I feel threatened by ...

When we internalise a threat, trauma nearly always results. You might not call it being traumatised, you might call it stress, but no matter what you call it, you are going to be in either flight/fight or freeze mode when your sense of this threat is triggered. This can really take its toll on our physical and psychological health. Our experience of feeling/being threatened can worsen over time if the threat cannot be defused.

Try filling in the blank in the sentence below. Keep going until you feel you have written down everything you feel threatened by and start tapping on the one that holds the biggest charge for you right now. Go through your list at your own pace.

I feel threatened by ...

I think the thumb print on the throat of many people is childhood trauma that goes unprocessed and unrecognised ~ Tom Hooper

When you've had enough

If you've reached the end of your tether, you might not feel like tapping, you might not feel like doing anything, you're that browned off and exhausted. But if you can bring yourself to tap, see if the following helps.

Even though I'm absolutely exhausted and feel like I can't go on anymore, I accept how I feel

Even though it's really difficult to accept these feelings and I know I'm not supposed to resist them but they're too bloody painful! I accept how I feel about them

Even though I've had enough, I'm done, through (whatever else describes how you feel), I accept that too

Top of the head: I'm totally exhausted
Eyebrow: By everything
Side of the eye: Nothing ever seems to work for me
Under the eye: And that makes me feel ...
Under the nose: I've hardly any energy left
Under the mouth/chin: I don't know why I'm even tapping
Collar bone: It never works for me
Under the arm: Nothing ever does (note the beliefs that surface when you're really stressed, this is how you truly feel and it's great material for tapping on)

Top of the head: I'm pissed off
Eyebrow: I'm totally pissed off
Side of the eye: I'm not pretending anymore
Under the eye: It's exhausting to pretend
Under the nose: Everything is okay
Under the mouth/chin: When it's not
Collar bone: I feel ...
Under the arm: And that feels ...

Top of the head: I can let myself off the hook (watch out for tailenders/objections)
Eyebrow: And do something that doesn't take so much effort
Side of the eye: Like going for a walk
Under the eye: To clear my mind
Under the nose: And breathe
Under the mouth/chin: I feel ...
Collar bone: And that feels ...
Under the arm: I choose to let off steam more often

Top of the head: So I don't get so overwhelmed
Eyebrow: I choose to heed the signs that stress is building
Side of the eye: And do something about it, however small
Under the eye: I deserve that (any tailenders/objections?)
Under the nose: I give myself permission to take a break from everything and everyone
Under the mouth/chin: I feel ...
Collar bone: And that feels ...
Under the arm: I acknowledge and honour how I feel

I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years ~ Tina Fey

The heart of the matter

Anxiety, stress and trauma are closely linked to the heart. Have you ever heard of a couple who have been married for years, one dies and the other soon follows? I heard a very sad story a few weeks ago. A 45 year old woman died of cancer and a few weeks later her husband had a heart attack and also died.

The word trauma means wound in Greek, and that's what being traumatised really means; to be hurt or wounded. That's why for me there is no such thing as a small or big trauma, you either feel traumatised or you don't, feeling traumatised can only ever be truly 'measured' subjectively.

Silvia Hartmann has really great exercises for anxiety and stress that utilise the power of the heart and Bellruth Naparstek has a really excellent guided visualisation for healing trauma that helps us explore our broken hearts. It might sound cheesy or corny, but think of it. A little child whose parent has betrayed their goodness and innocence, is that not akin to having had their hearts broken?

Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us ~ David Richo