Saturday, December 21, 2013


I don't think many of us are neutral in how we feel about Christmas, it can bring up all sorts of memories and feelings. I was listening to an Irish psychotherapist on television giving advice to people having issues with their family, with Christmas coming they were feeling worse about any issues or conflicts. What struck me most is the difficulty that many of us have in being honest, with ourselves and with others. And even if we are honest with ourselves, it is not always possible to share that honesty with others, for lots of different reasons. Christmas has a way of either reminding us how connected and loved we feel, or how lonely and diconnected we feel.

However, I do believe that none of us are successful in hiding how we truly feel, it usually comes out in various different ways, not the least of which can be snide, mean and unkind comments or actions (even if we feel justified). By coincidence I came across this quote by the great Alice Miller: If it is very difficult for you to criticise your friend [or family], you are safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that is the time to hold your tongue.

Anything that reminds us of how we truly feel is an opportunity to get clear and heal. It is in times of stress that how we truly feel about ourselves and others comes to the fore. If a belief makes you feel bad, horrible, unlovable or unacceptable, consider the possibility that you do not have to believe this belief, even if you have had it your whole life. Just because it is a deeply entrenched belief does not make it the truth, it makes it your truth, or what you have believed to be true, which you can change.

I wish everyone a peaceful and joyful Christmas and New Year, hope it's your best year yet!

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