Covid, trauma and mental health

What does covid have to do with trauma and mental health? Everything.

It is appalling what is happening in the name of "health". A recent article in the Independent newspaper in Ireland wrote "Vaccine certificates may be needed to attend social gatherings or sporting events once the majority of the population are vaccinated". The article goes on to say "At the launch of the National Covid-19 Vaccination Programme, Health Minister Stephen Donnelly said certificates could play a key role in the fight against coronavirus if the vaccine significantly reduces transmission of the disease".

They know that these vaccines DO NOT prevent transmission. The trials were not designed to do anything but treat/suppress symptoms. Many people don't realise this.  A recent article from The British Medical Journal stated that: "None of the trials currently under way are designed to detect a reduction in any serious outcome such as hospital admissions, use of intensive care, or deaths. Nor are the vaccines being studied to determine whether they can interrupt transmission of the virus". So why are they needed? Why all the talk of mandating/forcing/coercing them?

These new, gene based vaccines using mRNA technology, have never been used before. Already there have been serious adverse events from the trials and initial vaccinations; Bells Palsy, Anapylactic shock and they have been contraindicated for women who are pregnant or wishing to become pregnant. 21% of people in the Moderna trials had serious adverse effects. Where there is risk, there HAS TO BE choice.

These vaccines were all tested on healthy, young people not older people with underlying conditions. Dr Mike Yeadon, former VP and chief scientific officer with Pfizer, says that no fit or healthy person need take this vaccine, only older and vulnerable people. And they also have a choice in this. Yet we are being forced/coerced to do so which contravenes the Nuremberg Code.

This is about medical freedom, informed consent and refusal and bodily sovereignty. I cannot believe that vaccine papers are even being contemplated. Where are we? The third Reich? This shows just how important it is to resolve individual, collective and intergenerational trauma because otherwise it repeats itself, over and over and over again. This is what we are now seeing in action.

Fear is being whipped up at every available opportunity which sounds my radar. People feel trapped, helpless and terrified. How on earth is this good for our health, mental or physical?

Medical freedom and body sovereignty

My radar sounds when anyone wants us afraid and to keep us afraid, using every opportunity to whip fear up.

My radar sounds when there is only one narrative allowed.

My radar sounds when there is no scientific debate.

My radar sounds when experienced doctors and scientists who don't agree with the one accepted narrative are discredited, smeared and censored.

My radar sounds because the inventor of the PCR tests, Kary Mullis, said it was not to be used for diagnostic purposes but they are used for exactly that purpose. Many scientists have spoken out against this and they have been ignored.

My radar sounds when the cycles on the PCR tests are too high producing false positives that are called cases.

My radar sounds when hatred towards a group who are pro science is allowed, incited and encouraged.

My radar sounds when I hear that governments are considering and some implementing, forced medical procedures.

My radar sounds when they want to punish those who decline a "warp speed" experimental vaccine (Dr Mike Yeadon, former chief scientific officer for Pfizer) with no travel, education, concerts, sports, restaurants, in person shopping etc.

My radar sounds when lockdowns are used, even though many many scientists have said they do not work, to prevent the spread of a virus with an above survival rate of 99.95% for under 70s (Professor John Lee).

My radar sounds when the vulnerable are not looked after and even left to die in nursing homes, despite all the virtue signalling and empty words.

I want to know why it is ok to say this in a national newspaper: "Given what is at stake, a refusal to vaccinate is the socialisation of manslaughter" ~ Gerard Howlin

I want to know why professor Brian Lucey of Trinity College Dublin can get away with tweeting this: "Bluntly, we need to make those who opt out to know they are opting out of sport, education, travel, socialising and in-person shopping. If that takes a mandatory passport showing your jabbed, so be it" ~ Professor Brian Lucey

I want to know why professor Luke O'Neill, also of Trinity, could go to a classroom and tell students they "should" get vaccinated and they might need to wear a wristband that doesn't come off to show they've been vaccinated if they want to go to their debs (prom). He also made fun of people who want their civil liberties and said they would say "Not on my wrist".

Dr Mike Yeadon, former chief scientist at Pfizer

God it's good to hear people tell the truth. Dr Mike Yeadon is one of the ethical scientists, speaking common sense and real science about the covid situation. He dares question the ONE accepted narrative from the mainstream which is what true science does: welcomes questions. Questions propel science forward. We're not hearing much science, just fear mongering and marketing for selling unsafe drugs.

He tweeted this brilliant piece last night on twitter. Another article you might want to read is 'Covid-19: politicisation, “corruption,” and suppression of science' from the British Medical Journal. Things are changing and people are waking up to probably the biggest hoax in the history of humankind.

"I’ve got news for any state which thinks it’s being cute by getting around the illegality of mandates by instead using COERCION. 

Just make your life increasingly unmanageable, so you ‘volunteer’ for it. 

No. 

