Relentlessly trying to fix yourself

Are you trying to fix yourself all the time? It’s one thing to want to feel better and another to think/believe that you’re broken, damaged, bad, good for nothing or a waste of space.

Who are we trying to fix ourself for? What do we think will happen once we’re ‘fixed’? Why can’t these things happen now, warts and all?

It’s amazing the different ways perfectionism can show up. I believe perfectionism is born from not being accepted and loved for who we are, just because we exist, so we set out on a journey to ‘prove’ we’re lovable and acceptable. Except that rarely happens, what does happen most of the time is that we end up sick and exhausted.

How does the need to be perfect show up for you? You might not even realise that perfectionism is an issue for you, but if you hate to be criticised, feel inadequate in some way, often feel shame when others disagree with you or don’t like you, the need to be perfect might be behind it.

Try tapping on the following phrases and repeat whatever feels right for you on the tapping points.

Even though I have /need to be perfect (because … for … etc), I accept this need to be perfect

Even though I’m trying to fix myself because … and that feels … I accept how I feel at this moment in time

Even though there is a drive in me to be/do better (how much of the time?), what would happen if I relaxed that drive a bit?

Even though it’s not safe to stop trying to be perfect because … I accept that’s one of the ways I’ve protected myself up until now

Even though … could happen if I don’t do things perfectly, how would I feel if that did happen? And what might it remind me of?