Energy and Intention

Feeling heard

2012-01-30T11:39:00.000Z

It is really important to me to feel heard and to hear others. I think it is one of the most important factors in any relationship, including the relationship we have with ourself, we often don't hear what we're feeling. I came across this really lovely article by Carl Rogers that I really related to and wanted to share it here. Excerpted from www.listeningway.com

Experiences in Communicationby Carl Rogers
In my own two-way communication with others there have been experiences that have made me feel pleased and warm and good and satisfied. There have been other experiences that to some extent at the time, and even more so afterward, have made me feel dissatisfied and displeased and more distant and less contented with myself. I would like to convey some of these things. Another way of putting this is that some of my experiences in communicating with others have made me feel expanded, larger, enriched, and have accelerated my own growth. Very often in these experiences I feel that the other person has had similar reactions and that he too has been enriched, that his development and his functioning have moved forward. Then there have been other occasions in which the growth or development of each of us has been diminished or stopped or even reversed. I am sure it will be clear in what I have to say that I would prefer my experiences in communication to have a growth-promoting effect, both on me and on the other, and that I should like to avoid those communication experiences in which both I and the other person feel diminished.
The first simple feeling I want to share with you is my enjoyment when I can really hear someone. I think perhaps this has been a long-standing characteristic of mine. I can remember this in my early grammar school days. A child would ask the teacher a question and the teacher would give a perfectly good answer to a completely different question. A feeling of pain and distress would always strike me. My reaction was, "But you didn't hear him!" I felt a sort of childish despair at the lack of communication which was (and is) so common.

I believe I know why it is satisfying to me to hear someone. When I can really hear someone, it puts me in touch with him; it enriches my life. It is through hearing people that I have learned all that I know about individuals, about personality, about interpersonal relationships.

There is another peculiar satisfaction in really hearing someone: It is like listening to the music of the spheres, because beyond the immediate message of the person, no matter what that might be, there is the universal. Hidden in all of the personal communications which I really hear there seem to be orderly psychological laws, aspects of the same order we find in the universe as a whole. So there is both the satisfaction of hearing this person and also the satisfaction of feeling one's self in touch with what is universally true. Read on

Using EFT with dreams

2012-01-23T11:30:00.000Z

I have found what's most important if you want to use EFT with your dreams, is to work with how you feel when you dream. We can spend a lot of time interpreting dreams and everyone's interpretation will be different, but a feeling is a feeling and can be recognised for what it is. You'll probably find the same patterns will show up in your dreams that you're finding in your life, the details will be more fantastic, but how you feel will most likely be the same.

The Wisdom of The Dream ~ Carl Jung

Using EFT for chronic issues

2012-01-16T09:35:00.004Z

One of the emotions that can often accompany chronic issues is a feeling of frustration, a feeling that nothing you have done so far has worked. You might even feel helpless. It is important when you're tapping to talk about how you feel and how the pain feels, you will find it will shift, or move around your body, more easily. Most importantly, chronic pain is a signpost to something deeper, look for the messages and metaphors in what it is trying to communicate to you. Tapping diagram and procedure

Even though I have this chronic ... it is there, maybe for a reason

Even though I don't know what that reason is or the pain would have gone away by now, I accept my not knowing

Even though it's hard to accept not knowing, I really wish I knew what was causing this chronic ... I accept my frustration (helplessness/any other emotions)

Top of the head: This ...
Eyebrow: It feels ...
Side of the eye: And that feels ...
Under the eye: And that feels ...
Under the nose: I can accept how I feel about that
Under the chin: I wish I knew how to make it go away
Collar bone: Because it's still here
Under the arm: And that makes me feel ...

Top of the head: I've tried everything
Eyebrow: Absolutely everything
Side of the eye: And that feels ...
Under the eye: And it hasn't worked
Under the nose: And that makes me feel ...
Under the chin: I can't stand this chronic ...
Collar bone: I haven't tried accepting it
Under the arm: Because I can't

Top of the head: It might stay forever
Eyebrow: If I allow it to stay
Side of the eye: And that feels ...
Under the eye: So I have to do my best
Under the nose: To make it go away
Under the chin: I accept how I feel about that
Collar bone: It's ok to feel at the end of my tether
Under the arm: It's ok to feel ...

Top of the head: I choose to accept how I feel about all of it
Eyebrow: Even though it is hard
Side of the eye: To feel some of those feelings
Under the eye: And that feels ...
Under the nose: I'm tired
Under the chin: So tired
Collar bone: And that makes me feel ...
Under the arm: I accept how I feel about that

The Precarious Present

2012-01-09T08:49:00.000Z

This is an excellent article by Robert Scaer excerpted from Psychotherapy Networker.

The Precarious Present

Why is it So Hard to Stay in the Moment?

By Robert Scaer

"I just can't seem to stop my mind," Linda told me. "I try to relax, but after a few moments, my brain starts to buzz again with a jumble of thoughts and feelings. I can't seem to turn them off." As she spoke to me during our second visit, she was visibly distressed. She had the pinched face and hunched shoulders of someone who felt at once threatened and helpless.

"Lots of times, it's the same old thing, just the same old negative thoughts and worries and blaming myself," Linda went on. "Sometimes I try to head them off by going out for a run, but they come back later. When they really get ahold of me, I get kind of shaky, dizzy, and sick to my stomach. If they go on long enough, I actually get a stiff neck, and eventually a headache."

A client's negative, intrusive thoughts are a therapist's stock and trade. Ditto the accompanying roster of bodily complaints, from stomach pains and neck tightness to headaches and back problems. In my 20 years as medical director of a multidisciplinary chronic-pain program, I've found these body-mind intrusions to be a sort of generic marker for significant emotional disorders, including depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and adjustment disorder.

But if Linda's distress seems familiar, it isn't just because we see this kind of client so frequently in our offices. It's also because her complaint rings true for "healthy" people like ourselves. All of us ruminate, bringing up the cud of old memories and unresolved problems, in the process experiencing a sinking feeling in the stomach or perhaps a tightening in the throat. As we well know, these experiences usually arise unbidden and often at inopportune times, such as when we're reading a book, eating a meal, or even, God forbid, making love! And when we're interrupted in this way, we basically lose it: we forget why we went into the bedroom, we lose track of our place in the book, and, if the intrusion is upsetting enough, we may even lose the wherewithal to continue with what's going on right now. We've experienced that most insidious of insults to our mind--the corruption of the present moment by emotion-linked memory. Read on

New year's resolutions

2012-01-02T11:21:00.000Z

When push comes to shove, we usually only do what we want to do. If you want to lose weight and find yourself reaching for a chocolate bar, or many chocolate bars, what you want in that moment becomes more important than what you want in the long term. What you probably want in that moment is comfort and to feel good. Whatever makes you feel good you will reach for, we all want to feel good, none of us want to feel empty, lonely, or sad. Instead of sitting with painful emotions and feeling them because it often doesn't feel good, we'll sedate them with food, alcohol, drugs, TV, computers, you name it ....

Remind yourself that what you really, really, really want is to feel good, and maybe the 5 seconds it takes for you to remember this will be enough to make a different choice.

Happy New Year Everyone!

2011-12-30T17:15:00.000Z

Safe trauma recovery with Babette Rothschild

2011-12-19T11:11:00.001Z

Feelings of betrayal

2011-12-12T19:26:00.001Z

Each betrayal begins with trust ~ Phish

We can often feel betrayed by different things in life. Try this tapping script if you have ever felt betrayed. EFT short cut diagram and procedure.

Even though I feel betrayed by ... (for example, my mother, my father, my body, myself) I accept myself anyway

Even though it really hurts to be betrayed, I accept my hurt

Even though being betrayed by ... feels ... it's ok to feel that way

Top of the head: It's hard to trust ...

Eyebrow: I feel betrayed

Side of eye: By ...

Under the eye: It's hard to take

Under the nose: It makes me feel ...

Under the chin: I want to protect myself

Collar bone: From this hurt

Under the arm: I want to close myself off

Top of the head: From being hurt

Eyebrow: I'd like to shut down

Side of eye: My feelings

Under the eye: Of betrayal

Under the nose: So I don't feel hurt

Under the chin: Or the pain

Collar bone: Of being betrayed

Under the arm: I'd like

Top of the head: To not feel this hurt

Eyebrow: I accept how I feel

Side of eye: I'm not going to fight how I feel

Under the eye: I feel the way I feel

Under the nose: Even though I don't want to feel this way

Under the chin: I do

Collar bone: And that's ok

Under the arm: Well, it's not really but I feel this way anyway

Continue tapping until you find relief, be specific about how you feel betrayed, you may have many memories to tap on. Stay with it and be persistent.

We have to distrust each other. It is our only defence against betrayal ~ Tennessee Williams

Using EFT for self acceptance

2011-12-05T10:33:00.003Z

Safety

2011-11-28T12:14:00.001Z

Safety is the body's response to the environment ~ Stephen Porges

This is an excellent interview with psychiatrist Stephen Porges. It illustrates how important the body and its messages are for healing and feeling safe.

http://SomaticPerspectives.com/2011/11/porges/

Tapping script for feeling safe

Safety isn't expensive, it's priceless ~ Author Unknown

Everybody Hurts by Arthur Janov

2011-11-21T17:48:00.001Z

Article by Dr Arthur Janov.

When I watch TV it seems like every commercial is about some kind of pain killer: Tylenol, ibuprofen, pills for stomach distress, headaches, high blood pressure and on and on. The best kept secret is that we are nearly all in pain but nobody says it; the emperor is really naked but we all are looking the other way; we are looking outward instead of inward. The distress is caused by this or that in the environment, we think, but never what is inside. That is obvious since few of us can look inside.   

