Don't distract yourself

I know this is easier said than done. But the more we distract ourselves from painful emotions and experiences, the more residue they leave in our systems. That residue accumulates, one experience after the other, on and on, ad infinitum, until we end up with overflowing systems that generate symptoms.

One of the most powerful things we can do is to learn how to be with difficult emotions and their resulting physical sensations. This is called self-regulation in psychological jargon.

It really is a life changer because it allows us to experience, digest and metabolise painful emotions and experiences without them building up and becoming painful symptoms. Feeling pain frees us from that pain.

They say we teach what we most need to learn and this is certainly true in my case. I needed to learn how to be with painful emotions and experiences without running from them, so I know the value of it in my life.  And I also know the price I pay when I don’t do it.

When you feel really upset about something, try and find a quiet place as soon as you can and feel what you’re feeling. It will calm down after a while, just wait and see. Tap for the courage to help you through this, do not tap to get rid of it, that just won’t work. Though of course you can tap on the feeling of wanting to get rid of it, that’s being honest with yourself, but there’s a subtle difference between the two.

You know that feeling of resistance that builds up inside your body when you approach something painful? It prevents you from feeling the pain yes, but it also prevents resolution of whatever caused the pain. So the pain just gets postponed for another day. It does not go away. Feel your pain, but go slowly and gently.