Letting go with the help of EFT

By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning 

~ Lao Tzu

Many of us fear letting go. What if we can't get it back? What if we end up alone? What if we end up being wrong and having to do it all over again? What if they get away with it, again? What if we stop trying? What will happen then? You know you need to let go when you feel stuck, when you see the same patterns of behaviour repeating themselves over and over again in your life. One of the biggest obstacles we have and use for not letting go, is our attachment to a situation or person. We want a situation or person to be different than what it really is or was and very often this leads us down the road of denial. We resist what happened or what is happening now, and this resistance leads to a feeling of being stuck.

Using the analogy of eating; we ingest food and assimilate what we need and eliminate - let go of what we don't need or what doesn't serve us. If we don't eliminate or let go of what we don't need, we become congested, constipated, full, heavy and laden down. The same thing happens with our experiences in life. Only we seem to have more difficulty in letting go of certain experiences, so we hold on and we keep holding on because sometimes we just don't know how to let go. Try the following EFT script for letting go, customise the set up statements and phrases to really help you tune in to how letting go relates to you and your life.

Tapping on the karate chop point x 3 times or rubbing the sore spot (see short cut diagram), say:

Even though the thoughts of letting go fill me with____________I completely accept how I feel

Even though I don't want to let go because______________I completely accept how I feel

Even though it is not safe to let go because____________I love and accept myself anyway

TH I don't want to let go
EB I'm afraid
SE I can't
UE I'll be hurt again
UN I need my guard up
UC I have to remember
CB No I don't
UA Yes, I do

TH I don't know how to let go
EB And that's okay
SE No it's not
UE Yes, it is
UN I don't have to know right now
UC It's hard not to hold on for dear life
CB And that's okay
UA It's how I feel

TH Letting go feels________
EB And that makes me feel________
SE And that's okay
UE It's okay to feel that way
UN No, it's not
UC Yes, it is
CB I feel it anyway, so why pretend?
UA It's exhausting keeping it all in

TH I don't have to do that any more
EB But I don't know what else to do
SE That's okay
UE No, it's not
UN I'm stuck, I feel stuck
UC I feel stuck
CB I feel stuck
UA I feel this feeling________(note and locate where in your body you feel this feeling and do a few rounds of tapping on that. If you do not have any bodily sensations, that's okay too, do more rounds on how you're feeling until you can say “I can let go” “It is safe to let go” “I give myself permission to let go” “I deserve to let go” and it feels true on a 0 to 10 scale, 10 being the most true and 0 being the most false.

Ever so Lonely ~ Sheila Chandra

"The Ocean refuses no River"

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten we belong to each other

~ Mother Teresa

The Twelve Meridians by Dr John Diamond

This is excerpted from Dr John Diamond's Acupuncture Emotional System. Below is a list of the twelve meridians along with their emotional states and positive affirmations associated with them.

The Twelve Meridians

The Lung Meridian (thumb point); The meridian of humility. The associated positive affirmations are:

I am humble.
I am tolerant.
I am modest.

The Thyroid Meridian (gamut spot); The meridian of hope. It is classically called the triple heater meridian (which governs fight or flight). The associated positive affirmations are:

I am light and buoyant.
I am buoyed up with hope.

The Stomach (under the eye point) Meridian; The meridian of contentment and tranquility. The associated positive affirmations are:

I am content
I am tranquil.

The Spleen Meridian (under the breast on rib cage, left side); The meridian of confidence. The associated positive affirmations are:

I have faith and confidence in my future
I am secure.

The Gall Bladder Meridian (side of eye point); The meridian of adoration. The associated positive affirmation is:

I reach out with love.

The Small Intestine Meridian (side of hand point); The meridian of joy. The associated positive affirmation is:

I am jumping with joy.

The Liver Meridian (under the breast, right side); The meridian of happiness. The associated positive affirmations are:

I am happy.
I have good fortune.
I am cheerful.

The Kidney Meridian (collar bone points); The meridian of sexual assuredness. The associated positive affirmation is:

My sexual energies are balanced.

The Large Intestine Meridian (index finger point); The meridian of self-worth. The associated positive affirmations are:

I am basically clean and good.
I am worthy of being loved.

The Heart Meridian (little finger point); The meridian of forgiveness. The associated positive affirmations are:

I have forgiveness in my heart.
My heart is filled with love.