We are all hurting but in different ways; the hurt goes to where we are most vulnerable. That is the health crisis that no one speaks its name. So why is that? Because no one can see it! It was installed so early and so subtly, long before we had conscious-awareness, that it doesn’t even have a name. So I give it a name: Primal Pain. And a location: the imprint: and the chemical means: methylation. But what we may not be aware of is that its one of the leading causes of death among us, more so than deaths in traffic accidents, according to a recent study. Some of us are in so much agony that we take far too much medication and threaten our lives. We use Xanax, Vicodin, Fentanyl, Demerol, Oxycontin and Soma; we are treating the wrong thing, and that is why we do not get relief. We treat the symptom and not the person; we treat appearances and not generating sources. That gap I call the Janovian Gap. It is between origins and our conscious awareness of them. So long as Primal Pain exists it will militate toward wherever it can. Worse, sometimes we have both headaches and back aches so we take pain killers for both and again risk an overdose. The medication normally will not kill us but when we take more and more it will. Read on

Honour your experience

2011-11-14T12:12:00.000Z

One of the greatest moments in anybody's developing experience is when he no longer tries to hide from himself but determines to get acquainted with himself as he really is ~ Norman Vincent Peale

Person Centred Therapy ~ Carl Rogers

2011-11-07T11:33:00.000Z

Using EFT for chronic fatigue syndrome

2011-10-31T12:24:00.000Z

Dr Robert Scaer calls syndromes such as chronic fatigue dis-eases of the freeze response. Please customise these phrases to how you feel and to suit your own unique situation. EFT short cut diagram.

Even though I feel ... I deeply and profoundly accept myself

Even though I am so tired, I accept myself

Even though I am too tired to .... I accept myself anyway

Top of the head: I'm exhausted

Eyebrow: I want to sleep

Side of the eye: I want to hide

Under the eye: From ...

Under the nose: I am so tired

Under the chin: Of ...

Collar bone: It's all too much

Under the arm: That's the way I feel

Top of the head: Everything is such an effort

Eyebrow: I have no energy

Side of the eye: To ...

Under the eye: And that makes me feel ...

Under the nose: It's really difficult to feel this way

Under the chin: About myself

Collar bone: About others

Under the arm: About life

Top of the head: It feels too ...

Eyebrow: I'd like a break from this exhaustion

Side of the eye: This tiredness feels ...

Under the eye: The alternative to this tiredness would be ... ?

Under the nose: And that feels ...

Under the chin: I don't know how I feel about that

Collar bone: Am I ready to let this go?

Under the arm: Even a little?

Top of the head: What's making me feel so tired?

Eyebrow: When did I start feeling this way?

Side of the eye: What's sapping my energy?

Under the eye: Where is my energy gone?

Under the nose: What's holding my energy down?

Under the chin: What am I holding down?

Collar bone: My energy feels ...

Under the arm: I feel ...

As she had been walking from the ward to that room, she had felt such pure hatred that now she had no more rancor left in her heart. She had finally allowed her negative feelings to surface, feelings that had been repressed for years in her soul. She had actually FELT them, and they were no longer necessary, they could leave ~ Paulo Coelho, Veronika Decides to Die

Going around and around

2011-10-24T12:37:00.000+01:00

When we feel trapped in a closed loop the consequences can feel awful. We are trying our hardest to find our way out but all we seem able to do is go around in circles repeating the same things over and over again. There seems to be no way out of the vicious cycle and that can feel hopeless.

When people are referred to as an “angry” person or a “fearful” person, what they are probably experiencing is feeling caught in this closed loop. They are acting out their emotions for some relief. I don't believe labels like this are helpful at all because they just do not get to the core of the issue. I believe we need to look beyond the surface behaviour to truly hear and understand what is really happening and actually do something constructive about it.

Peter Levine describes a 9 step method called pendulation for transforming trauma which you can find here. EFT can help you feel the frightening emotions and sensations associated with the immobility response so you do not become overwhelmed and stay frozen in a continuous helpless loop.

Some favourite quotations ...

2011-10-17T13:58:00.003+01:00

Using EFT for OCD

2011-10-10T10:39:00.001+01:00

Why do we perform rituals? Sometimes to celebrate, to soothe and comfort or to honour something or someone, the reasons are varied. Obsessive compulsive anxiety dis-orders such as OCD also have ritualistic elements. Take someone who washes their hands all the time, what do they gain from these repeated actions? I would say, a sense of safety, routine, comfort, security, some sense of control, and many other things that will be unique and meaningful for them.

OCD is a symptom, or a collection of symptoms, mostly due to unfelt pain. Unfelt pain often manifests as anxiety and one of the most common sources of anxiety is an attachment dis-order. If we don't bond early on with our mothers/caregivers we won't feel safe, comforted, loved and secure. In the experiment below, we can see the powerful effects that a strong attachment can provide.

It's very important to honour the defenses or rituals someone has created for themselves in order to feel safe and comforted. Shaming and criticising doesn't work, it often drives the person deeper into anxiety and shame which then needs to be relieved in whatever way they have found works for them. See if any tailenders (objections in the form of emotions, beliefs, thoughts, memories, sensations) come up when you say the following:

I honour my need to feel comforted

I honour how I meeting my unmet needs

I accept my need to repeat ... to feel safe

I choose to feel kindness for my need for (name the need, or needs, that you feel most strongly right now)

My behaviours/rituals make me feel ...

Doing ... makes me feel very safe and that feels good

Ritual is the passage way of the soul into the Infinite ~ Algernon Blackwood

Being in your body and aspects

2011-10-03T10:36:00.000+01:00

One of the most important (and common) reasons that EFT does not work is because of unresolved aspects. Aspects can be anything; a smell, a look, the taste or texture of something, a physical sensation, a feeling. If you have been working for a long time on a particular issue and certain aspects are just not “going away”, you might not be fully living in your body.

We need to be in our body to feel, taste, touch or smell. If we are dissociated in any way we are not in our bodies. We can't successfully address and dissolve certain aspects and bring the emotional charge to 0, if we are not embodied. If an issue is left at 2, 3, 4 or more on the SUDs scale it's like an open wound that hasn't closed or healed properly and the chance of reoccurrence is high. The body is where we are able to feel difficult, uncomfortable and even terrifying emotions and sensations, and it's for those very reasons that we dissociate from our body. James Joyce puts it so well in Ulysses when he writes “Mr Duffy lived a short distance from his body”.

Does anything come up when you say the following statements, preferably out loud? Tap on anything that might come up.

I am comfortable in my own skin

I can feel any emotion without being overwhelmed (this not does not have to be true 100% of the time, it's human to feel overwhelmed sometimes, but when it's your normal response to certain emotions, you know that that emotion needs healing)

I can stay with difficult sensations in my body without being overwhelmed

I can stay present in difficulty without avoiding, distracting, burying, denying or suppressing how I feel

I feel ... about my body (be as truthful as you can be here, if you find you don't want to admit something, that is EXACTLY what you should tap on)

Don't explain your philosophy, embody it ~ Epictetus

Feeling and expressing an emotion

2011-09-26T14:45:00.002+01:00

It's amazing how often we can feel we're not allowed or don't have permission to feel or express certain emotions. There is a difference between feeling an emotion and expressing an emotion. No one else but you has to know what you're feeling. When you allow yourself to feel, you can choose whether or not to express that feeling to another person. It is so important for our health that we feel all of our emotions, but the reality is most of us have a “bad” and “good” list. We can reach conclusions that because certain emotions are unacceptable/not allowed/not permissible that there is something wrong with us for having them, feeling them or expressing them.

Rate the truth of the following sentences from 0 to 10, 10 being true and 0 being not true at all. Write down all that comes up, particularly the emotions, memories and people that have a strong emotional charge and start tapping.

I am allowed to feel ... (why?)

I am allowed to express ... (why?)

I am not allowed to feel ... (why?)

I am not allowed to express ... (why?)

I have permission ... to feel (who do you have permission from?)

I have permission ... to express (who do you have permission from?)

I don't have permission to feel ... (who do you not have permission from?)

I don't have permission to express ... (who do you not have permission from?)

I give myself permission to feel ...

I give myself permission to express ...

The emotion that is the easiest for me to feel is ...

The emotion that is the easiest for me to express is ...

The emotion(s) that is most difficult for me to feel is ...

The emotion that is most difficult for me to express is ...

Men are no more immune from emotions than women; we think women are more emotional because the culture lets them give free vent to certain feelings, "feminine" ones, that is, no anger please, but it's okay to turn on the waterworks ~ Una Stannard

Using EFT for wanting to get rid of something

2011-09-19T12:15:00.000+01:00

At the heart of personality is the need to feel a sense of being lovable without having to qualify for that acceptance ~ Paul Tournier

Using EFT for depression

2011-09-13T10:01:00.001+01:00

But are not this struggle and even the mistakes one may make better, and do they not develop us more, than if we kept systematically away from emotions? ~ Vincent Van Gogh

Pain relief world summit

2011-09-09T12:27:00.001+01:00

Sign up for this free event, starting October 3rd http://painreliefworldsummit.com/ There's a great line up of practitioners including EFT masters Carol Look and Rue Hass.

The body's sensations

2011-09-05T13:59:00.000+01:00

When the energy of an emotion moves through our body, felt as physical sensations, we are feeling or processing that emotion.

What happens when we don't feel an emotion for whatever reason? It becomes stuck and frozen in our bodies.

An accumulation of unfelt emotion is often experienced in the body as uncomfortable physical sensations or physical pain. Physical pain, if not resolved, can become serious disease. Acknowledging physical discomfort in our body is one of the first steps towards feeling our emotions. Our body affects our mind just as our mind affects our body. Tap on what is happening in your body right now. Examples could be:

My gut tightens whenever I feel ....

My gut feels fit to burst when ...

I get a lump in my throat when I think of ...

My head throbs when I remember ...

I feel sick to my stomach when I feel ...

My heart aches when I think of ...

I feel inflamed when I remember ...

My jaws clench when I feel ...

I start to sweat when I remember ...

I can't sleep and toss and turn when ...

I feel out of control when my throat closes in ...

I feel helpless when ...

I feel enraged when ...

My body wants to collapse when ...

I feel dread in my stomach when ...

Feel

2011-09-01T18:29:00.000+01:00

If we don't feel, we don't fully experience life. Irish psychiatrist, Ivor Browne, defines trauma as unexperienced experience. When we feel, we can experience, digest and integrate all that happens in life, especially the more difficult and uncomfortable experiences. Feeling all of your feelings is one of the most powerful and important things you can do for yourself.

Using EFT to dissolve trauma

2011-08-29T12:17:00.000+01:00

Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone ~ Fred Rogers

The evolution of thoughts

2011-08-22T13:09:00.000+01:00

Thoughts don't change anything unless they feel true. If you state a thought that you don't believe, you won't sense/feel it in your body and there will be no energetic charge. It will fall off you like water off a duck's back.