That’s also illegal & such states will find themselves prosecuted by groups of concerned citizens & others. 

I still have no idea why this is happening, but I do know that the facts warrant offering (with full informed consent) vaccination only to the most vulnerable (by virtue of age and/or certain chronic illnesses). 

Absolutely no one else needs to consider vaccination. 

Perhaps in several years to come, in the usual fashion, as the thickness of the safety database grows, and we learn what these experimental medicines are really like, in the real world, those a few years below a rational but somewhat arbitrary age threshold might step forward & request vaccination. 

Not only is it not indicated from a medical perspective for others than those who demonstrably at elevated risk of severe illness & death, but such others will be adding an unknown risk for no benefit. 

No doctor is going to involve themselves in such a mass vaccination campaign. 

So if you notice mention of people other than healthcare professionals being involved, you have to put your collective feet down.

I’m constitutionally pro-vaccination & I’ve worked in & around ‘big pharma’ all my working life. 

But a rushed series of vaccines? They’re not needed.

So like mention of “waves”, I immediately smell a rat. 

We know that approximately 50% of the population were already immune to SARS-COV-2 before it arrived in U.K. 

The quality and number of original research papers published this year shows it’s a ‘hot’ area. 

It’s very clear. We know that it is real and we even know the mechanism (previous exposure to viruses with common regions to those in the new virus, in this case endemic common cold causing coronaviruses). 

This is a very well-trodden route whereby the human immune system learns how to defend itself against related hazards. 

Analogous to the cowpox exposures protects against smallpox story we were all taught at school, after the questionable experiments conducted by Edward Jenner. 

That’s why after only a low % of population were infected, there were too few remaining susceptible people to support a consolidated & growing outbreak to occur. 

That’s when I knew I was being lied to. 

While the laws of immunology aren’t as immutable as those of chemistry, for example, they’re pretty solid. 

They’re what keeps you safe & well, mostly, in a sea of invisible microorganisms. 

So there isn’t any question that the U.K. population is protected by “herd immunity” at a national level.  

It is possible that due to unhelpful actions by Govt a few areas might be just below HI. 

But as this immunity is robust & durable, it’s simply not possible for this “2nd wave” we’re being told is happening to actually be as described. 

There’s a major problem somewhere. 

I think it’s inside the testing system. I can’t think of a reason for this other than to prompt receptiveness to vaccination. 

And on policies designed to increase acceptance of vaccination, even by those not at any notable risk from this virus, we see all sorts of things which were just unthinkable last year. 

Making ‘freedom’ contingent on it. I don’t think we’ve long to make clear, as a free & democratic people, we tell with one voice, everybody who’s suborned their humanity to be involved in whatever this is, that we reject you and all your works.

And of all the most objectionable works, the one which must cease is PCR mass testing. 

Scientifically, a technique which was at its very limits in the spring (& did a pretty good job) has been changed & locked in the lighthouse. 

These structures are as old as seafaring. They’re not meant to gone close to, by most of us, as they’re a warning signal. 

Stay away...stay away...they blink. Telling us not to come close. 

For in coming close, we know what happened numerous times in the past when seafarers misunderstood the cues, misread the warnings. 

The first time you would learn you’d gone horribly wrong, was also beyond the last time for a safe outcome. 

Warnings from history? I don’t know". 

Your microbiome and your health Zach Bush MD

 

This video is excellent, an example of real science from a real doctor who I really admire, Zach Bush MD. The first 5 minutes are crucially important in understanding how we deal with respiratory viruses like Covid19. I hope it will leave you feeling empowered, hopeful and reassured.

The price of truth

When Dr. Pat Morrissey realised that silence was no longer an option, he made the difficult decision to stand up for what he believes is right: to protect his patients and set a brave example for his children. This meant losing almost everything he had worked for in the past 6 years... quote from Health Freedom Ireland

Unmasking the truth with Dr Marcus de Brun

 

An Irish doctor, Dr Marcus de Brun, standing up and speaking out for medical freedom, bodily sovereignty, informed consent and refusal.

There is nothing normal about what is going on

There is nothing normal about what is going on. The pandemic was over in May. I refuse to use the term, the "new normal" as it is a sick term. As Jiddu Krishnamurti said, "It is no measure of health to be profoundly adjusted to a sick society".

I cannot and will not participate in these crimes against humanity as a human and a mental health professional. This is trauma in action.

What's going on now has nothing to do with a virus, or health. The crimes being committed against us are heinous.

Make no mistake, the PCR test was chosen because it gives false positives. Your choice in the future will be an improperly tested, unsafe vaccine or a PCR test.

How will they almost guarantee you'll choose the vaccine? Because if you opt for the PCR test, and get a false positive (even more likely than now, all they have to do is increase the cycle rate), you'll have to self isolate for 14 days in a self isolation "facility". https://www2.hse.ie/services/coronavirus-self-isolation-facilities/ Note the review date for this is in 2023!

