Love and belonging

The absence of love, belonging, and connection always lead to suffering - Brené Brown

The limits of talk

This is an excellent article by Mary Sykes Wylie on why Bessel van der Kolk thinks it's essential to include the body in talk therapy for trauma. She writes:

For more than 20 years, Bessel van der Kolk has been in the forefront of research in the psychobiology of trauma and in the quest for more effective treatments. Now he’s touched off an intense debate about the role of scientific evidence in finding ways to alleviate suffering and the future of the traditional talking cure itself ...

Bessel van der Kolk likes to introduce his workshops on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) with medical film clips from World War I showing veterans diagnosed with what was then called "shell shock." In these dramatic and riveting clips, one soldier sits hunched over on his hospital cot, staring blankly ahead, responding to nothing and nobody until the single word "bomb" is said, whereupon he dives for cover underneath the small bed. Another man lies almost naked on the bare floor, his back rigidly arched, his arms and hands clawing the air as he tries, spasmodically and without success, to clamber onto his side and stand up. Yet another, who once bayoneted an enemy in the face, now opens his mouth wide into a gaping yaw and then closes it, and opens it and closes it, over and over and over again.

The images are disturbing, heartbreaking, and all the stranger because these particular men, technically speaking, are physically unharmed. Their physical symptoms--paralysis, violent trembling, spasmodic movements, repetitive facial grimaces, zombielike demeanor--look exotic to our eyes because PTSD generally doesn't show up like this anymore in most clinicians' offices. Time and Western cultural evolution have changed the way traumatized people express their distress in a therapist's office. Now, trauma patients may look fine on the surface, but complain of nightmares, flashbacks, feelings of numbness, generalized fearfulness, dissociative symptoms, and other problems that aren't as visible to the world at large. But to van der Kolk, these old images still represent what he calls the "pure form" of PTSD. The appearance in these World War I film clips that the veterans are possessed, mind and body, by invisible demons still captures the fundamental truth about PTSD--that it can reduce its victims to mute, almost animal-like, creatures, utterly isolated in their fear and horror from the human community. Read on

Is the world a friendly place?

Einstein asked this question saying that it is probably the most important question we can ask ourself. It's not as simple as that though, it's both friendly and unfriendly. What really matters is how we feel in the world.

Do we feel safe or not? Do we feel safe in our world, do we feel safe in our own body, which is our world? Stephen Porges says "safety is the body's response to the environment". This sense of safety goes way back, right back to our time in the womb. Safety is one of the biggest and most important issues we can tap on as it underlies so any issues. If we don't feel safe, we won't feel friendly towards ourself or anyone else, not in a true sense. When we feel safe we can trust, we can open up and protect ourself at the same time.

Try tapping on:

My body is the safest/friendliest place for me to be

and see what comes up ...