I can receive

Many of us have issues with being able to receive due to not feeling deserving or worthy. How easy and comfortable it is for us to receive love, a compliment, acceptance, happiness, money or gifts tells us a lot about how we feel about ourself.

Say the following sentence out loud:

I can receive ... or It is easy/comfortable for me to receive ... (love, happiness, acceptance etc).

How true is it on a scale of 0 to 10? 10 being true and 0 not being true at all. When did you first feel that it was not okay to receive love? or gifts, or acceptance? Are there walls of defense around you to keep things that don't feel safe to receive away? But at the same time you crave them? Write your memories, feelings and any conflicts down and start tapping on them.

Gracious acceptance is an art - an art which most never bother to cultivate. We think that we have to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting things, which can be much harder than giving.... Accepting another person's gift is allowing him to express his feelings for you ~ Alexander McCall Smith

Brené Brown: Listening to shame

Unmet needs

What are your unmet needs? You mightn't have ever asked yourself that question. But if you think about what you struggle with, being accepted, being loved, being heard, that will lead you to the answers. Try tapping on the following set up statements and see what comes up.

Even though I needed ... but never got ... I accept that need

Even though I need ... and it still hasn't been met, and that makes me feel ... I love and accept myself

Even though this need (needs) makes me feel ... I accept how I feel

We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death ~ Leo Buscaglia 

Being present

I am following the 21 day meditation challenge by the Chopra centre and last week one of the meditations was on healing the heart. The four needs of the heart are: attention, affection, appreciation and acceptance.

The order of these needs is important because without attention I don't think the others can follow. Being present with ourself or others is essentially paying attention. Leonard Jacobson wrote a lovely piece on substitute needs and talked about presence as our true need. Paying attention, particularly when we're in pain or because it feels really difficult not to want to run away, is loving ourself. Try these set up statements and tap on whatever feels right:

Even though it's hard to pay attention when ... I completely accept my reasons

Even though I can't stay present with ... it is completely ok

Even though I want to run away from ... I completely accept myself anyway