If you say “I'm a horrible person” and that thought/belief feels true, and you are muscle tested, the muscle being tested will remain strong, meaning your body is saying Yes to this belief, it senses and feels this as a truth. If you say “My name is Ann” when it is in fact Sarah, this won't feel true for you and your muscle will test weak.

The thought or belief would have no validity or influence without the sensation and feeling in the body that it is true.

What gives rise to a thought/belief such as “I am a horrible person”? Life events. Events in which we felt bad about our self. Initially this belief could have started out very early in life, as physical sensations, it might have felt like a sharp jab in our stomach. If the sensation becomes too overwhelming, we won't/can't feel it which creates a short circuit in our energy system. The sensation and later, the attached emotional charge become stuck. To make some sort of sense out of what is happening and to feel in some way safe and in control, we'll arrive at conclusions. If we need the person who is hurting us, we can't hold them responsible, so we'll come to the conclusion that we are to blame. There must be something wrong with us, for this to be happening, otherwise it does not make sense. Hence the belief “I'm a horrible person”.

Thoughts and beliefs affect and shape us when we sense and feel they are true. Positive affirmations won't work if they don't feel true. We need to address the underlying sensations, emotions and feelings that give rise to these thoughts and beliefs, not the other way around.

Stay with it

2011-08-19T12:20:00.002+01:00

Stay with how you feel as much as you can. Know from experience that the more you stay with painful feelings, and feel them, that they will transform. It will get easier! Go as gently and slowly as you need to.

Pendulation is about the innate organismic rhythm of contraction and expansion. It is, in other words, about getting unstuck by knowing (sensing from the inside), perhaps for the first time, that no matter how horrible one is feeling, those feelings can and will change. Without this (experienced) knowledge, a person in a state of “stuckness” does not want to inhabit his or her body ~ Peter Levine, In An Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness

EFT short cut diagram and procedure
Anxiety audio
Pain audio

*To download the audio files right click on a PC, control click on a Mac.

Embodying presence

2011-08-15T12:25:00.003+01:00

Being present is a practice that takes practice. I believe it is the most valuable practice we can have, because when we're present to ourself and others, we're showing love. Thich Nhat Hanh writes about the practice of mindful breathing to bring our mind and body together in his book, True Love. When you're breathing in say, “I know that I am breathing in” when you're breathing out, say, “I know that I am breathing out.” Constricted breathing technique

Our minds are often daydreaming or in a completely different place to our bodies. By practicing this simple exercise every day, as often as we can, we can bring our body and minds back together again. When we're in our bodies, or embodied and associated, we can feel, which is often the reason why we don't want to be in our bodies. It can feel too painful and we'll find numerous ways to distract our self. If we practice being present even for a few minutes every day, it gets easier and easier to be in our bodies. Very often when we suffer from anxiety and all the forms that anxiety takes, it is exactly because we can't stand to be in our bodies. We live in our heads where we try to control our thoughts so we don't feel so afraid and out of control. But thoughts will never change how we feel, only feeling can do that.

The capacity to self-regulate is another priceless benefit from practicing mindfulness and presence. Peter Levine writes, In An Unspoken Voice:

"In mammals, this capacity for self-regulation is essential. It endows the animal with the capability to make fluid shifts in internal bodily states to meet changes in the external environment. Animals with developed orbitofrontal systems have evolved the capacity to switch between different emotional states. This ability (known as affect regulation) allows animals to vary their emotions to appropriately match environmental demands. In humans, this highly evolved adaptive function, according to Schore and others, is the basis for the core sense of self. These same circuits in the orbitofrontal cortex receive inputs from the muscles, joints and viscera. The sensations that form the inner landscape of the body are mapped in the orbitofrontal portions of the brain. Hence, as we are able to change our body sensations, we change the highest function of our brains. Emotional regulation, our rudder through life, comes about through embodiment."

When we learn to be present with our self, we start to become friends with our sensations, emotions and feelings. We become less afraid of feeling uncomfortable and difficult sensations and emotions and as a direct result our resistance lessens. The amount of resistance is always in proportion to the amount of fear. Peter Levine calls this rocking back and forth between contraction and expansion, pendulation. He writes:

"I have named this shift from the feelings of dread, rage or whatever one likes to avoid toward “befriending” one's internal sensations pendulation, the intrinsic rhythm pulsing between the experienced polarities of contraction and expansion/openness."

Expanding ...

2011-08-08T11:39:00.002+01:00

If your everyday practice is to open to your emotions, to all the people you meet, to all the situations you encounter, without closing down, trusting that you can do that - then that will take you as far as you can go. And then you'll understand all the teachings that anyone has ever taught ~ Pema Chödrön

I have gotten to the stage where the meaning of letting go, vulnerability, powerlessness, helplessness and surrender feel the same for me. What they all amount to is an acceptance of how I'm feeling. Knowing you can enter and exit these difficult states by pendulating (see last week's post) will give you the courage to feel and even embrace difficult feelings. By experiencing pendulation we become less afraid and are able to dissolve any overwhelm, which so often keeps us trapped in the cycle of repetition and re-enactment. There is an important distinction between feeling an emotion, expressing (acting out) an emotion and wallowing in an emotion. When we don't fight and resist how we feel, we can move through the most uncomfortable and difficult emotions. It's not always easy, but it is necessary if we want to move forward. The following phrases are probably going to bring up a lot of great stuff to tap on. Take as long as you need to on each statement. EFT short cut diagram and procedure.

I can let go/accept

I can feel vulnerable

I can feel powerless

I can feel helpless

I can surrender

I am willing to let go/accept

I am willing to feel vulnerable

I am willing to feel powerless

I am willing to feel helpless

I am willing to surrender

It is safe to let go/accept

It is safe to feel vulnerable

It is safe to feel powerless

It is safe to feel helpless

It is safe to surrender

When things are shaky and nothing is working, we might realize that we are on the verge of something. We might realize that this is a very vulnerable and tender place, and that tenderness can go either way. We can shut down and feel resentful or we can touch in on that throbbing quality ~ Pema Chödrön

Pendulation

2011-08-01T11:03:00.003+01:00

I've been reading In An Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness, by Peter Levine. It is an excellent book. The lasting impression this book has made on me is one of hope. There is a way out of trauma and our own body has the innate capacity to transform it. What really got me excited about this book was how he described pendulation*. Pendulation “is about the innate organismic rhythm of contraction and expansion. It is, in other words, about getting unstuck by knowing (sensing from the inside), perhaps for the first time, that no matter how horrible one is feeling, those feelings can and will change. Without this (experienced) knowledge, a person in a state of “stuckness” does not want to inhabit his or her body.”

Therein, lies the hope and potential that trauma and its effects can and will change. We can find our way out of the (seemingly) never ending, cyclical, closed loop of repetition and re-enactment which inevitably leads to overwhelm and hopelessness. I have heard the same information in a million different ways, but it was the concept of pendulation that I really “got”. While reading about pendulation an image came to me of being on a swing, swinging back and forth between helplessness, dread, paralysis and rage and no matter how high I swung or how out of control I might feel, the swing eventually comes to a natural stop when we don't push, fight or resist it.

Entering immobility can feel excruciating, unbearably vulnerable, helpless and can fill us with the most awful dread. It can feel as if we're going to die if we allow ourself to enter this “collapsed” state. It's no wonder we avoid it and find ways to sedate the pain. Then, as we exit immobility, it can feel like we have an enormous volcano of rage inside. We're afraid of this powerful rage erupting, sometimes that fear can help dampen the rage, but other times we act on it, which can make us feel deep shame. Both entering and exiting immobility can feel like the proverbial black hole which could annihilate us if we were to go anywhere near it, so we stay away from these unbelievably difficult feelings. And we stay away and we stay away, until we can't any more. Our bodies and minds won't and can't carry any more pain and they start to buckle under the weight of trauma. Who actually wants to experience these feelings? None of us do. But that's exactly what we need to do. Peter Levine writes:

"Successful trauma therapy helps people resolve trauma symptoms. The feedback loop is broken by uncoupling fear from immobility. Effective therapy breaks, or depotentiates, this trauma-fear feedback loop by helping a person safely learn to “contain” his or her powerful sensations, emotions and impulses without becoming overwhelmed.

In the short run, the suppression of immobility sensations appears (to our denial-biased mind) to keep the paralysis and helplessness at bay. However, in time, it becomes apparent that evasive maneuvers are an abject failure. This “sweeping under the rug” not only prolongs the inevitable, it often makes the eventual encounter with immobility even more frightening. It is as if the mind recognizes the extent of our resistance and in response interprets it as further evidence of peril. If, on the other hand, one is able to utilize the vital assistance of titration [small doses] and pendulation, one can touch gently and briefly into that deathlike void without coming undone. Hence the immobility response can move ahead in time toward its natural conclusion, self-paced termination."

Uncoupling the fear from immobility is absolutely necessary because unless and until we do that, we will not enter immobility because it's too frightening and consequently the likelihood of being flooded, overwhelmed and even retraumatised is very high. We get tastes of what it's like when we're triggered, we'll feel some of the fear or dread, get scared and then feel rage that we can't escape our situation, which leads to hopelessness which can then descend into blaming and shaming our self for not being able to help our self. And so we push our pain down as much as possible, until the next time. It is the experience of pendulation, the rocking back and forth between contraction (fear, collapse, rage etc) and expansion (feeling empowered, calm etc) that gives us hope, and resiliency. It breaks the closed loop of feeling trapped and we can move forward. He writes:

"The shifting (between the fear/resistance and the unadulterated physical sensations of immobility) evokes one of the most important reconnections to the body's innate wisdom: the experience of pendulation, the body's natural restorative rhythm of contraction and expansion that tells us whatever is felt is time-limited ... that suffering will not last forever. Pendulation carries all living creatures through difficult sensations and emotions."

* He describes the same process in the brilliant Waking the Tiger, but does not call it pendulation.

It is the first purpose of hope to make hopelessness bearable ~ Robert Brault

Dr Gabrielle Rutten on chronic health issues

2011-07-25T15:42:00.001+01:00

Dr Gabrielle Rutten on using Emotional Freedom Techniques for unresolved stress and emotions, often the cause for chronic health issues. Personal peace procedure and EFT short cut diagram and procedure.

Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself ~ Marcus Tullio Cicero

Uncomfortable emotions

2011-07-18T20:50:00.000+01:00

Emotions have evolved over millions of years, we could never have survived without them. Emotions enable us to assess situations and people and act accordingly, acting as guides and maps for surviving and thriving. I believe our relationship with emotions in general could be healthier, particularly emotions widely considered to be “negative” such as fear, anger, rage or guilt. The only reason we refer to these emotions as “negative” is because we don't know how to feel them and as a result they feel uncomfortable.

When we're able to allow emotions, though they may feel very powerful and scary, to move through our bodies, we're fully feeling our emotions. It's when we half feel emotions that they become an issue, they get stuck and start short circuiting in our system. This can happen if we become frightened of the enormous power and energy that emotions such as fear and rage carry, energies that power us to deal with certain situations and people. We can freeze feeling these emotions if we are unable or unresourced to take any action. The resulting short circuit or incomplete response can then be triggered every time we feel the same emotion in the future. If not released and resolved these short circuits contribute to an increasing build up of stress, which puts enormous pressure on our whole system.

Another reason for labeling certain emotions as “negative” is early conditioning. Take anger as an example, many adults believe children don't have the right to feel, never mind express, anger. It is possibly one of the most derided emotions in our “civilised” society, but anger is a very normal and appropriate response when our sense of self is being threatened. If a child is abused, not listened to, not taken seriously or not respected, anger arises in an effort to re-establish and reset their personal boundaries. But if a person's sense of self worth has been eroded, they will have problems feeling and expressing anger when it arises to protect them, because they don't feel worthy of protection. If they do manage to feel or express some of their anger they can be shamed for having the audacity to assert their sense of self worth and personal boundaries. A parent who allows and encourages their child to feel and express their anger, cultivates the child's self worth and personal freedom to define what behaviour they will or will not accept from others. Problems with feeling and expressing anger are related at the deepest level to self worth.

Anger, when unfelt and unexpressed can lead to rage. Rage is an enormously powerful energy that alerts us to the fact that we have been severely wounded and need protection from further hurt. It really is a cry for help. It is very very difficult not to act out from unfelt emotions. Unfelt emotions such as rage carry a huge energetic charge that propels us to discharge it, and unless we know of healthy ways, we'll discharge the energy in any way we can, often hurting our self and others. We'll take whatever temporary relief we can get. A felt emotion does not carry the same charge, so emotions are not the problem, not feeling emotions is the problem. We need to remember that what we don't feel, we act out, not the other way round. Many of us need to heal our relationship with anger and let this beautiful protective emotion serve us.

Anger is one of the sinews of the soul ~ Thomas Fuller

Stay on one point

2011-07-15T10:28:00.000+01:00

Until you yawn, sigh, burp … whatever your sign is for releasing tension, keep tapping on one point until it happens. As in SLOW EFT start on the karate chop point or the sore spot and pick a word or phrase that describes how you feel, or a word that holds a charge for you about something or someone. Let's say for example that the phrase “it's hopeless” describes how you're feeling about a situation or person, start tapping at the karate chop point and keep saying “it's hopeless” until you release stress in your unique way. Then move on to the top of the head until you hear another sigh or yawn. Be aware that each time you sigh, yawn, burp, hear gurgling in your gut, feel jerks in your legs or arms, your nervous system is releasing tension. It feels good to know that your stress levels are coming down and your body is giving you very real convincing physical signs that stress is being discharged from your system. EFT short cut diagram and procedure.

Freedom to feel

2011-07-11T11:19:00.002+01:00

Emotional Freedom Techniques helps us process and feel uncomfortable emotions. As we learn to be comfortable with feeling our emotions, our capacity to allow any emotion move through our energy system grows. What this means in a practical way is we can process an emotion, no matter what it is, without having to dissociate from it or distract our self from feeling it. Feeling helps the emotion or energy move freely through our system so it doesn't short circuit. Emotional freedom is the freedom to feel any feeling, it doesn't mean freedom from feeling.

What causes a short circuit in our energy system? It seems that anything other than experiencing love and acceptance carries with it the potential for short circuiting our energy system. Love and acceptance feel good and flow through our system uninterrupted. Unless of course we are shut down to love because of being hurt or if we have not experienced love right from the beginning of life. Because if we can't allow our self to feel love, the experience of love can short circuit in our energy system. We can construct walls for protection, but the walls we build cut off this vital nourishment and our system atrophies. Love nourishes us in every way that we can be nourished.

Hurt, guilt, shame, anger, fear carry huge potential for short circuiting our systems, that is, until we learn how to feel or process these emotions. It's the reason why these emotions are often referred to as “negative” and why they can instil so much fear. This fear propels us with an urgency to tap the emotion away, get rid of it and avoid it so we don't have to feel it. When we can fully feel uncomfortable emotions, our resilience grows, we become stronger and our energy system evolves. All emotions are ultimately good for us when they are felt.

What helps us feel uncomfortable emotions? It appears that feeling loved right from the start of life gives us a head start in handling emotions. Feeling loved gives us resiliency, security and a strong foundation from which we can bend when the wind blows and not snap and break into pieces. When the having and the expression of different emotions are accepted and even encouraged, a sense of esteem and self worth blossoms. Feelings and the person who is having them, are taken seriously and respected which leads to self trust.

Learning how to feel our emotions as early as possible can save us from a lot of heartache later in life, but we can always choose to feel at any stage of our life. It takes courage to feel and EFT can help us accept, sit with and feel our emotions.

Connecting the dots

2011-07-05T14:07:00.000+01:00

In the theatre of the body, trauma can be transformed. The fragmented elements that perpetuate traumatic emotion and behaviour can be completed, integrated, and made whole again. Along with this wholeness comes a sense of mastery and resolution ~ Peter Levine, Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma: The Innate Capacity to Transform Overwhelming Experiences

If you have ever questioned how you feel, or if others have ever questioned how you feel, and as a result you have wondered whether you're imagining your feelings, dramatising them, maximising them, taking them too seriously, going around the twist, have completely lost the plot, have just not gotten over them and you feel you “should have” at this stage, or you feel the pressure of others thinking that you're a broken record, take a moment and listen to your body. Do you have any chronic health issues that have not responded to allopathic medical treatment?

Our body is a container, and its symptoms are windows into our unconscious, all we need do is look and listen. The next time you or another question the validity of your feelings, or you feel like beating your self up for where you are, listen to your body's symptoms, they never lie. You can always, always trust your body. Your body is showing you, in every way that it can, how to take your self and your feelings seriously. If you choose not to listen or don't hear, your symptoms will scream as loud as they have to until you do hear what they're saying.

The majority of us would agree that stress is one of the main causes of disease. Stress, or more specifically, undischarged stress, can cause havoc with our health, it can contribute to heart disease, strokes, inflammation, insulin resistance, depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue syndrome, the list goes on. The presence of chronic symptoms in our body is our evidence of a cause, evidence that we're not stark raving mad. And so often that cause is the early imprint of feeling unloved which puts extreme stress on our system from the beginning. The stress and pain of not being loved has to go somewhere and so often our body absorbs it because we just don't have the resources to feel that kind of pain when we are babies and children and we often lack the resources as adults as well.

When we are not loved and wanted, there's no safe haven where we can be our self, have our needs met or thrive, so, we do our best to adapt and survive, we contort our true self in order to try and get the love that we need. The operative word being “get”. This relentless search for getting love changes who we are, and it can be a long road back to our true self. If the trauma of feeling unloved remains undischarged, it causes absolute mayhem in our bodies and lives. Until we can fully connect to that pain, we will continue to re-enact the trauma and/or manifest its effects in our body in order to find resolution.

We seek not rest but transformation. We are dancing through each other as doorways ~ Marge Piercy

Compassionate presence

2011-06-27T18:13:00.000+01:00

Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals ~ Pema Chödrön

When we know what it is to feel our pain, we can feel compassion for another feeling their pain. We can't create a safe container for our self, or others, when we're afraid of pain. I once heard Jennifer McLean saying that “our body is the safest place to be”. When we're in emotional pain, our body can feel like the least safe place to be, because our emotions and sensations are felt and processed in the body. That's if we're associated with our body, feeling puts us in touch with our body and emotions which can feel unbearable, so we may dissociate and subsequently think and believe that feeling is an enemy to our peace of mind. So we avoid feeling.

Our willingness to feel our pain keeps us emotionally (and physically when there is no other cause) healthy. What we don't feel, we will act out. If we fear the emotions of others we know we have some work (i.e. feeling) to do with our own emotions.

What compassion translates to in a very practical way is being present with someone's feelings, all of their feelings. It isn't a multiple choice test where we get to tick off for others what the “good” or “bad” emotions they are feeling are. A vital ingredient of compassion is acceptance, so any discomfort we might feel about what someone else is feeling, shows us where we need healing. We might not have the same experience in common with someone, but we all have feelings in common. Most of us know what it's like to feel rage, frustration, sadness or delight. Nothing is more human than feeling our emotions and yet it can be so painful to do just that. We may need another person to create enough safety for us to be able to feel deep pain, someone who is present, willing to go there with us, doesn't try to fix it or reframe our feelings or situation too quickly before we feel heard.

For "full" emotional communication, one person needs to allow his state of mind to be influenced by that of the other ~ Daniel Siegel

What is trauma?

2011-06-20T13:22:00.003+01:00

Trauma is often defined in terms of little t trauma and big T trauma, or soft and hard trauma. This definition of trauma is event dependent. It is looking from the outside in, instead of from the inside out. In my experience it is not the event itself that is significant in terms of defining what is traumatic, but how we experienced and resolved the event or events. Trauma is an individual experience and how we respond and resolve it, is unique to us, our situation, our age and available resources. Any experience that remains unresolved or unexperienced can lead to trauma.

Trauma is in the nervous system, not the event ~ Peter Levine

There are many ways an experience can remain unresolved. If we have ever felt helpless, powerless or like our survival was at stake, then the experience, whatever it was, was potentially traumatic for us. We can be deeply hurt and wounded (the word trauma comes from Greek and literally means wound), physically, sexually and psychologically, by something or someone and if we can't process the hurt, trauma can result. If we freeze and are unable, for whatever reason, to discharge the freeze response this also creates trauma in our system. The traumatic experience can then be triggered or re-enacted over and over again until resolution is found. If subsequent freeze responses are not discharged and compounded pain is not resolved, an enormous strain is put on our system and our resilience becomes severely depleted.

