Making sense of your life

Making sense of your life is not about what you’ve been through but how you make sense of it, which I think is a really hopeful message. Even if you had a horrific upbringing, you can still make sense of it and be who you truly are, not what your conditioning taught you to be.

Dr Daniel Siegel calls making sense of your life a ‘coherent narrative’ and uses the Adult Attachment Interview to help his clients figure this out.

You can’t make sense of your life if you haven’t looked at how you’ve lived, what has influenced you, why you do, think and feel the way you do. You can’t make sense of your life if you live in denial and avoidance. You can’t make sense of your life by disowning and dissociating from what’s painful even though it’s totally understandable that you do that.

Life calls you to make sense of your life; to digest, metabolise and experience all of your experiences so they can fall into their right place and you can be the person you are meant to be.

When you can't accept something

When you can’t accept something, be honest about it. At least you won’t have the pressure of lying about how you feel which is exhausting.

Tapping on the truth of how you feel is what will get you results. You don’t need to dress up how you feel before you tap, just let rip on your honest feelings and watch how things shift. If you think you’re being negative, then tap on that first.

Balos beach, Crete, Greece

I hope the following phrases help you, remember to customise them to suit your feelings and situation.

Even though I think I’m being negative by telling the truth, I completely accept how I feel

Even though I don’t accept how I feel, I accept the truth of that

Even though I can’t be with this feeling, I accept how I feel

Even though I’m afraid that this will never end because no matter what I do it doesn’t go away, I accept how frustrated I feel

Even though I brace against these body sensations because they feel so awful, I can’t help myself, it’s a knee jerk reaction, maybe I can feel 10 seconds of them

Even though I’m just so exhausted fighting, struggling, trying to get better and it seems the harder I try, the worse I feel, I love and accept myself anyway

Even though I can’t find any compassion and kindness for these feelings and sensations right now, that’s ok

Even though I don’t see any way out of this … I choose to remain open, what have I got to lose?

Even though if I say it out loud or even admit to it silently, I feel it makes it more true, I accept how I feel