Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Putting the cart before the horse

When people talk about forgiving before they, or you, are ready, it's like putting the cart before the horse. There's a lot of talk about forgiveness in the spiritual movement but it can be yet another way to bypass how you really feel. Don't fake it if you don't really feel it. As my husband says lies have short legs, it doesn't work long term to lie either to yourself or others.

If you can't bring yourself to forgive, you'll end up feeling frustrated, guilty, ashamed and a lot of other things. You can't forgive until you process all of your hurts. You won't even need to forgive I think, because you'll be at a place of peace within yourself and you'll come to an acceptance of what happened or what is happening. That doesn't mean you like what happened or think that it is ok, and you have every right to feel that way, but it won't bother you any more when you have dissolved all the emotional charges. See EFT short cut here.

You couldn't relive your life, skipping the awful parts, without losing what made it worthwhile. You had to accept it as a whole--like the world, or the person you loved ~ Stuart O'Nan


Huldr said...

I couldn't agree with more with what you're saying here. There's so much talk of forgiveness and also of gratitude, and to be honest these 'spiritual' concepts have added greatly to the shame and self-blame I already had. If anything, I think we should focus on forgiving ourselves first.

Thank you for writing this blog, I feel validated and empowered whenever I read it :)

Noreen Barron said...

I'm glad :-) I think embodying our humanity and and embracing all of our feelings (especially the so called negatives ones) are some of the most spiritual things we can do!