Ticketmaster and others are rolling these "options" out already but it won't be on their website just yet. The mainstream is very good at covering their tracks until just the right moment. That's why everyone calls these things a conspiracy theory, until they're not. I only wish all of this were still a conspiracy theory. 

Ireland has even developed a health passport, in the future you won't be able to travel without it. It will have all your medical information, including if you're up to date on all of your vaccinations.

Here are some resources that I hope will be of help.

https://worlddoctorsalliance.com/blog/theworldfreedomalliance2020announcementvideo/

https://covid19ireland.squarespace.com

https://questioningcovid.com

https://covileaks.co.uk

https://pandata.org

https://plandemicseries.com/ Watch the brilliant Dr David Martin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FQUmw5QljM Dr Mike Yeadon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mboEkVl9ooc Ivor Cummins fantastic analysis of covid19.

Facts help to dispel fear

Please watch the latest brilliant analysis by Ivor Cummins about covid19/SARS CoV-2. He presents the facts, which the Irish government, NPHET and the HSE are not doing. They are deliberately inducing fear and panic and keeping us in the dark. That sounds my radar. When people want you afraid, and want you to stay afraid, they are up to no good.

Lockdown and draconian fascist laws are not about a virus and they are certainly not about health. 

Ireland is currently under lockdown at level 5. The government have deemed clothes and shoes "non-essential" items, so clothes and shoe shops are shut. But these items can be bought in some supermarkets. There are police guarding these "non essential items" to intimidate, scare and fine people for breaching laws that are supposedly protecting the vulnerable. The vulnerable that the government and the health service never gave a shit about before covid19, nor after. How is being able to buy a winter coat for your child spreading covid19 or not protecting the vulnerable? It is now a crime to buy a non essential item, but child trafficking, abuse, murder, corruption are not serious enough for police to be on hand for.

We cannot go further than 5 kilometres from our homes or we risk being fined (€500 - €2500, imprisoned, or both). There is no advice about having adequate vitamin D levels (see the many studies showing the link between covid19 and low vitamin D levels), strengthening our immune systems and the simple act of being able to breathe fresh air without a useless mask. Look at this Danish study that journals refuse to publish, I wonder why?

I will continue to speak out about the horror I see happening right in front of our eyes. What's more worrying to me are the people who justify lockdowns, mask wearing etc., or see no wrong in what is being done in the name of "health" and public "protection". But more of us need to wake up to what's going on, that's for sure. Our rights are being eroded and some are being brainwashed into thinking that looking to maintain your human rights is selfish. The old divide and conquer routine, it works every time if we let it.

I don't think any person of 80 or 90 years of age wants children traumatised, conditioned, brainwashed, or wanting to take their life. Not being able to sleep because of high anxiety and feeling too depressed to leave the house, even though they can only go 5km from their house. As Ivor Cummins says in the video "For people who think, still, that lockdown maybe helped this be better than it was [initial peak in deaths back in April], we now have many many papers published with the analysis where lockdown is shown again and again and again to have very limited impact on mortality. The best thing lockdown does is kind of ruin your society but it gives no bang for the buck.

More resources.

Everyone’s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there’s really an easy way: Stop participating in it ~ Noam Chomsky

Afraid, helpless and entrapped

If you wanted to induce trauma, create fear, helplessness and entrap people. Give them no chance of escape so they feel/are defeated.

This is what many governments are doing in the name of "protecting" the vulnerable. The vulnerable that were essentially ignored and underfunded before, and after, covid19.

Governments and the mainstream media are deliberately traumatising people. They are trying to bring us to our knees, not with social distancing, but with social isolation. A totally different animal. 

This is not about a virus. And it certainly isn't about health. 

Ireland has some of the most draconian lockdown laws in place right now under level 5. It is like living in a dystopian science fiction nightmare.

As a mental health professional, I am absolutely horrified at what is going on and what continues to go on under the guise of a "pandemic", which it no longer is.

What is happening to our children is particularly heinous. Our lovely, innocent and vulnerable children are being conditioned, manipulated and emotionally blackmailed into believing that they are vectors for a "deadly" virus, which Professor John Lee says has an infection mortality rate of 0.05% in the under 70s, which means 99.95% survive covid19 under 70 years of age. There are many thousands of scientists and doctors who say the same thing but they are ignored and censored.

Look for the facts instead of being taken in by all the constant scare and guilt mongering, facts help to dispel fear. 

The mainstream are brainwashing people into believing that wanting to maintain our human rights is selfish and people are falling for it.

Let's look after our vulnerable properly, instead of empty, manipulative lies to make people feel guilty for something they are not doing. 

I want a better normal, not a so-called "new normal". This slogan is yet another example of the outrageous conditioning/brainwashing we are being subjected to 24/7.

