Monday, February 16, 2015

Love is all we need

Hopefully we'll have started our journey in this life, wanted and loved. The research on the importance of love just keeps growing, as if we needed any reminding of it. We know full well the importance of being loved, how it feeds and nourishes us in every way possible. As Stephen Porges says in the video below "We are mammals. We cannot regulate ourself in isolation. Everything has to do with co-regulation".

This might be of some comfort to those who feel like "failures" because they just can't seem to get a handle on things by themselves. I don't think we're supposed to be able to do it all ourselves. That's why the relationships we have in our lives are so important. That doesn't mean that we can't be independent to a certain degree, or can't give ourselves some of what we need, but the fact is, as a species, we are interdependent. There's no shame in that whatsoever. In fact, I think embracing that fact, takes a lot of pressure off us. We don't do well when we're lonely or when our relationships are difficult or even non existent.

Love is all we need is a cliché, but it's true. It's absolutely true, none of us thrive without love. (Hopefully, we'll also have the necessities like clean water, food and shelter too though, love doesn't feed an empty stomach or a freezing body). But if you look at children who are on the street with their parents, it's a hell of a lot different to the children who are completely alone and vulnerable.

Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another ~ Thomas Merton, Love and Living

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