The Circulation-Sex Meridian (middle finger point); The meridian of relaxation and generosity. The associated positive affirmations are:

I renounce the past.
I am relaxed.
I am generous.

The Bladder Meridian (eyebrow point); The meridian of peace and harmony. The associated positive affirmations are:

I am at peace.
I am in harmony.

Try tapping on the above statements (watch for any objections/tailenders, which you can also tap on) using either the EFT shortcut or basic recipe, or you can always tap on the meridian governing a particular organ or body part that you're having an issue with at the moment.

Finding core issues

Taken from the EFT newsletter 23rd November 2009, by Gary Craig:

When EFT "doesn't work," it is usually NOT because it doesn't work.

Instead, the real reason for not seeing results is because the practitioner has not applied EFT properly. Perhaps the practitioner has not been specific enough or maybe emerging aspects are masking otherwise valid healing work. We have covered these possibilities earlier in this tutorial.

There is another important element of sophistication that we need to explore ... namely ... the discovery of Core Issues. Sometimes a client's "presenting problem" is nothing more than a symptom of a Core Issue--a much deeper, much more important underlying problem. Once the Core Issue is discovered, it can usually be broken down into specific events and handled routinely.

There are many live examples of Core Issues throughout the various EFT training tapes. Study, for example, the case of Nate's "fear of heights" on the From EFT to the Palace of Possibilities DVD set. Nate comes up on stage with other height phobics and makes only modest headway. After some detective work, however, it was discovered that the real Core Issue was the sense of ridicule he felt when he was teased and prodded to make a parachute jump from a helicopter (while in the armed services). Once we took care of that Core Issue, his fear of heights vanished. In addition, his eyesight improved and his elevated blood pressure dropped dramatically (without taking his medication).

Other live examples abound within our EFT - Beyond the Basics DVD set. Pay particular attention to the sessions with Craig (Bashful Bladder), David (Fear of Public Speaking), Martha (Being Reserved) and Jane (Accident).

Finding Core Issues is an art and it requires experience to do it expertly. Fortunately, there are some common sense questions that can help you get to Core Issues quickly. Here are some of them....

• "What does this issue remind you of?"
  
• "When was the first time you can remember feeling the same kind of feeling?"
  
• "If there was a deeper emotion underlying this problem, what might it be?"
  
• "If you could live your life over again, what person or event would you prefer to skip?"

Please be aware, however, that a favorite answer clients like to give to these questions is, "I don't know." When you hear this, be persistent. You can say, "Well, just guess for me." Their guesses are usually right on target. Gary Craig

Let the beauty we love be what we do ~ Rumi

Iago, Study from an Italian, Julia Margaret Cameron, 1867

What are your dreams for your self and your life? If you can't think of any, just think back for one moment to when you were a child. Children are full of fantastic imaginings and exciting dreams which they are convinced are going to come true! They haven't yet learned to censor themselves or preclude the infinite possibilities that are open to them. They are full of hope, innocence and creativity, even in the most difficult of circumstances.

The photograph above is one of my all time favourite images. I used to work as a photographer and while I was at college studying photography, I learned about a photographer called Julia Margaret Cameron. I was really drawn to her style. I feel something when I look at her images, something that I can't quite explain or articulate even now but I can best describe her work as beautiful and ethereal. For me the essence and meaning is akin to the poetry of Rumi or Teresa of Avila.

Julia is quoted as saying "I longed to arrest all the beauty that came before me and at length the longing has been satisfied." I love what she accomplished, she took up photography in her late forties in the 1800s. Her work shows, in my opinion, that she was obviously following her passion and dreams. She became a photographer at an age that, today, in age obsessed 2009, may be viewed as 'too old' and at a time when many things, including photography, were considered only for men. I believe it is never too late to do what you want to be or do, what you are drawn to be or do. You are much more than your age, your gender, your weight, your situation. By birthright we are all a part of the energy of creativity and beauty just because of our existence. Just because we are. Isn't that a good enough reason to do what we love?

Tailender exercise

EFT shortcut diagram

Negative or Honest?

Many people ask the question “Why do we affirm the negative in EFT?” Affirming our truth and being emotionally true to how we really feel is a statement of honesty not a statement of negativity. Every part of us knows we feel this way so pretending otherwise is entirely futile and does us no favours whatsoever. This is resistance in action. Saying no to how we feel creates resistance. Saying yes to how we feel creates flow.

