A culture of bullying in Ireland

This is a subject I am really passionate about. Unfortunately, there is a strong culture of bullying in Ireland. This is true for both children and adults. I have heard so many stories of children being bullied in school and when parents try to do something about it, they are bullied into keeping quiet and not rocking the boat. I have been bullied many times in my life, both as a child and adult.

When Aja Teehan took a case to the high court in order to secure the right to be individually assessed for the right to have a home birth, what did the Irish government do? They sought costs against her saying there was no issue of public interest in the case she had brought. Is this a bad joke? The right for a woman to make a decision on where and how she gives birth is not a matter of public interest??

In addition, the Irish state has recently urged the high court to seek costs against TD Joan Collins. She courageously, and behalf of all people living in Ireland, questioned the legality of the promissory notes for Anglo Irish Bank at a cost of 31 billion euro to the Irish state. In my view, by seeking costs in these cases, the Irish state is sending out a message to try and frighten people into not questioning the system. Bully boy tactics, plain and simple. The message is don't stand up for your rights, don't question the system or try to better it or make it more honest, equitable and accountable. Accept the fact that billions of our money has gone into bailing out banks and bondholders while our rights to autonomy are being trampled on, while our pay is cut again and again, while taxes and charges rise or are newly invented, while gas and electricity costs become prohibitive for the average family in mortgage arrears. It is an absolute disgrace what is happening in Ireland today.

Why don't Irish people stand up and say no to all the cuts, tax hikes, extra charges, jobs being lost, the scandals with various different organisations and on and on and on? The Irish government, by their own actions, do not have the best interests of people living in Ireland at heart.

I'm interested in why we put up with it. Why are we so obedient? Why is it so difficult for Irish people to stand up for themselves? It is most definitely a cultural issue and it can be changed. What are we really afraid of? What is the worst that can happen? These are the sort of questions that we need to ask ourselves when we come up against these challenges. We can tap for the strength and the courage to do what we know is right. Making a decision out of fear doesn't serve us in the long run. Taking back your power is one of the most healing things you can do. I believe it is essential, both as individuals, and collectively, it is the only way we can really change things, for the better.

The many ways of being specific

If you are specific when using EFT you'll see results faster than if you tap globally. However, many times there are no specific details to recall because we were too young and the memory is implicit rather than explicit. Or maybe we didn't experience the event fully because we dissociated from it as it was too painful so the details are hazy. However, we know what we know, or more aptly, we feel what we feel, our body never lies.

My recent thesis discussed the link between tonic immobility, dissociation and trauma. Tonic immobility (more commonly known as the freeze response) is somatoform dissociation while peritraumatic dissociation is psychoform dissociation. Just as we can't separate the mind from the body, my hypothesis is that we cannot separate tonic immobility from peritraumatic dissociation, they are one and the same phenomenon. And their parent, so to speak, is dissociation.

This is why being specific when we tap can take different forms. If you are suffering from chronic physical issues for example, you can tap on how they show up in your body. And you can be really specific about how it shows up in your body and how the symptoms change, worsen or get better depending on how you feel, external circumstances and so on. For example, you can say: Even though the pain in my right top shoulder is dull, red and throbbing and it makes me feel totally and utterly frustrated and … I accept myself anyway. Tapping on how you feel about any physical pain also helps you be really specific as it is very difficult not to have an emotional response to pain.

Tapping on our body's symptoms is very powerful and is another way to be really specific. Our bodies really do speak our minds, and listening to and tapping on any symptoms can lead us to their cause.

There is a force within that gives you life 

Seek that. 

In your body there lies a priceless jewel 

Seek that. 

Oh, wandering Sufi, 

If you are in search of the greatest treasure, 

Don't look outside, 

Look within, and seek that. 

 ~ Rumi

A part of me

The importance of saying "a part of me" was impressed upon me after reading The Good Psychologist by Noam Schpancer (a great book, well worth reading). We tend to say "I feel angry" or "I feel anxious". Meaning that the whole of us is feeling this way. While it certainly might feel like this, the truth is, if you can observe yourself feeling a certain way, who is the part of you that is able to observe the anxiety, anger or whatever it is? Does that part feel the same way?

I think being precise in what we mean and using language that reflects that is very powerful. When we say "a part of me feels anxious", the anxiety doesn't feel so overwhelming or insurmountable. Saying "a part of me" instead of "the whole of me" (as in I feel ...) gives us much needed hope that we are not consumed by difficult emotions and experiences. The part of us that is able to witness and observe is the part that can help us to heal by showing us that we have a way out of hurt and trauma.

The next time you tap, try saying "a part of me" and see what happens!

Divide each difficulty into as many parts as is feasible and necessary to resolve it ~

René Descartes

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The beginning is always today ~ Mary Shelley