Giving something permission to stay

If you decide to give an issue/problem permission to stay, you'll probably feel a lot of resistance to doing that. The reaction most will have is to fear that they will never get rid of the issue if they do that. We mistakenly think resisting the issue will help us to get rid of it! Paradoxically, giving something or someone permission to be there, dissolves our resistance and helps us to become clear. From a position of clarity we are much more effective in finding and seeing the solution. Tapping diagram.

Even though I have this ... I give it permission to stay

Even though this fills me with fear, I choose to do it anyway (tap on the fear or any emotion that comes up)

Even though it feels like I'm giving in to ... I KNOW from experience resisting this issue isn't working so I'm going to try a new approach

You cannot remedy anything by condemning it

~ Wayne Dyer The Power of Intention

Intention: Aware and Awake

The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself ~ Henry Miller

EFT tapping script for losing weight

There are many reasons we can put on weight; eating too much, unhealthy foods, eating for comfort/emotional reasons, underactive thyroid gland and so on. In this post, we'll address some of the emotional contributors. Are you carrying extra emotional weight? Do you feel weighed down? Does it feel safe to be slim? What do you need to be protected from?

Try using EFT the following set up statements, please modify them to suit you and your unique situation. Repeat as many rounds as you need to. Tapping diagram and Twenty questions to help you find core issues and beliefs. Try tapping continuously on the stomach meridian (under the eye point) for emotional hunger and cravings and the thyroid meridian (triple warmer or gamut spot) when feeling depleted, weighed down or hopeless.

Even though I need to feel full, I accept that need

Even though I need to feel full so I don't feel … I accept my need not to feel …

Even though I crave … I love and accept myself

Even though I feel bored, I accept how I feel

Even though I feel weighed down by … I completely accept how I feel

Even though I'm carrying … I love myself

Even though this weight protects me from … I accept my need to be protected

Even though it doesn't feel safe to be slim, I honour my body for keeping me safe anyway it can

Even though I hate the fact that I'm fat, I accept that's how I feel right now

Even though I eat when … I'm doing the best I can

TH It feels good to eat

EB I like feeling full

SE It's comforting

UE I feel calm

UN But I hate feeling fat

UC I don't like how it feels

CB Or how it looks

UA I'm not happy

TH I feel anxious

EB Eating comforts me

SE I don't feel so bad when I'm full

UE I crave ...

UN And eating fills that craving

UC At least for a while

CB And then I feel awful

UA When I look in the mirror

TH It doesn't feel safe to be slim

EB Too much attention

SE I can't handle it

UE This extra weight …

UN I feel … about this extra weight

UC I want to feel …

CB That doesn't feel like it's within my reach

UA Right now

TH Maybe there's a deeper reason for this extra weight

EB What purpose does it serve?

SE No purpose!

UE I just feel fat!!

UN And ugly!

UC And horrible!

CB And full!

UA I don't feel like my self

TH I feel weighed down

EB By ...

SE It depletes my energy

UE What do I do?

UN Just feel it

UC And stop resisting

CB And tap

UA And tap

TH I accept my needs

EB I trust my self

SE I trust my feelings

UE I choose to look at how I feel

UN And I choose to feel those feelings

UC I choose clarity

CB I choose clarity

UA I am okay

Dr Robert Scaer on Brain State Technologies and Trauma

Being sensitive

Have you ever been called too sensitive, too nervous, too highly strung, too many feelings, too deep, too analytical, too, too, too …?! While being sensitive has its advantages, it's also difficult being “too” sensitive. Sometimes we feel like we feel too much and we'd like to be able to switch our self off sometimes!

I switch off when I become aware and silent. In Italian, the word for sensitive is “sensibile”, which means 'to be aware of'. Being aware of others, our self, nature, music, beauty, art, being kind to our self and others, treating others as we would like to be treated is being sensitive. Being sensitive does not mean fixing everyone, being responsible for everything and everyone, absorbing others' energies, feeling depleted, feeling bad, feeling overwhelmed, feeling too much of everything and anything!

I think everyone has the capacity to be sensitive, it is a sign of emotional health to be aware of you, others and what is around you. My belief is that being highly sensitive, as it is generally understood, is, in fact, an overloaded and overwhelmed nervous system. Common signs of being considered highly sensitive are hypervigilance, anxiety, nervousness, digestive problems, restlessness, sleeplessness, anger/rage etcetera. These signs are strong indicators, not of being sensitive, but of undischarged traumatic imprints on the nervous system. Energy that the nervous system generates to deal with threat to the organism's survival, and, for whatever reason, is not able to release and discharge, becomes frozen. It is incomplete, undigested or unexperienced as Ivor Browne says. It is this frozen energy or imprint that causes these symptoms and that gives rise to people being called highly sensitive.

Image taken from Peter Levine's website: http://www.traumahealing.com/images/pptSlide01.gif

Many highly sensitive people suffer from chronic conditions like IBS, CFS, depression, anxiety, autoimmune conditions and so on because of these repressed or unconscious imprints on the nervous system. Trauma expert, Dr Robert Scaer calls these, “dis-eases of the freeze response”. A dis-ease means a lack of ease. One of the most defining characteristics of being termed highly sensitive is a lack of ease. There is a nervous energy that always seems to be humming away in the background, and which can, very easily, be triggered into a 'bigger' response. There are no reserves or what is termed resilience in the nervous system. It's all just too much and the person often feels overwhelmed by what others can usually take in their stride.