What is happening is characteristic of what happens in a cult. To read more on cults see: https://www.cultrecover.com/cultdef

Conspiracy theorists, personality disorders and the mentally ill

There is a really worrying trend right now in the mental health field and that is to call anyone who is a "conspiracy theorist" mentally ill. I've also noticed some mental health "professionals" deriding and shaming people who question authority and/or authority figures. This has come to the fore because of covid19. If you dare question the one acceptable narrative, you're mentally ill, a conspiracy theorist and any other insults they can hurl at you.

Carl Jung is famous for popularising the phenomenon of individuation and if you have ever had the privilege of raising a child or seeing a child being raised, you'll know that at around 18 months to 2 years old, their most commonly used word is No. This is the natural start of the healthy individuation process from the parent and it is crucial that parents not only respect a child's No, but encourage it. All too often parents squash a child's No, making the child doubt and not trust themselves. So it really appalls me, and worries me, that some in the mental health field see questioning authority as a bad thing, or even as something linked to "mental illness".

What I'd really like to know is who gets to define what a conspiracy theory actually is? The mainstream? It seems so, because they are the only people who use the term, the so-called "normal" people. It isn't politically correct anymore to ridicule marginalised people, which of course is only right, but not if it's just for show, to signal virtue which really isn't there. The only group people are allowed, and encouraged, by the mainstream to ridicule, insult and disparage are the so-called conspiracy theorists, the anti-vaxxers, the anti-maskers, and on and on with these ludicrous terms. 

Lissa Rankin posted an article the other day which truly appalled me. It was titled "The Psychology Of Why People Believe Conspiracy Theories: A Compassionate Lens to Help You Understand Loved Ones You Lost Down The Rabbit Hole".

Some quotes from the article that I found particularly awful:

"The truth is that you’re not likely to alter someone’s point of view with facts if they’ve been seduced into cultish conspiracy thinking, especially if the facts you use (mainstream science journals, mainstream media) are part of their conspiracy paranoia". 

Another cracker:

"Where does black and white thinking come from? It tends to ride shotgun with mental illness, especially personality disorders. In short, it’s a trauma symptom and therefore deserves our understanding and our compassion. When people are hurt, especially when they’re hurt with early childhood developmental trauma and attachment wounding, there can be a tendency to polarize into immature cognitive processes like black and white thinking"

Lissa conflates conspiracy theories and cults, two totally different things. She tries to take a compassionate slant in her article but it ends up being patronising. 

The first point I'd like to make is that people who are traumatised (most of the world's population to some degree) are NOT mentally ill. Personality "disorders" are often derided and shamed within the mental health profession. How is that helpful or compassionate? I've heard many say "they" are "unhelpable". Have you ever heard anyone from the mainstream saying that Bill Gates is on the sociopathic/psychopathic end of the personality disorder spectrum? I certainly haven't. And let's be honest, seen through that lens, he most certainly would fit the bill. If we're going to have one rule for conspiracy theorists, let's apply it to everyone for fairness sake.

Using Lissa's own logic, the mainstream is a cult. Mainstream thinking believes it is right, they have a monopoly on being right, everyone else is wrong. This is completely compatible with her idea of black and white thinking. Only ONE accepted narrative on anything is tolerated in the mainstream and again this is especially true with covid19. And if you deviate from the mainstream you're a conspiracy theorist. If that's not black and white thinking I don't know what is. The hypocrisy and lack of insight is astounding.

The second point I'd like to make is that many studies in scientific journals have been sponsored by big pharma so they have gross conflicts of interest. In my opinion, it is very wise and prudent to not trust/dig deeper into these studies which have usually been "cooked". Am I a conspiracy theorist because I say this or because I trust the real scientists who take these studies apart to show just how flawed and conflicted they are?

The mainstream has brainwashed people into believing covid19 is deadly, which is why the mainstream fits her definition of what a cult is. But they don't realise they've been brainwashed (typical cult behaviour). Covid19 is deadly to some, like the flu, pneumonia, tuberculosis, cancer, heart disease, starvation and dehydration is. Is it more deadly? No. Look at the facts, it affects mostly older people with underlying conditions. Is it more sad when someone dies of covid19 than starvation? No. All deaths, for whatever reason, are sad. Do we lockdown for anything else? No.

Covid19 does not justify older people dying alone, the scandals of people dying in nursing homes, lockdowns, isolation, people being punished with fines, public shaming, curfews, not being able to go beyond 5 kilometres form your home, not being able to go to funerals or weddings, mandatory masks, even for children in some countries, waiting for a vaccine (the saviour, another cult characteristic) so lockdowns can be lifted, people losing their homes, jobs, not being able to put food on the table, rising suicides, rising domestic abuse, rising child abuse, the disgraceful brainwashing of children that they are dangerous and vectors of a "deadly" virus and the world being under near total tyranny.

Oct 20th Shocking Data - Endemic Virus versus Damaging Lockdowns

This is a brilliant piece of analysis by Ivor Cummins on the current lockdown in Ireland. I'm sharing this as I believe what's happening the world over is horrendous and not enough mental health professionals are speaking out about it. 

