Acting out your feelings

Whenever we don't acknowledge or feel what we feel, we tend to act it out instead. And we might not even be aware of how we act out our feelings, but others usually are. There is an important distinction to be made between feeling an emotion and expressing an emotion. It might not be safe to express an emotion but we can still feel it and release the charge that that emotion holds. We do a huge service for ourselves by feeling our emotions. If you find it difficult to feel some emotions, you can use EFT to help you.

The emotions aren't always immediately subject to reason, but they are always immediately subject to action ~ William James

It is good to look after myself

A few weeks ago I read the following passage from Oriah Mountain Dreamer:

"Sometimes, saying a soul-felt "Yes!" to life, to making the choice to be fully alive, present in your life, body and heart is about knowing where to say, "No." This isn't always as easy or as clear as it sounds. Often life-draining beliefs, behaviour, roles and responsibilities were learned so young that they don't feel like a choice - they feel like just what is. Challenging this "reality" with new choices can stir up shame and anxiety. To keep making the choice for life, to keep saying "Yes!" to who and what we are and to what serves life requires great courage and a willingness to keep breathing and walking more deeply into our own lives".

And it was exactly what I needed to read at the time. I thought to myself that looking after ourselves is so important, because if we don't, it's hard to look after others in a healthy way because we'll feel resentful and will most probably be "helping" for the wrong reasons. Oftentimes saying No to others is saying Yes, a big Yes, to ourselves. It's a bit like when you're on a plane and the steward tells you to put on your own oxygen mask before you put it on your child for example, it might sound counter intuitive, but if you can't breathe, how will you take care of who you need to take care of?

Here are some statements that you could say out loud and tap on if they resonate, watch out for any tailenders (objections):

It is good to look after myself


I am selfish if I look after myself


It is good to put myself first (you can add qualifiers like "sometimes", "once in a while" and see if they feel more comfortable)


It is selfish to put myself first


It is okay to say no to others


It is okay to say yes to myself (even if that means saying no to others)

Triple warmer stress reduction technique

This is a wonderful technique from Donna Eden for calming the triple warmer meridian (thyroid meridian and also known as the gamut spot in EFT) and is very easy to do.

Questioning yourself

Do you question and second guess yourself a lot? It can be exhausting can't it? The reasons we question ourselves incessantly can be many, but not having had our needs recognised, validated and fulfilled are probably at the top of the list, so whenever they arise we question them and ourselves for having those needs.

Questioning ourself over and over again can be a sign of a lack of self esteem, self acceptance and self trust click on the links for tapping scripts you can tap along to.

As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live ~ Goethe

Even though I don't know why

Sometimes we don't know, at least consciously, why we feel the way we do, why we have an issue, why we can't lose weight, why we procrastinate and that's exactly what we tap on, whatever is there.

Even though I don't know why (I can't lose weight, I have this "..."), I accept myself anyway

Top of the head: I don't know why I have this ...
Eyebrow: I could guess
Side of the eye: And my guess would be ...
Under the eye: But maybe I'm wrong
Under the nose: And maybe I'm right
Under the chin: I can acknowledge whatever it is
Collar Bone: Is there
Under the arm: I know because I feel it (I have it etc)

Top of the head: There is some reason I feel this way (have this ..., can't lose this weight etc)
Eyebrow: And I don't know what that is
Side of the eye: Maybe I don't need to consciously know
Under the eye: Because my unconscious knows
Under the nose: And if I acknowledge its presence
Under the chin: And accept its presence
Collar bone: I might find some relief
Under the arm: Instead of having to fight it and the reasons why it is there

Top of the head: Some part of me knows why
Eyebrow: I can acknowledge that
Side of the eye: And that feels ...
Under the eye: I can acknowledge how that feels
Under the nose: I am acknowledging its presence in my life
Under the chin: For whatever reason
Collar bone: And that feels ...
Under the arm: And that's ok

Continue tapping until you find relief and movement, trust what comes up and if you still don't know the reason, or reasons, acknowledge the presence of whatever it is in your life even if you find it difficult to accept. You can always tap on the reasons you find it hard to accept whatever it is.