A Harvard study, nearly 80 years old, has proved that embracing community helps us live longer and be happier. Robert Waldinger*, the director of the study said: “The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health".
I don't know why this is surprising. We all know, and feel, when we don't have connection, community or love in our lives. It is one of the greatest poverties and traumas we can endure. We only have to look around the world to see the devastating effects of traumatic ruptures in families and communities.
Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory has shown us just how important social engagement is for our health. The social engagement system is the newest evolution of nervous system. It enables us to connect, engage and feel loved in ways that have helped us evolve, live longer and stay healthy. The soft warm gaze of a mother, face to face with her baby, using soothing sounds is a perfect example of what social engagement can accomplish: secure attachment.
We cannot do without social engagement and the powers that be know this. Solitary confinement is one of the worst punishments doled out in prisons because they know it brings a person to their knees. Their mental and physical health suffers terribly which is exactly why it is used.
What's the difference between that and world governments forcing lockdowns, social distancing and mask wearing for a virus with a survival rate of 99.99%? There have been more suicides, cases of anxiety, depression and trauma because of this strategy. Not to mention the effects it has on our physical health and immune systems.
We need to ask, are lockdowns and social distancing being used in the same way that solitary confinement is used? Are they being used to bring us to our knees? We cannot say we live in democracies if we cannot have an open discussion about how such a huge, forced change has affected the way we live our lives.
As Ali Zeck said in her post today: "You cannot be in the arena of mental health today and affect change or truly help people without discussing the psychological abuse and gaslighting that humans on this planet are currently undergoing, otherwise you’re participating in the gaslighting by not talking about the elephant in the room, so large that he’s cutting off everyone’s oxygen".
“Loneliness kills. It’s as powerful as smoking or alcoholism" ~ Robert Waldinger
*Robert Waldinger is a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital and a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.
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