Our social engagement system

A Harvard study, nearly 80 years old, has proved that embracing community helps us live longer and be happier. Robert Waldinger*, the director of the study said: “The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health". 

I don't know why this is surprising. We all know, and feel, when we don't have connection, community or love in our lives. It is one of the greatest poverties and traumas we can endure. We only have to look around the world to see the devastating effects of traumatic ruptures in families and communities.

Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory has shown us just how important social engagement is for our health. The social engagement system is the newest evolution of nervous system. It enables us to connect, engage and feel loved in ways that have helped us evolve, live longer and stay healthy. The soft warm gaze of a mother, face to face with her baby, using soothing sounds is a perfect example of what social engagement can accomplish: secure attachment.

We cannot do without social engagement and the powers that be know this. Solitary confinement is one of the worst punishments doled out in prisons because they know it brings a person to their knees. Their mental and physical health suffers terribly which is exactly why it is used.

What's the difference between that and world governments forcing lockdowns, social distancing and mask wearing for a virus with a survival rate of 99.99%? There have been more suicides, cases of anxiety, depression and trauma because of this strategy. Not to mention the effects it has on our physical health and immune systems. 

We need to ask, are lockdowns and social distancing being used in the same way that solitary confinement is used? Are they being used to bring us to our knees? We cannot say we live in democracies if we cannot have an open discussion about how such a huge, forced change has affected the way we live our lives.

As Ali Zeck said in her post today: "You cannot be in the arena of mental health today and affect change or truly help people without discussing the psychological abuse and gaslighting that humans on this planet are currently undergoing, otherwise you’re participating in the gaslighting by not talking about the elephant in the room, so large that he’s cutting off everyone’s oxygen".

“Loneliness kills. It’s as powerful as smoking or alcoholism" ~ Robert Waldinger

*Robert Waldinger is a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital and a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

The trauma of covid19

During the lockdown, I have seen many mental health professionals question the mental health of those who question authority. I think this is appalling and anything but professional or trauma informed.

There is a big difference between being authoritative and authoritarian and all governments are being tyrannical and authoritarian, except Sweden, in their handling of the corona virus as far as I can see. 

According to mercola.com, "Based on deaths per capita, the global average death rate for COVID-19 is 0.009%. The average person’s chance of surviving this disease is 99.991%".

How on earth can lockdown, mandatory mask wearing, suicide, depression, trauma, people dying alone, people losing their jobs, houses and who don't have enough money to feed themselves be justified if 99.991% of us are surviving covid19? It cannot be justified. 

We need to protect our vulnerable, not just from covid19, but from anything that can harm them and the same goes for all 7.8 billion of us. The PR spin we are being subjected to, is just that, as the cases of disgraceful nursing home deaths all over the world shows.

We have locked down for covid19, why haven't we locked down for the flu? The flu kills more people than covid19, as revised statistics are showing. If we heard the fatality statistics for any infection or disease, day after day after day, non-stop, we would be afraid of getting it. This fear mongering for covid19 cannot be justified in any way, except to control people.

This is one of the most traumatic times that human beings have ever faced. This affects the entire world, all 7.8 billion of us. Our basic human rights to informed consent, bodily sovereignty and medical freedom are being seriously infringed and taken away, bit by bit. Death by a thousand cuts, unless we take a stand.

It is my view that to question authority is in fact a really healthy thing to do and is part of the individuation process that Carl Jung talks about. 

My heart breaks for the children having to wear masks all day in school, have their temperatures taken and to socially distance. This is no way for children to grow up. The war on viruses, like the war on terror, drugs, cancer, will not work. These 'wars' are ludicrous. Humans have evolved over millions of years with viruses, bacteria and so on. Governments (and corporations) are teaching our children to be afraid of their own and others' bodies, and I am just appalled at this. It is criminal.

As far as I'm concerned, there are no experts, only people with expertise. People who refer to themselves as experts have put themselves on a pedestal as if to say they know it all. No one knows it all. People with expertise realise they are always learning, the learning journey never ends. 

The people with expertise who I am learning from on this issue are Jack Kruse, Kelly Brogan, Zach Bush, Ben Lynch, Joseph Mercola, Joseph Yi, Dolores Cahill, Christiane Northrup, Andrew Kaufman, Robert F. Jennedy Jr and amazing politicians taking a stand for truth like Sara Cunial in Italy, to name a few. Watch her address the Italian parliament, it is inspiring https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9InUJC2VOo&frags=pl%2Cwn

Legal exemptions for not wearing face masks in Ireland

Please watch this video by barrister, Tracey O'Mahony, on reasonable excuses you can legally avail of not to wear a mask in Ireland. You can download the forms she provides, under the video. You will not get this information from gov.ie, though they do give reasons why some people don't have to wear a mask. I'm sharing this because I believe that it can be very traumatic for some people to have to wear masks and also because I am an advocate for bodily sovereignty and medical freedom in all cases.

