Sunday, May 10, 2009

Honour what you feel

Excerpt from One Day My Soul Just Opened Up by Iyanla Vanzant

There is nothing more frustrating than someone telling you that you should not feel something when you are feeling it. Don't they realise it's too late now! You are already in the midst of feeling it! Whatever the emotion you are experiencing at the time, someone shoulding on you usually does not help you get out of it. As a matter of fact, just hearing what you should not do will either push you deeper into the feeling or make you feel guilty or ashamed. Guilt implies that there is something wrong with what you are doing. Shame implies that there is something wrong with you because of what you are doing. Since we now understand that there is no right or wrong, we must also understand that we have a right to feel whatever we feel.

Tapping on the karate chop point or the sore spot, say:

Even though I don't allow myself to feel my feelings, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway
Even though when I feel ... I feel ashamed and guilty and that just makes me feel worse, I deeply and completely accept myself
Even though I believe there is something wrong with how I'm feeling and maybe something wrong with me, I accept that that is how I feel right now and that it is okay

TH - allowing my feelings
EB - I can't do that
SE - My feelings are "bad"
UE - But I still feel them
UN - Even more strongly
UC - It's wrong to feel this way
CB - I'm wrong to feel this way
UA - What do I do?

TH - I'm stuck again
EB - maybe I can just feel
SE - Just breathe
UE - and feel whatever it is
UN - there's the guilt
UC - It's okay
CB - now the shame
UA - That's okay too

TH - I can feel it
EB - It won't kill me
SE - Just breathe into it
UE - I'm okay
UN - I can feel this
UC - I can feel
CB - I can give myself permission to feel
UA - It is safe to feel this

You can adapt the above script to fit how you feel and do as many rounds as you need to. You may find that permission and safety are issues here so you can put these into the set up statements and reminder phrases and tap.

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