Highly sensitive people can be considered “weak” “soft” “pathetic” and “cry babies”. They are often shamed and criticised for their “over the top” responses, so they swallow and stuff many, if not all, of their needs, experiences, feelings, thoughts to keep “it all in” and contained, so as not to feel so overwhelmed or criticised by others. So, an already overloaded nervous system becomes more overwhelmed and eventually this excess undischarged energy may manifest, and usually does, as there is nowhere else for the energy to go, in dis-ease. EFT helps this frozen energy soften and move so it can be discharged from the overwhelmed nervous system. Tapping diagram.

Using EFT with patterns

Each child is an adventure into a better life - an opportunity to change the old pattern and make it new ~ Hubert H. Humphrey

Try this script for anything that keeps showing up in your life. We repeat patterns, or re-enact them to resolve them, but what often happens is they don't get resolved and the repetition of certain events and feelings make us even more sure that they are 'true'. What we need are the proper resources and skills to dissolve patterns that no longer work, and we can learn how. Customise this script to your unique situation and how you feel. Tapping diagram.

Even though this ... keeps coming up, I accept how I feel

Even though I keep repeating ... maybe this pattern has a message for me

Even though I'm sick of being on this merry go round and can't seem to get off, I still accept and love myself anyway

TH I want to heal
EB I'm willing to heal
SE This pattern
UE It keeps repeating
UN And I don't know why
UC Sometimes it feels like it's there to ...
CB And that feels ...
UA I want ...

TH I'm so tired of ...
EB It won't go away
SE I'm resisting it
UE I have to
UN Because ...
UC Why is it here?
CB To punish me?
UA To prove I'm bad?

TH Maybe not
EB Maybe I'm repeating this pattern for another reason
SE To find resolution
UE For what needs to be resolved
UN Because it still hurts
UC And it needs healing
CB Maybe that's why it keeps repeating
UA How can I bring healing to this?

TH By feeling my pain
EB And not avoiding it
SE Or denying its existence
UE To become quiet
UN And pay attention
UC To what needs healing
CB To what needs resolving
UA That feels good

A Child's True Needs by Alice Miller

Excerpt taken from The Drama of Being a Child: The Search for the True Self ~ Alice Miller.

1. The child has a primary need from the very beginning of her life to be regarded and respected as the person she really is at any given time.

2. When we speak here of 'the person she really is at any given time,' we mean emotions, sensations, and their expression from the first day onward.

3. In an atmosphere of respect and tolerance for her feelings, the child, in the phase of separation, will be able to give up symbiosis with the mother and accomplish the steps toward individuation and autonomy.

4. If they are to furnish these prerequisites for the healthy development of their child, the parents themselves ought to have grown up in such an atmosphere. If they did, they will be able to assure the child the protection and well-being she needs to develop trust.

5. Parents who did not experience this climate as children are themselves deprived; throughout their lives they will continue to look for what their own parents could not give them at the appropriate time - the presence of a person who is completely aware of them and takes them seriously.

6. This search, of course, can never fully succeed, since it relates to a situation that belongs irrevocably to the past, namely to the time right after birth and during early childhood.

7. A person with this unsatisfied and unconscious (because repressed) need will nevertheless be compelled to attempt its gratification through substitute means, as long as she ignores her repressed life history.

8. The most efficacious objects for substitute gratification are a parent's own children. The newborn baby or small child is completely dependent on his parents, and since their caring is essential for his existence, he does all he can to avoid losing them. From the very first day onward, he will muster all his resources to this end, like a small plant that turns toward the sun in order to survive.

The Philosophy of Positive Health ~ Dr John Diamond

Excerpt from holistic psychiatrist Dr John Diamond's website.

Five of the primary tenets upon which Dr. Diamond’s approach to positive health are:

1. The critical importance of the reduction of stress and the balancing of the concomitant emotional attitudes. Disease is seen as arising from stress that causes a general reduction in Life Energy and specific energy imbalances throughout the body.

2. The essential role of primary prevention — prevention before pathological change, either mental or physical. At this early stage the energy imbalances may be described as fluid or dynamic and readily amenable to correction. If the stress is prevented, if the mental attitudes are changed, then primary prevention will be possible.

3. The individual's responsibility for taking charge of his own health and his own way through life. In this context the role of the so-called doctor is that of teacher — to explain and to help the individual to see exactly what he is doing to lower his own healing energies. The individual has superimposed maladaptive behavioral patterns upon himself which have pulled him away from his natural, "normal" state, and he must recognize and alter them.

4. That great healing forces exist within us and in nature to enable repair to occur once the stress is reduced and the negative attitudes are corrected. It is recognized that natural methods are essential since unnatural methods often diminish Life Energy. While these unnatural methods may provide symptomatic relief, they ultimately lower the Life Energy, retard the true healing process, and ignore the stress and the attitudinal problems that are at the base of the disease patterns.

5. That most problems begin at an energy level. The first physical manifestation of imbalance within the body is at an energy level and corrections can be made at this level. On top of this are the metabolic, environmental, structural and nutritional problems that also require attention.

When a man is perfect in his own nature, body, and soul, perfect in his harmonious adaptations and action, and living in perfect harmony with nature, with his fellow-man and with God, he may be said to be in a state of Health. The broad philosophy of Life Energy enhancement includes as a goal the achievement of positive health. To assist in achieving this, one is taught the insights and understandings and the methods of preventive medicine, including nutrition, psychological insights, bioharmonics, and psychoaesthetics. Psychoaesthetics is a field of work in which Dr. Diamond has developed techniques for assessing the effects of works of art, poetry, music, architecture, craftsmanship, body movement and dance, gesture and posture on the physical, mental and emotional functioning of the individual. In addition, there are techniques for stress reduction via the aesthetic experience.