Feeling and expressing an emotion

It's amazing how often we can feel we're not allowed or don't have permission to feel or express certain emotions. There is a difference between feeling an emotion and expressing an emotion. No one else but you has to know what you're feeling. When you allow yourself to feel, you can choose whether or not to express that feeling to another person. It is so important for our health that we feel all of our emotions, but the reality is most of us have a “bad” and “good” list. We can reach conclusions that because certain emotions are unacceptable/not allowed/not permissible that there is something wrong with us for having them, feeling them or expressing them.

Rate the truth of the following sentences from 0 to 10, 10 being true and 0 being not true at all. Write down all that comes up, particularly the emotions, memories and people that have a strong emotional charge and start tapping.

I am allowed to feel ... (why?)

I am allowed to express ... (why?)

I am not allowed to feel ... (why?)

I am not allowed to express ... (why?)

I have permission ... to feel (who do you have permission from?)

I have permission ... to express (who do you have permission from?)

I don't have permission to feel ... (who do you not have permission from?)

I don't have permission to express ... (who do you not have permission from?)

I give myself permission to feel ...

I give myself permission to express ...

The emotion that is the easiest for me to feel is ...

The emotion that is the easiest for me to express is ...

The emotion(s) that is most difficult for me to feel is ...

The emotion that is most difficult for me to express is ...

Men are no more immune from emotions than women; we think women are more emotional because the culture lets them give free vent to certain feelings, "feminine" ones, that is, no anger please, but it's okay to turn on the waterworks ~ Una Stannard

Using EFT for wanting to get rid of something

At the heart of personality is the need to feel a sense of being lovable without having to qualify for that acceptance ~ Paul Tournier

Using EFT for depression

But are not this struggle and even the mistakes one may make better, and do they not develop us more, than if we kept systematically away from emotions? ~ Vincent Van Gogh

Pain relief world summit

Sign up for this free event, starting October 3rd http://painreliefworldsummit.com/ There's a great line up of practitioners including EFT masters Carol Look and Rue Hass.

The body's sensations

When the energy of an emotion moves through our body, felt as physical sensations, we are feeling or processing that emotion.

What happens when we don't feel an emotion for whatever reason? It becomes stuck and frozen in our bodies.

An accumulation of unfelt emotion is often experienced in the body as uncomfortable physical sensations or physical pain. Physical pain, if not resolved, can become serious disease. Acknowledging physical discomfort in our body is one of the first steps towards feeling our emotions. Our body affects our mind just as our mind affects our body. Tap on what is happening in your body right now. Examples could be:

My gut tightens whenever I feel ....

My gut feels fit to burst when ...

I get a lump in my throat when I think of ...

My head throbs when I remember ...

I feel sick to my stomach when I feel ...

My heart aches when I think of ...

I feel inflamed when I remember ...

My jaws clench when I feel ...

I start to sweat when I remember ...

I can't sleep and toss and turn when ...

I feel out of control when my throat closes in ...

I feel helpless when ...

I feel enraged when ...

My body wants to collapse when ...

I feel dread in my stomach when ...

Feel

If we don't feel, we don't fully experience life. Irish psychiatrist, Ivor Browne, defines trauma as unexperienced experience. When we feel, we can experience, digest and integrate all that happens in life, especially the more difficult and uncomfortable experiences. Feeling all of your feelings is one of the most powerful and important things you can do for yourself.

Using EFT to dissolve trauma

Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone ~ Fred Rogers

The evolution of thoughts

Thoughts don't change anything unless they feel true. If you state a thought that you don't believe, you won't sense/feel it in your body and there will be no energetic charge. It will fall off you like water off a duck's back.

If you say “I'm a horrible person” and that thought/belief feels true, and you are muscle tested, the muscle being tested will remain strong, meaning your body is saying Yes to this belief, it senses and feels this as a truth. If you say “My name is Ann” when it is in fact Sarah, this won't feel true for you and your muscle will test weak.

The thought or belief would have no validity or influence without the sensation and feeling in the body that it is true.

What gives rise to a thought/belief such as “I am a horrible person”? Life events. Events in which we felt bad about our self. Initially this belief could have started out very early in life, as physical sensations, it might have felt like a sharp jab in our stomach. If the sensation becomes too overwhelming, we won't/can't feel it which creates a short circuit in our energy system. The sensation and later, the attached emotional charge become stuck. To make some sort of sense out of what is happening and to feel in some way safe and in control, we'll arrive at conclusions. If we need the person who is hurting us, we can't hold them responsible, so we'll come to the conclusion that we are to blame. There must be something wrong with us, for this to be happening, otherwise it does not make sense. Hence the belief “I'm a horrible person”.

Thoughts and beliefs affect and shape us when we sense and feel they are true. Positive affirmations won't work if they don't feel true. We need to address the underlying sensations, emotions and feelings that give rise to these thoughts and beliefs, not the other way around.