We can't hold our pain on our own

We can't hold our pain on our own. We need attunement, not just as babies, but all throughout our life. That need never goes away, nor should it.

Peter Levine says that trauma is what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness. Maybe this is what really hurts us, having no one to hold us, no one who believes us, validates us and our experiences, nowhere to rest and be our self.

Self-regulation (the ability to soothe our self) is a myth, says Bonnie Badenoch and I agree with her. We always need co-regulation, even when we're on our own, we're drawing from a well of having been supported throughout our life and the warmth of knowing we have someone now. Hopefully we all have the fortune to have people in our life that can hold our emotional experiences with us, and if not we can work towards that. 

Robert Stolorow calls this a 'relational home'. He says, "Emotional experience is inseparable from the contexts of attunement and malattunement in which it is felt. Painful emotional experiences become enduringly traumatic in the absence of a relational home or context of human understanding within which they can be held and integrated".

Don't go it alone, reach out.

Where do you spend most of your time?

When we're living with unresolved trauma, we spend a lot of time around the middle and bottom part of the polyvagal ladder. We do this by necessity because there are internal threat(s) and/or external threat(s) which we need to avoid.

Internal threats usually involve us fighting difficult emotions, physical sensations. Not wanting to feel or go inside because it is too painful, and mobilising against our self as if we were the enemy. Being stuck in fight and flight takes a huge personal toll on our physical and mental health. When fighting or fleeing get too much for us, or they are not possible, we'll dissociate and check out.

We can circle in and out of flight, fight and shutdown for years if our traumatic experiences aren't healed. External threats are more difficult to resolve, there is something we can do about internalised threats, but we often have little control or agency over external threats such as oppression, sexism, racism, tyranny, police states, poverty, war and so on.

Ideally we'd all be living most, or all, of our life in the ventral vagal state; feeling safe, social, connected and engaged. We'd only need to flee, fight, or dissociate in extrenuous circumstances and with support and community, we'd return to feeling safe, supported and loved. It is crucially important for us to exercise agency over what we can in order to improve our health and resolve trauma. This involves learning to trust our self and finding what works for us.

To find out more about the polyvagal ladder, check out Deb Dana's website.

When you lose your body, you lose your self

Chapter 6 in the book, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk is called: Losing Your Body, Losing Your Self. The excerpt below is from this chapter and illustrates the importance of our interoceptive sense and befriending our body.

"What is your brain doing when you have nothing on in particular on your mind? It turns out that you pay attention to yourself. The default state activates the brain areas that work together to create your sense of "self".

When Ruth [Lanius] looked at the scans of her normal subjects, she found activation of default state network (DSN) regions that previous researchers had described. I like to call this the Mohawk of self-awareness, the midline structures of the brain, starting out right above our eyes, running through the center of the brain all the way to the back. All these midline structures are involved in our sense of self. The largest bright region at the back of the brain is the posterior cingulate, which gives us a physical sense of where we are—our internal GPS. It is strongly connected to the medial prefrontal cortex (MPFC), the watchtower. It is also connected with brain areas that register sensations coming from the rest of the body: the insula, which relays messages from the viscera to the emotional centers; the parietal lobes, which integrate sensory information; and the anterior cingulate, which coordinates emotions and thinking. All of these areas contribute to consciousness.

The contrast with the scans of the eighteen chronic PTSD patients with severe early-life trauma was startling. There was almost no activation of any of the self-sensing areas of the brain … There could be only one explanation for such results. In response to the trauma itself, and in coping with the dread that persisted long afterward, these patients had learned to shut down the brain areas that transmit the visceral feelings and emotions that accompany and define terror. Yet in everyday life, those same brain areas are responsible for registering the entire range of emotions and sensations that form the foundation of our self-awareness, our sense of who we are. What we witnessed here was a tragic adaptation: In an effort to shut off terrifying sensations, they also deadened their capacity to feel fully alive".

How do I create safety?

I was asked the other day how I create safety in a session. And it was hard to answer off the cuff but it's a crucially important question and it got me thinking. Some of the obvious answers are being present, attuned, active listening and taking someone's experiences seriously. You would think that these therapeutic ingredients would be a given, but they are not.  As a client I have had many experiences with therapists/practitioners who didn't listen, were anything but attuned and even gave me a different treatment than what I had asked for and then acted like I shouldn't have complained! Needless to say, the foundations are essential.

But there are some intangibles to creating safety and feeling safe that I think are ineffable. Safety is felt, it isn't explained, we can't talk someone into feeling safe, we create the right conditions and ingredients and it is a continuous process. It's like a good parent, they use actions as well as soft soothing words to meet the needs of their baby and the baby then learns they can trust them and as a result they feel safe. They have 'evidence' for knowing they can feel safe and a client needs evidence too. You'll know whether you feel safe or not (or the possibility of growing safer), it is a case of trusting the answers your body gives you.