One of the most devastating and insidious traumas is the ongoing experience of feeling unloved and unwanted, which usually starts in the womb. When a baby feels unloved and unwanted, it can be experienced as a real threat to their survival and can result in feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. The wounds of feeling unloved go very deep and often remain unexperienced or frozen just because they are so unbearably painful. The imprint of these wounds will be played out and re-enacted in all sorts of different ways in order to resolve them. We're always looking for resolution, we need resolution.

If the essential need for love is not met, babies learn to mistrust and deny all of their needs, because if they are not worthy of being loved, they are not worthy of having their needs met. When traumatic imprints are laid down as early as our time in the womb, freezing can often become the habitual response when we feel threatened later in life because of lowered resilience. Our threshold to assimilate life's stresses is affected by unresolved trauma, we become hyper vigilant, feel unsafe, we dissociate, feel anxious and depressed, we do whatever helps us to sedate and keep our pain repressed.

Trauma: unexperienced experience ~ Ivor Browne

Trauma imprints in the body

2011-06-14T11:14:00.007+01:00

Acceptance can be difficult. That's an understatement if ever there was one. When we reject or resist feeling our feelings, we can't experience them and the experience remains undigested or unexperienced. Psychiatrist Ivor Browne calls unexperienced experience trauma. This is one of the ways trauma imprints in our bodies. What we don't feel and experience our body takes on.

Chronic indigestion, or undischarged trauma, can show up in our life in all sorts of ways; IBS, acid reflux, bloating, chronic inflammation, anxiety, stress, depression, chronic fatigue and so on. Finding a way to digest the indigestible is important for our health. Ask your self what has been the hardest for you to digest or accept in your life?

I believe it's nigh on impossible to let go of something that we haven't digested or even acknowledged is there. And that's where the frustration and overwhelm come in, we try and struggle in vain to let go of something that hasn't been acknowledged, accepted or felt. The overwhelm goes beyond frustration, it very often, if not always, leads to feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness. The helplessness is also felt because of not consciously knowing due to repressed or unconscious pain, a pain so painful that it is deeply buried. But our body let's us know in the form of symptoms, as it is the container for all our pain.

The first physical signs of indigestion can be low stomach acid, we don't digest our food as well and feel off and bloated. If left unchecked this can become chronic and can lead to issues such as IBS and many others. Emotional signs of undischarged trauma are feeling overwhelmed, flying off the handle at the 'slightest' thing, being called 'too' sensitive and feeling like it's all 'too much'.

One of the reasons we won't allow our self to experience anything traumatic is we fear we'll never be able to exit from the feeling or experience and it will be unbearable. Which is usually how we felt when it first happened and we don't want to return there. We're terrified it will stay with us forever and swallow us up in its pain so we resist feeling it with all our might. The strategy of avoiding pain in the short term (the freeze response) works really well and can be life saving, but in the long run we pay a huge price for suppressing what's crying out for acceptance from us. Tapping diagram and procedure.

Back pain

2011-06-07T13:33:00.001+01:00

Our need for others has its roots in our earliest experiences and is bound up with our deepest feelings. This may be obvious, and yet a hundred years of otherwise creditable psychological thinking took it for granted that we begin life as individuals, who somehow at some later stage get in relationships with each other ~ Josephine Klein, Our Need for Others and its Roots in Infancy

10 years ago I injured my tail bone while cycling. Ever since then I have had lower back issues and once in 2004 I was in bed for 3 weeks with severe pain and sciatica. I am still healing this injury, which goes far deeper than the physical one I sustained that day on my bike.

Whenever I feel unsupported, or try to push through, my back lets me know. I have this habit or pattern of not listening to myself, not taking my feelings seriously, and being far too concerned with how others feel and taking responsibility for that, it's no wonder I don't feel supported sometimes. So when I'm not listening and paying attention to how I feel, my back lets me know.

The first chakra is all about stability, safety, support, having strong roots and feeling grounded, so it's not surprising that back issues tend to show up in people who have issues in these areas. Try this tapping script for back pain:

Even though I feel unsupported, I accept how I feel (if a memory pops up, tap on that)

Even though my back feels like …(it's going to pop, give way etc), I accept my back and all its messages

Even though all these feelings are stored in my back, I accept them all

Top of the head: I don't feel supported

Eyebrow: I have to do it all alone

Side of eye: And that makes me feel …

Under the eye: Lonely

Under the nose: Weighed down

Under the chin: On shaky ground

Collar Bone: I don't feel safe

Under the arm: I'd like to be looked after for once

Top of the head: This pain

Eyebrow: It feels ...(be as descriptive as you can)

Side of the eye: I feel it when …

Under the eye: And that makes me feel …

Under the nose: I accept how I feel

Under the chin: I choose to take my feelings and experiences seriously

Collar bone: I choose to support myself

Under the arm: That feels …

Top of the head: What's the bigger message here?

Eyebrow: What's stored in my back?

Side of the eye: The mechanical injury isn't healing because …

Under the eye: My feelings need to be taken seriously

Under the nose: I need to take myself seriously

Under the chin: And stop trying to be brave

Collar bone: And trying to do it all alone

Under the arm: I can reach out …

Tap on anything that this script brings up and make sure to customise it to how you feel. Suggested reading:
1. The Body Bears the Burden by Robert Scaer

2. Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine

3. Your Body Doesn't Lie by John Diamond

Don't turn away

2011-06-02T12:45:00.000+01:00

Turn towards your self. Turn towards your feelings. Turn towards your experience. Don't push through, pay attention, listen. Tap for the courage and the strength to feel and experience whatever it is. EFT short cut diagram and procedure

Remember the Body. Touch the Earth. Heal Wounds.

2011-05-28T14:55:00.001+01:00

I really loved this article by Benjamin Riggs and I'd like to share an excerpt here. You can read the full article here.

"The body is a place many of us have not been for quite some time. We have forgotten our bodies. In our modern world, the sensitivity and immediacy of the body is treated like a nuisance. It is almost as if the body is always interrupting the head, with it’s plans and strategies. With our ambitious heads in the driver’s seat, we push our bodies to the edge. As a result, we are plagued by aches and pains, fatigue, addiction, and illness. We seek escape from the prophetic wisdom of intuition, but the persistence of this wisdom reveals our plans and strategies to be a cowardly exercise in futility—preordained tendencies that seek to escape the inevitable reunion of mind and body. Then, in an act of desperation, we drown out the realization that we are seeking escape. We begin to chase oblivion, and in the process, we silence the voice of our body. We go numb. The impending reminders of our corporeal condition are, often times, so extreme and overwhelming that the body has come to be regarded as a burden. At best, most of us see the body as a bag of bones, which chauffeurs around the tyrant lodged between our ears. This condition is referred to as “disembodiment.”

Inbred thinking is the origin of our disembodied condition. A decapitated head is an industrious mentality characterized by confusion, speed, and clutter. In short, it is insane. When thought is divorced from reality, consciousness becomes infected with insanity. In a disconnected mind thought is forced to supply itself with content, which is the origin of insanity.

At birth we are fully embodied. As a matter of fact, we are still fully embodied; we are just ignore-ant of this fact. As we begin our initiation into the human race, we inherit a program that seeks to fragment awareness for the sake of organization. The true nature of thought is pure energy, but language begins to interpret this energy, molding it through a process of conformity. Eventually, the thinking mind is governed by a pre-ordained system of dynamics and unquestioned assumptions." Read on

Dissolving an underlying energetic pattern of fear

2011-05-11T10:51:00.000+01:00

This exercise is from Donna Eden's excellent book Energy Medicine. I have had great success with this beautifully simple exercise:

When you are caught in fear, anxiety, or a phobia, tapping a point on the triple warmer meridian (gamut spot in EFT), which governs the flight-or-flight response, can alleviate the fear. The next time you feel afraid (time - about 1 minute):

1. Start tapping on the gamut spot. Tap for about a minute.

2. If you still feel fear, tap on the other hand.

Even for a long-standing phobia, repeatedly using this technique begins to alter the underlying energetic pattern.

Are you "too" sensitive?

2011-05-05T14:52:00.001+01:00

Do you believe your self to be "too" sensitive? I think there is a difference between being receptive and sensitive. I believe that being too sensitive or hyper sensitivity is actually an overwhelmed nervous system. Try this tapping script to help your nervous system release some of that undischarged frozen energy. Tapping diagram and points.

A very receptive state of mind...not unlike a sheet of film itself - seemingly inert, yet so sensitive that a fraction of a second's exposure conceives a life in it ~ Minor White

Even though I am too sensitive, I accept myself anyway

Even though I feel too much, I accept all of my feelings

Even though I wish I could turn the switch off on my emotions so I don't have to feel them, I accept how I feel

Top of the head: I'm too sensitive

Eyebrow: How do I know?

Side of the eye: I've always been told I am

Under the eye: I've always been highly strung

Under the nose: I've always felt too much

Under the chin: I can't handle my feelings

Collar bone: And neither can others

Under the arm: So I push them away

Top of the head: But it doesn't work

Eyebrow: They get stronger

Side of the eye: Because I'm not listening

Under the eye: I'm not acknowledging

Under the nose: What my feelings are trying to say

Under the chin: So they get louder

Collar bone: So I'll listen

Under the arm: But it's hard to listen

Top of the head; When they feel so strong

Eyebrow: And overwhelming

Side of the eye: It's hard to accept my feelings

Under the eye: Because …

Under the nose: It's difficult to honour how I feel

Under the chin: And feel those feelings

Collar bone: They feel too much

Under the arm: I feel too much

Top of the head: My nervous system is overwhelmed

Eyebrow: I can help it discharge some of this stress

Side of eye: Tapping and releasing

Under the eye: Tapping and releasing

Under the nose: Tapping and helping this energy to move

Under the chin: And go where it needs to go

Collar bone: Helping this energy move

Under the arm: Helping this energy move

Feeling=Movement

2011-05-02T14:14:00.002+01:00

When you feel, you keep things moving. And when your energies are moving it feels good and you feel good as a result. When a feeling feels uncomfortable, we have the ability to stop feeling that feeling and suspend the experience. The discomfort can come in the form of shame, guilt, fear or feeling wrong for having the feeling in the first place. Allowing yourself to feel allows you to fully experience your life. Feeling is completely free, it's a natural ability most of us have that is underutilised and undervalued, it is a skill you can access any time you choose to. Things tend to fall into their rightful place when we allow our self to feel all of our emotions, we don't feel so stuck, stressed and overwhelmed.

