Feel the way you feel ...

Trust your own instincts. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else's ~ Billy Wilder

If there is one thing I've learned in life, it's to trust my instincts. If I make a mistake, so what? I can start again, apologise or change direction. I can let myself off the hook.

Trusting how you feel is also part of trusting your instincts because you feel your instincts. Don't allow your self or anyone else to talk you out of how you feel. You feel the way you feel and allowing your self to feel whatever it is will help you in ways you can't imagine.

Try saying “My intention is to allow myself to feel ..” and tap on all the points as you say it. If you can't identify the feeling or there are many feelings, where is that energy showing up in your body? How do you know you have that feeling or feelings? Be as descriptive as possible when you're tapping and talk about how you're feeling as you're tapping. Have a conversation with your self. Keep going until the emotional charge lessens and the feeling is flowing smoothly through your system. This might take more than one go, but if you find some relief you'll feel encouraged enough to keep going, knowing it's helping you.

Each time you allow the energy of a feeling to move through you, with the help of tapping, or any other technique you find useful, you get better and better at feeling ALL of your your emotions. And your ability to release the emotional charge on feelings that feel uncomfortable or overwhelming will grow too. You'll find that it gets easier and easier each time you allow your self to feel whatever it is. There is no right or wrong here, there's just allowing. EFT shortcut diagram and procedure

I learned to be with myself rather than avoiding myself with limiting habits; I started to be aware of my feelings more, rather than numb them ~ Judith Wright

Tim Douglas

Tim your kindness echoes endlessly ... thank you and I love you.

Freezing on the spot

When we freeze it can feel like we're helpless to say or do anything to help our self. Many of us can feel like we were weak for having frozen and it can be really hard to accept that we didn't do or say anything to help our self. We may feel that we could have prevented whatever from happening if only we had fought back or been able to escape.

It is crucial to know that the freeze response is involuntary, you do not have any voluntary control over it. Depending on the threat that your system detects, it will decide whether to freeze or not. Your ability to physically move or call out will be prevented so that no more harm (for example, death) will come to you. Therefore your ability to fight back or put up a struggle is not under your control. It is crucial for anyone dealing with sexual abuse (among other abuses and neglect) to be trauma-informed so that the victim is not blamed. It is also important to note that we will freeze according to our stage of development and any resources available to us, therefore the younger we are, the bigger our propensity to freeze.

The ability to freeze an experience is a great survival mechanism that serves us really well in situations where we don't have the resources to deal with it in that moment. As Ivor Browne states ~ Whenever we are faced with an overwhelming experience that we sense as potentially disintegrating, we have the ability to suspend it and "freeze" it in an unassimilated, inchoate form and maintain it in that state indefinitely, or for as long as necessary.

Top of head: I froze
Eyebrow: I should have fought back
Side of eye: It's all my fault
Under eye: I'm weak
Under nose: I felt helpless
Under chin: And powerless
Collar bone: To do anything
Under arm: And I can't accept myself for having done nothing

Top of head: I should have done something!!
Eyebrow: But I froze
Side of eye: I wanted to survive
Under eye: I was weak
Under nose: At least it felt that way
Under chin: Why didn't I do something?!
Collar bone: I could have prevented ...
Under arm: It's really hard to accept that I did nothing

Top of head: I did my best
Eyebrow: What??
Side of eye: No I didn't
Under eye: Yes, I did
Under nose: I could have done more
Under chin: I wish I had done more
Collar bone: I wish I had spoken up
Under arm: For myself

Top of head: I accept myself anyway
Eyebrow: I really did do the best I could at the time
Side of eye: I really did
Under eye: My need to survive was strong
Under nose: Stronger than the urge to fight or run
Under chin: And that's ok
Collar bone: That doesn't make me weak
Under arm: It makes me strong

Our strength grows out of our weaknesses ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

The great illusion

Article from The Irish Times, Tuesday, October 12th, 2010:

According to Prof Ivor Browne, treatment of mental illness can not – and should not – be undertaken without the effort of the patient, and the power of change and recovery being firmly placed in their hands

THE WORLD is a sea of troubles and we have to adapt to these as best we can. People use all kinds of ways to manage. Some are better than others, while some are counterproductive and land us in difficulty. Mental illness is seen as a disease caused by either a disturbance in our biochemistry or by genetic influences – but this is a myth.

This view of mental illness arises from a reductionist scientific concept, where the disturbance of the whole person is seen as caused by something wrong with the parts. It’s derived historically from Galileo’s statement that, to make scientific progress, we must concentrate on things we can measure. But this is only half the story and it breaks down when applied to living creatures such as ourselves.

When a new whole emerges, this is a completely new reality, quite distinct from the parts that make it up. It’s not explainable by simply analysing the parts. Once the new reality, for example of a person, emerges, the causal direction reverses. The new whole takes control over its parts – thus we have to take control of our behaviour, cells and biochemistry, and not the other way around.

This is why, in dealing with emotional problems, there is no therapy the psychiatrist or therapist can apply to the person to bring about real change. The person has to do the work of changing themselves, with the support and guidance of a therapist.

This concept of “self-organisation” is synonymous with what it is to be alive. Anything that diminishes our state of self-organisation lessens our control over and management of our health and will be a step towards sickness.

Because of the mechanistic attitudes that have accompanied advances in science and technology, the western mind has fallen prey to the illusion that there is a remedy for every ill; we expect to be able to avail of these without any effort or suffering on our part.

When a person comes to a doctor or therapist with symptoms that indicate depression or anxiety, they expect the doctor to do something to relieve them.

Certainly doctors can relieve symptoms, but without the natural healing power of the body and a functioning immune system, medicine and doctors are largely helpless.

In dealing with psychiatric illness, there is no treatment you can apply to a person that will bring about real change in them. The person has to undertake the work himself and this involves pain and suffering. Read on

*Article Unexperienced experience by Ivor Browne

Free EFT resources

Emotions are celebrated and repressed, analysed and medicated, adored and ignored - but rarely, if ever, are they honoured ~ Karla McLaren

25 EFT tapping scripts on allowing your feelings, anger, trust, letting go, feeling stuck and lots more.
Audios ~ listen and tap along (to download right click on a PC or control click on a Mac):
Anxiety
Overwhelm
Pain
Sinus issues
Diagram and procedure of EFT Short Cut
Diagram and procedure of EFT Full Basic Recipe
Tips on getting the best from EFT
21 questions to help you find core issues and beliefs
The EmoTrance Primer

Emotions are movements in the energy body ~ Silvia Hartmann