I think using intuition can create quantum leaps in therapeutic work, which again is about trust; this can also create more safety, as a client can feel more heard when you intuit what's going on or how they're feeling. The best container that I know of is an attuned relationship, and healthy containment helps us feel safe. I am not a fan of container exercises as the bodymind will do what it does and get triggered etc. between sessions. It can't "obey" instructions to keep difficult stuff in, that stuff wants to be heard and seen. Learning to be the container for difficult emotions and sensations, rather than looking outside for containers, that often don't work in my experience and can make someone feel inadequate or that they're doing it wrong, is much more empowering.

Attachment "disorders"

How is it that a baby who wanted and needed to attach ends up with a diagnosis of attachment "disorder" as an adult? We really need to stop describing trauma as a disorder and a mental illness.

Babies are not ambivalent, avoidant, insecure or disorganised by nature, it is lack of nurture that causes them to develop this way.

A baby can't attach to a moving, neglectful or abusive target. By moving I mean someone who isn't emotionally available. Emotional abuse and neglect doesn't get half the credence and weight they deserve. In addition, there is always emotional abuse alongside physical and sexual abuse.

However, there are always exceptions to every rule. There are some parents who, despite their own traumas, have made some sense of them, they might still have some unresolved issues (don't we all?), but they own them and take responsibility for working on them. They are not projecting their unlived life onto their child.

I don't believe the saying that you can't give what you never got, you can. You can break the cycle and love your baby the way you weren't loved.

We are not survival of the fittest. We are survival of the nurtured ~ Louis Cozolino

Walk your own path

This place where you are right now, God circled on a map for you ~ Hafiz

Some beautiful paths can't be discovered without getting lost ~ Erol Ozan

Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker ~ Garth Nix

I honour every woman who has strength  enough to step out of the beaten path when she feels that her walk lies in another ~ Harriet Hosmer

Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and reverence ~ Henry David Thoreau

Traveller, there is no path. Paths are made by walking ~ Antonio Machado

Far better to live your own path imperfectly than to live another's perfectly ~ Bhagavad Gita

Tapping on implicit memories

If an implicit memory is triggered, the cause isn't always obvious because nothing might have happened to upset us. It can feel like these feelings and body sensations are coming out of the blue and this what we can find very frightening and confusing, because there is no obvious explanation for them.

This is because implicit memories are very early memories. Big feelings and body sensations can feel extremely frightening to a baby and child and when these feelings come up later we're left wondering what is happening. I often use a combination of EFT and pendulation which is from somatic experiencing, developed by Peter Levine. They work seamlessly together. Try tapping on:

Even though it feels like this memory came out of nowhere, I accept how I feel

Even though I don't understand where this is coming from, I accept how I feel

Even though this feeling/body sensations feels … I honour my feelings

Top of the head: I feel frightened
Eyebrow: Of ...
Side of eye: I don't understand where this ... is coming from
Under eye: I'll tap
Under nose: And breathe
Under chin: This is a really early feeling
Collar bone: That I just couldn't feel
Under arm: It was too big for me

Top of the head: Maybe I can feel some it now
Eyebrow: 10% (feel in to what feels right for you)
Side of eye: That feels ...
Under eye: That must have been so frightening for me
Under nose: No wonder it short circuited my nervous system
Under chin: Maybe it's coming up now so I can feel it
Collar bone: And calm and soothe little me
Under arm: S/he needs me

Top of the head: I can be there for me
Eyebrow: Slowly but surely
Side of eye: It's ok if I feel afraid too
Under eye: We understand how each other is feeling
Under nose: If I feel overwhelmed
Under chin: I can stop
Collar bone: Or find another place in my body that feels ok
Under arm: And move my attention

Top of the head: Between the two places
Eyebrow: 30 seconds with my knee
Side of eye: And 10 seconds with this awful feeling
Under eye: Back to my knee which feels neutral
Under nose: And I'll keep tapping
Under chin: And breathing
Collar bone: Until I feel calmer
Under arm: That feels ...

Emotional charges in the nervous system

Each time we experience an event that overwhelms our capacity to cope, an electrical charge, or short circuit, is created in our nervous system. It doesn't matter if fight, flight or freeze generated the charge, what's important is that the charge be released from our nervous system as soon as possible.

There are many reasons this doesn't happen; developmental stage, not being co-regulated, not knowing how, being too "civilised" and so on.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) dissolves these emotional charges in our nervous system by tapping on various parts of the body. One reason (of many) that EFT works, is that the crystalline structure of the collagen molecules that make up our connective tissue or fascia is a semiconductor. Semiconductors are not only able to conduct energy, they are also able to conduct information. By tapping on the acupressure points contained within our fascia, piezoelectric signals are sent throughout the nervous system (which includes our brain) and dissolve the charge. The really fascinating thing though is that EFT also works even if you imagine tapping on the points!I think this is because our intention when we tap, or do any work, is really important.