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power ~ Alan Cohen

Try tapping on “Feeling keeps my energies moving”, “When my energy moves I feel good”, “It feels good when my energies are moving”. Describe the energy and how it feels as it's moving, or not moving as the case may be, be as descriptive as you can about how you feel when you're tapping. You'll know you're making headway if you start to yawn, sigh, burp or when the emotional charge on the feeling lessens and it feels more comfortable to feel that feeling. These are all very good signs of a shift and energy starting to move. EFT is great at helping us to feel emotions that we find difficult to feel. It's easier to let the feeling move through your system without it causing a short circuit in your energy (electrical) system when you tap. If energy has been stuck or has not moved in a long time, it can feel hard and very frustrating, it can take a bit longer and some persistence to help it start moving again. Let your intention be for the energy to move and see what happens when you let go of any resistance to feeling all of your emotions.

Feel the way you feel ...

2011-04-28T12:07:00.001+01:00

Trust your own instincts. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else's ~ Billy Wilder

If there is one thing I've learned in life, it's to trust my instincts. If I make a mistake, so what? I can start again, apologise or change direction. I can let myself off the hook.

Trusting how you feel is also part of trusting your instincts because you feel your instincts. Don't allow your self or anyone else to talk you out of how you feel. You feel the way you feel and allowing your self to feel whatever it is will help you in ways you can't imagine.

Try saying “My intention is to allow myself to feel ..” and tap on all the points as you say it. If you can't identify the feeling or there are many feelings, where is that energy showing up in your body? How do you know you have that feeling or feelings? Be as descriptive as possible when you're tapping and talk about how you're feeling as you're tapping. Have a conversation with your self. Keep going until the emotional charge lessens and the feeling is flowing smoothly through your system. This might take more than one go, but if you find some relief you'll feel encouraged enough to keep going, knowing it's helping you.

Each time you allow the energy of a feeling to move through you, with the help of tapping, or any other technique you find useful, you get better and better at feeling ALL of your your emotions. And your ability to release the emotional charge on feelings that feel uncomfortable or overwhelming will grow too. You'll find that it gets easier and easier each time you allow your self to feel whatever it is. There is no right or wrong here, there's just allowing. EFT shortcut diagram and procedure

I learned to be with myself rather than avoiding myself with limiting habits; I started to be aware of my feelings more, rather than numb them ~ Judith Wright

Tim Douglas

2011-04-15T07:38:00.001+01:00

Tim your kindness echoes endlessly ... thank you and I love you.

Freezing on the spot

2011-04-14T13:53:00.000+01:00

When we freeze it can feel like we're helpless to say or do anything to help our self. Many of us can feel like we were weak for having frozen and it can be really hard to accept that we didn't do or say anything to help our self. We may feel that we could have prevented whatever from happening if only we had fought back or been able to escape. The ability to freeze an experience is a great survival mechanism that serves us really well in situations where we don't have the resources to deal with it in that moment. As Ivor Browne states ~ Whenever we are faced with an overwhelming experience that we sense as potentially disintegrating, we have the ability to suspend it and "freeze" it in an unassimilated, inchoate form and maintain it in that state indefinitely, or for as long as necessary.

Top of head: I froze
Eyebrow: I should have fought back
Side of eye: It's all my fault
Under eye: I'm weak
Under nose: I felt helpless
Under chin: And powerless
Collar bone: To do anything
Under arm: And I can't accept myself for having done nothing

Top of head: I should have done something!!
Eyebrow: But I froze
Side of eye: I wanted to survive
Under eye: I was weak
Under nose: At least it felt that way
Under chin: Why didn't I do something?!
Collar bone: I could have prevented ...
Under arm: It's really hard to accept that I did nothing

Top of head: I did my best
Eyebrow: What??
Side of eye: No I didn't
Under eye: Yes, I did
Under nose: I could have done more
Under chin: I wish I had done more
Collar bone: I wish I had spoken up
Under arm: For myself

Top of head: I accept myself anyway
Eyebrow: I really did do the best I could at the time
Side of eye: I really did
Under eye: My need to survive was strong
Under nose: Stronger than the urge to fight or run
Under chin: And that's ok
Collar bone: That doesn't make me weak
Under arm: It makes me strong

Our strength grows out of our weaknesses ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

The great illusion

2011-04-11T11:19:00.000+01:00

Article from The Irish Times, Tuesday, October 12th, 2010:

According to Prof Ivor Browne, treatment of mental illness can not – and should not – be undertaken without the effort of the patient, and the power of change and recovery being firmly placed in their hands

THE WORLD is a sea of troubles and we have to adapt to these as best we can. People use all kinds of ways to manage. Some are better than others, while some are counterproductive and land us in difficulty. Mental illness is seen as a disease caused by either a disturbance in our biochemistry or by genetic influences – but this is a myth.

This view of mental illness arises from a reductionist scientific concept, where the disturbance of the whole person is seen as caused by something wrong with the parts. It’s derived historically from Galileo’s statement that, to make scientific progress, we must concentrate on things we can measure. But this is only half the story and it breaks down when applied to living creatures such as ourselves.

When a new whole emerges, this is a completely new reality, quite distinct from the parts that make it up. It’s not explainable by simply analysing the parts. Once the new reality, for example of a person, emerges, the causal direction reverses. The new whole takes control over its parts – thus we have to take control of our behaviour, cells and biochemistry, and not the other way around.

This is why, in dealing with emotional problems, there is no therapy the psychiatrist or therapist can apply to the person to bring about real change. The person has to do the work of changing themselves, with the support and guidance of a therapist.

This concept of “self-organisation” is synonymous with what it is to be alive. Anything that diminishes our state of self-organisation lessens our control over and management of our health and will be a step towards sickness.

Because of the mechanistic attitudes that have accompanied advances in science and technology, the western mind has fallen prey to the illusion that there is a remedy for every ill; we expect to be able to avail of these without any effort or suffering on our part.

When a person comes to a doctor or therapist with symptoms that indicate depression or anxiety, they expect the doctor to do something to relieve them.

Certainly doctors can relieve symptoms, but without the natural healing power of the body and a functioning immune system, medicine and doctors are largely helpless.

In dealing with psychiatric illness, there is no treatment you can apply to a person that will bring about real change in them. The person has to undertake the work himself and this involves pain and suffering. Read on

*Article Unexperienced experience by Ivor Browne

Free resources

2011-04-04T20:59:00.001+01:00

Emotions are celebrated and repressed, analysed and medicated, adored and ignored - but rarely, if ever, are they honoured ~ Karla McLaren

25 EFT tapping scripts on allowing your feelings, anger, trust, letting go, feeling stuck and lots more.
Audios ~ listen and tap along (to download right click on a PC or control click on a Mac):
Anxiety
Overwhelm
Pain
Sinus issues
Diagram and procedure of EFT Short Cut
Diagram and procedure of EFT Full Basic Recipe
Tips on getting the best from EFT
21 questions to help you find core issues and beliefs
The EmoTrance Primer

Emotions are movements in the energy body ~ Silvia Hartmann

The best way out is through

2011-03-29T10:48:00.001+01:00

The best way out is through ~ Robert Frost

I don't know of any other way out of pain but through. Going around it, avoiding it, pretending it's not there, willing it away or covering it up, creates a labyrinth where we lose our way and can find no exit. The way out takes willingness and the courage to connect with your pain. To finally feel, for the first time, that unexperienced experience which psychiatrist Ivor Browne calls trauma, untangles the confusion and clears our path. We can emerge from our pain with a true sense of who we are.

I believe the only way we can truly know our self is to go through our pain. What I know for sure is that avoiding pain is what keeps us stuck right in the thick of pain. Movement towards our pain, no matter how small, or how slow, is always healing.

There is no coming to consciousness without pain ~ Carl Jung

Clogher Beach, Ballyferriter, Kerry, Ireland

EFT shortcut diagram and procedure

Even though I don't want to go through this …. I accept how I feel

Even though avoiding my pain isn't working, I'm willing to try another way

Even though I'm confused, I trust it will all be ok

TH: I want to avoid …

EB: And that's ok

SE: I understand why I feel that way

UE: I can have compassion for why I feel that way

UN: I know the reasons why I avoid pain

UC: I accept those reasons

CB: I have kindness for myself because of those reasons

UA: It's hard

TH: I don't want …

EB: And that's ok

SE: I can understand why I don't want …

UE: I can have compassion for why I feel that way

UN: I know the reasons why I don't want …

UC: I accept why I don't want …

CB: I have kindness for myself for not wanting …

UA: It's …

TH: I want …

EB: And that's ok

SE: I can understand why I want …

UE: I can have compassion for why I want …

UN: I know the reasons why I want …

UC: I accept why I want …

CB: I have kindness for myself for wanting …

UA: It's …

TH: I choose …

EB: And that's ok

SE: I can understand why I choose …

UE: I can have compassion for why I choose …

UN: I know the reasons why I choose …

UC: I accept why I choose …

CB: I have kindness for myself for choosing …

UA: It's …

Home

2011-03-21T12:19:00.001Z

Where thou art - that - is Home ~ Emily Dickinson

Every time you feel something painful, you lessen your pain. You're connecting to a part of you that hurts and that connection is very healing. On so many levels you are helping yourself when you feel, you're helping your nervous system to discharge stress, you're helping parts of you feel heard, respected and understood and you're taking your experience and feelings seriously. You are listening and you are present. It takes a lot of courage to turn towards your pain.

If you tend to minimise or deny your pain, and not feel it, it will show up in your body. The presence of chronic pain in your body is a sign that your body is holding your unfelt pain. Its presence makes your pain real so you can take your pain and your feelings seriously. Its presence allows you to know that you're not just imagining it, it's not all in your head, you're not being dramatic, or too sensitive or too whatever else. Whatever ways you've learned to bury your hurt, your body will help you to listen instead so you can release it. Feeling and entering in to your pain, is like returning to your self, releasing a feeling of being homesick for something that you have being missing for a long time or even your whole life. The more you release your pain, the more comfortable you feel and the more you come home to your self, and that feels good.