There is enormous power in stating the truth of how we feel and what we believe to be true. The important point to emphasise here is that it is emotionally true for us. It may not appear logical or rational but that is beside the point. Stating a truth or truths we do not like has the exact effect on our energy systems that we are looking to correct with EFT. The emotional truth that we don't like, are terrified of or just don't want to acknowledge or admit, disrupts our energy system in such a way that it creates a short circuit in the flow of our energy. The natural flow of our energy is diverted or becomes blocked and starts to stagnate. It has no means to exit in the natural way. Tuning in to how we honestly feel is so important and makes EFT extremely effective. EFT is designed to correct and dissolve these short circuits in our energy or electrical system.

This above all: to thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.

~ William Shakespeare

Depression/Pressing Down

When you press your emotions and feelings down, deny them, stuff them, repress them, and consequently do not express them, there is a build up of unexpressed energy. All that energy has to go somewhere and if it can't express itself and exit in the natural way, it starts to press down on your life force and vitality. One of the most common reasons people do not express their feelings is that they are afraid, it is not safe to feel certain feelings and/or express those feelings. Staying safe is a primal need that cannot be overemphasised.

Blocking and stunting our natural expression depresses our life energy. Eventually this will manifest in the physical realm. We become more and more sluggish, daily tasks are more of an effort and slog, our movements slow down as does our thinking. We start to feel overwhelmed and anxious because there is no room for any more of anything. We become more and more afraid of everything. This is the time when hopefully we will reach out for help. Many people break down before they will ask or seek the help they need. Very often a breakdown can be a breakthrough, it's an opportunity to see what does not work and respond differently.

The thyroid gland is affected by depression. The thyroid is found in the throat so it is no accident that when the expression of our voice or feelings is depressed in any way that this gland's function is affected. Many people with depression have below par thyroid function which can often go unnoticed by allopathic medicine because it may not fit the blood test parameters of a hypothyroid diagnosis (underactive thyroid). Some symptoms of an underactive thyroid gland include fatigue, dry skin, cold hands and feet, sluggishness and weight gain. Extract below from Silvia Hartmann's book Adventures in EFT.

Gamut Spot
Connection; GS = Gamut Spot = Triple Warmer (Thyroid Meridian)
When blocked there is an inability to express emotions and love.
When tapped removes low self-esteem and opens us up to emotional
interaction with others.

Potential, Possibility and Power

If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear as it is - infinite ~ William Blake

Take your power back by seeing the potential and possibility inherent in every situation.

Potential: There comes that mysterious meeting in life when someone acknowledges who we are and what we can be, igniting the circuits of our highest potential ~ Rusty Berkus

Possibility: Birth is the sudden opening of a window, through which you look out upon a stupendous prospect. For what has happened? A miracle. You have exchanged nothing for the possibility of everything ~ William MacNeile Dixon

Power: Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power ~ Seneca

The need to fix your self

Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond the pain ~ Saint Bartholomew

Needing or wanting to fix our self usually comes from a core belief that we are broken or that there is something wrong with us. We want to run away as fast as possible from the feeling this belief creates. The more we run and avoid the feeling, the more the feeling chases us. It can seem like we are never going to “get rid of it”.

Why does it feel as if the feeling is chasing us? Because it has never been felt. It has not been felt because it was too painful, it was too much to cope with at the time and the necessary resources to feel that feeling were not there. So the feeling and experience remains suspended and frozen in time. Our bodies and minds will always look to regain equilibrium and one of the best ways to do that, is to feel that feeling. It can seem as if this feeling is following us around like a shadow, lurking in dark corners and that can scare us. But if we remember that the only reason it seems this way is because that feeling needs healing, it needs to be experienced, it can help us dissolve any fear we have about feeling the feeling. It may still be painful but we find the courage to feel it as we know this is where the solution lies.

Healing is not about fixing or “curing” anything. It is about remembering, or putting the pieces or members back together again, re-mem-ber. It's about being who you really are. The you that is underneath and covered by all the beliefs, all the thoughts, all the memories, all the events and all the emotions that you think define who you are. The thing is we identify with these beliefs. We believe we are these beliefs. We hold the false belief that what happens to us IS us.

Examine your beliefs and where they came from. Without evidence - events – we would not hold these beliefs. We can use EFT on the painful events and beliefs to dissolve them and to feel free.