Tapping on grief

If going through grief weren't bad enough, we often find that the people in our lives just can't handle it. Many of us just weren't taught how to feel difficult emotions, so it is hard to be with ourselves and others when we or they are going through something difficult.

This can make grief not just heart breaking, but very isolating. It's important to reach out to others who can just listen and be with you. Watch this video by Megan Devine on this very subject.

It's tempting to rush towards a reframe or something "positive" when tapping, but when you're grieving, you need to stay where you are and move through it slowly. Karla McLaren has a lovely piece on grief in her book, The Language of Emotions and has talked about the importance of grief rituals. Megan Devine's book, It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand is an excellent read too.

Try tapping on the phrases below, customise them to suit you:

Even though this grief feels like it's going to swallow me whole, I accept how difficult this is for me right now

Even though I just can't feel this grief, it's just too much, I completely accept how I feel right now

Even though I don't think I'll ever be able to move through this grief, I love and accept myself anyway

Top of head: This grief
Eyebrow: It's too much
Side of eye: I can't feel it
Under eye: It's going to swallow me whole
Under nose: It's so difficult right now
Under chin: This grief feels …
Collar bone: I've no choice but to go slowly
Under the arm: And that's more than ok

Top of head: No one understands
Eyebrow: And that feels … (lonely, frightening, frustrating, isolating etc)
Side of eye: I could do with some support
Under eye: I didn't know how difficult it would be
Under nose: I feel alone in my grief
Under chin: I just want someone to sit with me
Collar bone; They don't have to change or fix anything
Under arm: I want the comfort of having someone understand

Top of head: And not try and talk me out of how I'm feeling
Eyebrow: Or try and make me feel better because they can't handle my grief
Side of eye: My grief is too much for others too
Under eye: I need to be as kind to myself as I can possibly be
Under nose: I need to take this moment by moment
Under chin: I can't think any further than that
Collar bone: And that's ok
Under arm: It'll have to be because it's how I truly feel

Continue to tap for as long as you need to, there is no time limit for grief.