Each memory, or trauma/dissociation capsule as Robert Scaer phrases it, can have several emotional charges and each memory will contain distinct details. By working on the details of a memory/capsule; a narrative, body sensations etc. you can dissolve the charges that are disrupting and disregulating your nervous system. With EFT you can work with implicit or explicit memory, you do not have to have a narrative for EFT to be effective. It can work with no talking whatsoever.

The more undissolved charges we have in our nervous system, the more adverse effects on our physical and mental health. These 'charges' divert energy away from healing to just coping and surviving which is no way to live and thrive. It is like trying to keep beach balls submerged under water all the time, it is absolutely exhausting.

The nervous system is like a giant electrical grid that connects all organs and all systems in the body with the brain ~ Gabor Maté

What's worse?

Many of us are emotionally starving for what Robert Stolorow calls a 'relational home': another human being who can hold a space for us to feel what we feel and be who we are in that moment.

Instead, what many of us get are shaming messages; what we feel and who we are is wrong.

There is such a strong phobia of "negative" emotions at the moment. If you have or feel an emotion on the "negative" list, you're vibrating too low, or you're dragging everyone else down. It's all about positivity, but a fake and forced positivity which is absolutely exhausting.

Emotions come and go, if we let them. We will never reach a point where we'll have gotten rid of fear, anger or jealousy forever. That's not supposed to happen because emotions have a purpose. Fear can be life saving, anger can help us set boundaries and jealousy can show us what we really want.

Do you know what's worse than feeling a so-called low vibration emotion? Repressing, suppressing, disowning, denying and pushing away your emotions. Worse in the sense that you'll have to meet these disowned emotions sooner or later. In the meantime the body takes them on for us, patiently waiting for us to feel them, only that never happens for some of us, so our system starts to overflow with symptoms because it can only take so much.

Our shadow is where we shove all the stuff we don't want to be, see, feel or what others found distasteful in us, especially when we were children. But the shadow doesn't go away, it only gets bigger the more we disown it.

We can see evidence of the individual and collective shadow everywhere at the moment and it ain't pretty, but looking away isn't going to help. We need to dive deeper. Our lives depend on it.

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious ~ Carl Jung

Interoception: one of our 8 senses

The ability to track and sense what is going on inside our body is called interoception, it is one of eight, not five as commonly taught, senses that we have.⁣
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When we haven't been co-regulated/attuned to from infancy, which is probably the majority of us, difficult emotions and their physical sensations will be very hard to stay with and process. We need support and help to feel the big stuff and our caregivers need to be able to soothe us when we get upset. If we are not soothed on a consistent basis, we shutdown and do all sorts of stuff to try and manage what we can't really manage because developmentally, we just can't.⁣

⁣This pattern of dissociating and avoiding then continues throughout life. We keep shoving stuff into our bodies, expecting them to be able to take it, until we reach breaking point and there is no other choice but to deal with it, or continue to suffer.⁣
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Bessel van der Kolk says in The Body Keeps the Score: "In order to change, people need to become aware of their sensations and the way that their bodies interact with the world around them. Physical self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past.⁣
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In my practice I begin the process by helping my patients to first notice and then describe the feelings in their bodies—not emotions such as anger or anxiety or fear but the physical sensations beneath the emotions: pressure, heat, muscular tension, tingling, caving in, feeling hollow, and so on. I also work on identifying the sensations associated with relaxation or pleasure. I help them become aware of their breath, their gestures and movements".⁣
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Making friends with our body and its sensations is essential to living a healthy and good life.⁣

Honouring the body

Our bodies are the repository for all of our experiences. When we don't process/experience these experiences, our bodies have to take on the burden of all this undigested stuff. This is fine for a while, but if we keep pushing things down into our bodies, it will eventually give and start to leak symptoms. Often the symptoms will be metaphors for what is going on with us.

The symptoms are the bread crumb trail to the root cause(s) but many of us get mired in figuring out and treating only symptoms.

Very often, the cause is unresolved trauma which places a huge burden on our bodies. They can only hold so much. The four books below talk about this very subject.

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, Bessel van der Kolk

The Body Bears the Burden: Trauma, Dissociation, and Disease, Robert Scaer

When the Body Says No: Understanding the Stress-Disease Connection, Gabor Maté

The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Hurtful Parenting, Alice Miller

Try and really answer the questions posed here, write them down, and start tapping on your answers.

Meeting and feeling pain

You can be 2%, 5%, 10% willing … whatever feels right to you. You don't have to meet your pain all at once. It's important to stay within your window of tolerance (what you can cope with without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down). The more willing we are to meet and feel our pain, the less our triggers and symptoms have to scream for our attention because we're already paying them attention.