How do I know the right words to say when I'm tapping?

Article by David Lake MD.

This question is perennial. To me it indicates that the mind is concerned about getting the instructions correct (and worried about getting them 'wrong'...). You might not need too many words at all! While EFT is robust and forgiving as a technique, it's easy to forget that it's a body-energy technique and not strictly a psychological one.

Thus, the emotion of the issue fills your system regardless of how the mind processes the problem, and this might be why focus and persistent tapping bring so many positive and varied results. I find it better to tap on body sensations and reactions than to get over-concerned about labelling every feeling. I am also interested in bringing the maximum leverage to the use of EFT by concentrating its effect on the most intense aspects of the dysfunction.

One of the best ways to do this is to emphasise and exaggerate the negative. This is important if you believe that EFT works its wonders by harmonizing the disruptions in our 'reactive' emotional system. I have also found that a light-hearted therapeutic focus on the dark side of personality and life can bring disproportionate relief, ironic acceptance, laughter, and compassion--and EFT will facilitate the unique alchemy of transformation. Steve Wells and I have been investigating this approach toward the negative over recent years in our Energy work (it is not fair to assume that his therapeutic imagination is more bizarre or surreal than mine).

This is a composite example of how I would do this in treating a relationship issue. The presenting problem is the frustration of a wife who 'can't trust' her husband, as a result of repeated broken promises. The couple sits together in a counselling session, both have learned EFT, and it is her turn to talk about her grievance. I ask her to tap on facial points whenever she feels intense about the situation, as it is important to take up every opportunity to 'treat as you go', and to end such a session with as many sequences of tapping completed as comfortably possible. I also ask the husband, this time, to tap for relief, if he needs to, while she talks--but to be silent. Read on