Fluid Connection by ~oniArts on deviant ART

Even though it's painful to feel my pain, I'm tapping for the courage to help me feel

Even though I want to turn away, I'm tapping for the courage to turn towards my pain

Even though I want to disconnect and run away, I'm tapping for the courage to fully connect to my pain

Repeat whatever reminder phrase feels right. Short cut EFT diagram and procedure

Consciousness

2011-03-19T12:07:00.000Z

Dr France Janov talking about primal consciousness, find out more at http://primaltherapy.com/

The difference between awareness and consciousness

2011-03-15T10:09:00.000Z

Article by Dr Arthur Janov http://arthurjanov.com/

The leitmotif of every intellectual therapy is that awareness helps us make progress. I’ll grant that awareness helps; but being conscious cures. Unless we are able to achieve consciousness in psychotherapy, the most we can do is tread water, having the illusion of progress without its essence.

When it comes to measuring progress in psychotherapy, it matters whether one measures the whole system or only aspects of brain function. Awareness fits the latter. It has a specific seat in the brain— Awareness and consciousness are two different animals. “Aware” and feelings lie on different levels. Awareness is what we often use to hide the unconscious; a defense. Awareness without feeling is the enemy of consciousness. What we are after is the awareness of consciousness and the consciousness of awareness. Not the awareness of awareness. When the patient is uncomfortable during a session, therapists typically take the position that “More insights is what we need. She is not aware enough.” But it is not the content of those insights that helps; it is the fact of the insight—a belief system that aids the defense mechanisms to do their job. Yet, what lies on low levels of brain function is immune to any idea. We can be anxious and aware but not anxious and conscious.

Psychotherapy has been in the business of awareness for too long. Since the days of Freud, we have apotheosized insights. We are so used to appealing to the almighty frontal cortex, the structure that has made us the advanced human beings that we are, that we forgot our precious ancestors, their instincts and feelings. We may emphasize how our neocortex is so different from other animal forms while we disregard our mutually shared feeling apparatus. We need a therapy of consciousness, not awareness. If we believe that we have an id stewing inside of us, there is no proper treatment because the cause is an apparition—a phantom that doesn’t exist. Or worse, it is a genetic force that is immutable and therefore cannot be treated. In any case, we are the losers.

There is no powerlessness like being unconscious; running around in a quandary about what to do about this or that, about sexual problems, high blood pressure, depression, and temper outbursts. It all seems like such a mystery. The aware person or he who seeks awareness has to be told everything. He listens, obeys—and suffers. Awareness doesn’t make us sensitive, empathic, or loving. It makes us aware of why we can’t be. It’s like being aware of a virus. It’s good to know what the problem is but nothing changes. The best awareness can do is create ideas that negate need and pain. Read on

Healing our pain

2011-03-08T15:25:00.003Z

We go to enormous lengths to avoid feeling pain. Does it work? Not in my experience. It might work temporarily. Connecting to pain, our pain, fully feeling it, dissolves the pain. We can paint pretty pictures of our pain, create beautiful metaphors, generate endless analogies and while these are really useful communication tools, do they really help us to fully connect to our pain? Sometimes they can, but more often than not in my experience, they lead to an over thinking and an analysis and interpretation which can often distance us from our pain so we don't have to feel it. We think our pain is resolved but we don't know and feel it is resolved. One is an experience, the other is not. Resolving pain is a feeling exercise and one we need to go through for our own sake. I believe we can't avoid feeling our pain no matter how much, or how hard, we try.

Nire Valley, Tipperary, Ireland

When some people talk of spirituality and people who are spiritual, I find it difficult to identify with what they mean or what I think they mean. Spirituality for me is not a religion, nor is it a practice, it is who we are. The spirit or life force (life energy, chi, prana etc) that animates and gives life to our bodies makes us all spiritual. Spirit is an old word for energy and has nothing to do with organised religion or any religious practice. You don't have to 'do' anything to be spiritual, you already are. For me, healing means fully connecting our spirit with our bodies; embodying our spirit. The connection feels vitalising, nourishing, healing and joyful.

When we dissociate, which is an extremely common response to pain or trauma, and we all dissociate to a greater or lesser degree, our spirit/energy detaches from our body. The greater the pain (and that's subjective) and more prolonged, the more detached our spirit/energy can become from our body. The split or severance is akin to an injury or wound and we feel this disconnection as physical and emotional pain. Our life energy stops flowing and dis-ease and dis-order may result. By feeling our pain, we repair the injury and our spirit is able to comfortably sit back into our body, the flow of our life energy is restored, and we feel 'whole' again. That's what healing truly means: feeling whole.

Terms such as 'ascension' or 'raising your vibration' don't resonate with me at all, connecting my body to my spirit does. The journey or experience is not going up, away or anywhere else but back to my self, it's an appreciation and deep gratitude for my humanity that allows me to fully feel and embody my spirit.

Feeling your unfelt emotions

2011-02-28T14:14:00.002Z

One of the main reasons I use EFT with myself is to help me feel emotions I don't want to feel, emotions that are too painful to feel. I often tap for the courage to be able to feel certain emotions. I notice if I tap with even the slightest hint of resistance, or wanting whatever I'm feeling to be gone, the emotional charge doesn't budge, if anything it gets even stronger! If I keep my intention simple and allow the energy of the emotion to move and soften up, as much as it can in that moment, I feel huge relief and the energy of that emotion starts to circulate. The movement of energy nourishes us and feels good, energy in its natural state flows. It is we who stop, or have the ability to stop the flow of energy but we can also help our energy move again.

Antonio Damasio says ~ We experience because we have the ability to feel. Ivor Browne says ~ Trauma is unexperienced experience. We can safely conclude then that feeling our experiences will keep us healthy and keep our energies flowing. Many people flinch when they hear the word trauma, but if there is some thing or some one who still bothers you when you think about them now, the experience has been traumatic for you in some way, shape or form. Whenever we are faced with a threat (and that will be different for everyone depending on circumstances, your age, resources available to you and how you felt at the time) we have the ability to not feel it fully, in other words we can freeze the experience. But at some stage we will need to discharge this frozen experience/energy or tension builds up in our nervous system, and we'll start to see the effects on our health. Ivor Browne says until we can experience the experience, it remains as the 'frozen present' and therefore cannot be processed for long term memory storage. This helps explain why we can feel overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, worn out, like we're at the end of our tether as we try and try to get off the merry go round of a seemingly never ending cycle. We can feel ashamed that we're still upset, stuck, or can't move on, and maybe others are pressuring us to 'get over it' too.

Many of us have a list of 'good' emotions and most probably a much longer list of 'bad' emotions. Whenever we feel the 'bad' emotions, we want to move away from feeling them, it's a natural instinct to want to move away from anything that is causing you pain. But herein lies our healing. The reasons we determine certain emotions are 'bad' are many. We may even think we're 'bad' people for having them in the first place, so we'll disown those emotions and stuff them somewhere where the sun don't shine. A very common emotion on the 'bad' list is anger. Anger, when not felt, can turn to rage. Its main purpose is to protect us, to say No. It's a very powerful emotion and when repressed or suppressed, puts enormous pressure on us to keep going and pretend as if nothing is wrong.

Tapping the karate chop/side of hand point (small intestine meridian) is great for unfreezing our experiences and it also dissolves psychological reversal. The small intestine is where we assimilate what we digest, and that includes experiences as well as food. Tap continuously on the karate chop (or tap both sides together if you like) and just let loose on how you feel about the emotion of anger (or any emotion you find difficult to feel). It could go something like this:

I hate being angry

I'm a horrible person for feeling angry

I can't feel angry

It gets stuck

Because it's bad to feel angry

I'm bad to feel angry

I'm a bad person

And that feels horrible

I'm horrible

My anger is too powerful

It's too strong

I don't know how to feel it

It's not safe to express it

Others don't like it ... and so on.

Self love

2011-02-22T19:31:00.001Z

These are some of my favourite quotes about liking, accepting and loving our self. Take the quote that resonates with you the most right now, for whatever reason, how does it make you feel? Tap on how it feels, tap on whether it feels true, not true, possible or not possible, the first time you felt that same way. The most important relationship we'll ever have is the one we have with our Self.

Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again ~ Joseph Campbell

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken ~ Oscar Wilde

Resolve to be thyself: and know, that he who finds himself, loses his misery ~ Matthew Arnold

Our first and last love is ... self-love ~ Christian Nevell Bovee

When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life ~ Jean Shinoda Bolen

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world ~ Lucille Ball

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection ~ Buddha

He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals ~ Benjamin Franklin

If we really love ourselves, everything in our life works ~ Louise Hay

The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

What can we gain by sailing to the moon if we are not able to cross the abyss that separates us from ourselves? ~ Thomas Merton

It is of practical value to learn to like yourself. Since you must spend so much time with yourself you might as well get some satisfaction out of the relationship ~ Norman Vincent Peale

The Language of Emotion

2011-02-15T11:30:00.000Z

This is an excellent piece by Karla McLaren on just how important a role emotions and empathy play in our life, you can find out more about her at http://karlamclaren.com/

We experience because we have the ability to feel ~ Antonio Damasio

The Power of Association

2011-02-09T23:12:00.002Z

To associate with something means essentially to connect with it. By connecting to your feelings and experiences, you are implicitly accepting them and your self for having them. You are not denying or resisting, which is an extremely powerful way to say Yes to your self. Saying Yes and connecting to your self creates flow.

The Ocean refuses no river ~ Sheila Chandra

Connecting to a feeling or experience does not have to mean identifying with that experience or feeling. In actuality, the connection offers you an opportunity to discover what beliefs you are holding, about your self, others and life as a result of certain experiences, which is priceless. Connecting to your truth as it stands right now in this moment, not as how you want it to be in the future and not as how you wanted it to be in the past, is the ultimate act of acceptance and an acknowledgement of your humanity. It is this act of self acceptance which allows you to change.

What you don't deny, hide or disown, in other words, what you can fully associate with, won't be projected onto others or yourself, so your relationships will be more harmonious, particularly the relationship you have with your self.

Anxiety

2011-02-01T16:47:00.001Z

Hurt is the most basic negative (or uncomfortable) emotion we can feel, as Deepak Chopra, states in his book, Ageless Body, Timeless Mind. When we don't know or have never learned how to be with, feel and express our hurt, it will build up. When we're full up and can't take any more which can often be precipitated by a life crisis, our buried hurt and pain starts to leak and its effects are often felt as anxiety and depression. States like anxiety and depression are secondary formations once we learned not to feel or express our hurt in the moment. Our body wants to release hurt the moment it occurs but we humans have the power to suspend and freeze painful experiences. Only thing is, we often later forget to feel them or don't want to feel them, just because they were so painful the first time round. So the frozen experiences stay trapped in our nervous system as undischarged stress. Because anxiety is a state of many many experiences of unfelt pain, it overrides the natural release mechanism of the body and mind, so it can and very often does lead to overwhelm.

The effects of anxiety are acutely felt in the body, anxiety can make us feel like we want to climb out of our skin, and go somewhere where the pain doesn't exist or where we can't feel it. Because we can't physically step out of our skins, we'll find all sorts of creative ways to help us numb and sedate our pain while we're in our bodies. Food helps us do it, especially carbohydrates and sweets, cigarettes will do it as will dissociating, racing thoughts will do it in an attempt to regain some control, alcohol, drugs, watching television, anything and everything that you can use to distract yourself from that frozen ball of pain humming away in your nervous system.

This is why using the body, its felt sense and sensations is so effective in helping us to release undischarged stress and hurt that has become anxiety.

Try using these set up statements and reminder phrases, keep going until you feel a shift/release and make sure to customise it for you, locate body sensations, see if they move or change as you tap. Set an intention of helping this frozen energy move, not to try and 'get rid of' the pain or hurt. You know from experience that resisting your hurt only makes it worse. You can't release what you're resisting. Listen and tap along

Even though I don't want to be in my body, where all the hurt is, that's the way it is for now

Even though this pain is humming away in my nervous system waiting to erupt, I acknowledge it's there

Even though I just can't feel this pain, it's too painful, maybe I can feel some of it

Top of the Head: These anxious feelings

Eyebrow: They are so hard to live with

Side of Eye: I’d love some peace

Under Eye: From this

Under Nose: I just don’t feel safe

Under Chin: Or in control

Collar Bone: I feel overwhelmed

Under Arm: I have to distract myself from that

Top of the Head: I keep thinking

Eyebrow: That I should be over this!

Side of Eye: But I can’t release this anxiety

Under Eye: Or overwhelm

Under Nose: And that makes me feel ...

Under Chin: What’s wrong with me?

Collar Bone: I’m exhausted

Under Arm: I feel . . .

Top of the Head: Maybe I'll release the pain instead

Eyebrow: The pain that makes up this anxiety

Side of Eye: And tap

Under Eye: On all this pain

Under Nose: This frozen unfelt pain

Under Chin: And hurt

Collar Bone: I never wanted to feel that hurt

Under Arm: And I still don't

Top of the Head: I want to feel safe and comfortable in my own body

Eyebrow: I don’t want to keep running away

Side of Eye: From these feelings

Under Eye: And me

Under Nose: And my body

Under Chin: Breathing helps me feel my body

Collar Bone: Breathing helps calm me

Under Arm: And brings me back into my body

Top of the Head: Where I choose to feel safe

Eyebrow: And protected

Side of Eye: I choose to inhabit my body fully

Under Eye: And completely

Under Nose: And feel good

Under Chin: And light

Collar Bone: And joyous

Under Arm: And just be me!!

What is my intention?

2011-01-25T11:58:00.000Z

Intention is the core of all conscious life.

Conscious intention colours and moves everything.

~ Master Hsing Yun

This is the one of the most important questions you can ask your self in life. Asking the question 'What is my intention?' helps you to get clear and focused on what you are intending to have happen, with anything. Write your answers down. You'll probably be amazed at what you write, and it's all good, you can use it all in your tapping, every single bit of it.

By banishing doubt and trusting your intuitive feelings,

you clear a space for the power of intention to flow through.

~ Wayne Dyer

If your intention is to: get rid of “it”, tap “it” away, want “it” gone and so on, while totally understandable, “it”, very likely, is not going to budge. In fact you'll probably feel worse and if you don't, you'll probably only have temporary relief from “it”. One of the best things you can do in this case is to tap on your frustration, rage, anger, resentment, or overwhelm that “it” is still here. And while you're at it, describe in detail what “it” is to you, write it down so you can re-read what you have written. Get really really clear on why you want to get rid of whatever “it” is.

Intentions compressed into words enfold magical power.

~ Deepak Chopra

If your intention is to have true health and you're willing to do what it takes, your intention, or approach, will be different. You'll realise at some stage that wanting the symptoms gone doesn't solve or heal anything. Pushing through your physical or emotional pain, or avoiding it, fighting it, battling it, or wanting to get rid of it, just makes that pain have to scream even louder because you're not listening. You're not listening to what is really going on. We all want the quick fix sometimes, but we miss what Carol Look calls the 'energetic invitation'. The invitation to be aware, the invitation to be at peace, the invitation to be kind to our self, the invitation to accept and love our self exactly as we are now, which, as Carl Rogers says, paradoxically helps us to change.

Intention moves energy.

~ Silvia Hartmann

Energy evolution

2011-01-19T12:44:00.001Z

The physical act of allowing energy to move in, through and out of our energy systems is from Emotrance. If we can allow that natural action to take place, the movement of the energy itself, in, through and out of our system, nourishes us. It makes us stronger, more resilient, calm, peaceful, joyous and brighter.

Just imagine allowing all incoming energies to move into your energy system, through you and then to be able to let them go? Not judging the energies, not criticising them, not being shamed for having the energy of anger or guilt in your system for instance, which of course is what will stop it in its tracks. All the ways the natural movement of energy is impeded, which can become lifetime patterns of how we deal with energies we've learned are "bad" or "negative" or "shameful".

Infinity Blue by Vlad Gerasimov http://vladstudio.deviantart.com/

Being able to handle energies in all their forms is the next step in our evolution I think. We won't create shields for the energies we can't handle and therefore starve our energy systems of those energies, and we'll be able to allow energy to move once it is in our systems, so no blockages occur. Having the skill to allow energy to move, in, through and out is a huge resource. Everyone can learn how to do this, I think it's what we are designed to be able to do, and to do it naturally and easily.

Our energy affects everything, our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. As long as energy is moving as it is designed to do, we have health. Imagine all of our energies free flowing, not getting stuck or trapped and manifesting in physical or mental dis-ease?

Can we let go of what we haven't assimilated?

2011-01-13T12:24:00.009Z

We experience because we have the ability to feel ~ Antonio Damasio

How can we let go of what we haven't fully digested? Isn't it necessary to experience or absorb whatever it is so we can let go?

How do we do that?

Well, we can tap for the courage to feel what we don't want to feel or experience. We can tap for the frozen and suspended feelings and experiences that we just couldn't feel or process at the time they happened. Irish psychiatrist, Ivor Browne, calls these unassimilated or unexperienced experiences "the frozen present" or trauma. We can tap to allow that experience to move through us so we can digest it, and then let it go. This creates more room for other experiences so we don't feel so full up, so overwhelmed or feel as if we are about to break down. TIP, try tapping back and forth between your karate chop point (small intestine: absorbing/assimilating) and your index finger point (large intestine: letting go).

Even though this ... is frozen, I now allow it to move in, through and out

Even though I can't fully take in .... I'm tapping for the courage to allow it to move in, through and out

Even though I don't want to absorb this ... because ... I'm tapping to be able to allow it to move in, through and out

Even though this ... has not moved in a long time, I am now tapping to allow it to move in, through and out

The least movement is of importance to all nature. The entire ocean is affected by a pebble ~ Blaise Pascal

Small Intestine Meridian

2011-01-05T16:13:00.007Z

Whenever we are faced with an overwhelming experience that we sense as potentially disintegrating, we have the ability to suspend it and "freeze" it in an unassimilated, inchoate form and maintain it in that state indefinitely, or for as long as necessary ~ Ivor Browne

The small intestine meridian is commonly known as the karate chop point or the side of hand point in EFT. Tapping this point continuously corrects psychological reversal, which is any block that we may have, conscious or unconscious, to healing. The small intestine is where we absorb and assimilate the nutrients from our food. If we carry across the metaphor of assimilation to our experiences and feelings, I don't think it's any surprise that this point helps us to 'digest the indigestible' or unfreeze an experience. Anything that remains unexperienced or undigested, whether it's food, an experience or a feeling, causes indigestion. A hurtful remark can give us the physical sensation of not being able to 'take it in', stomach it or absorb it, just as much as the food we eat. What we don't assimilate or digest can never be eliminated or let go of. The frozen energy needs to be freed up first, so it can move and be released. I have found tapping on this point alone can give huge relief. EFT shortcut diagram and procedure

Even Flow

2010-12-18T15:09:00.001Z

Article by Silvia Hartmann, energymagic.com

The Even Flow is the name given in EmoTrance to describe a condition of the energy system when it works EXACTLY AS IT SHOULD.

In the energy world, there are certain prime laws that energy obey.

For anything to be experienced as "right" or "pleasant," things have to be IN THEIR RIGHTFUL PLACE IN TIME AND SPACE.

That is the first law of energy but also a general law of the Universe that works on all levels and in all ways.

In EmoTrance we ask the core question, "Where does this energy need to go?" to restore something to its rightful place in time and space. With energy forms such as memories for example, even THE most traumatic memories, if they find their rightful place in time and space, become a RESOURCE rather than a life killer.

The second law of energy is that ENERGY MUST FLOW. Read on

Download a free copy of the Enchanted World by Silvia Hartmann

Appreciation for your body

2010-12-13T12:07:00.001Z

Tapping on the karate chop (side of hand) or rubbing the sore spot continuously, say the following set up statements out loud. Be sure to customise this script for you and how you feel EFT Shortcut diagram Even if this script doesn't feel true for you right now, listen out for any objections you may hear, saying "that's not true" or "appreciate my body??? are you joking?" and tap on them until it does feel true for you.

Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack. We give it orders which make no sense ~ Henry Miller

Even though I feel … about my body sometimes, I choose to recognise all that it has held for me

Even though it is difficult to appreciate my body because … I acknowledge my body and all it does for me

Even though sometimes I feel … with my body, I really do love my body

Top of the head: I really appreciate my body
Eyebrow: And all it does
Side of eye: My body is just fantastic
Under the eye: It is such a friend to me
Under the nose: It has taken on all the things that I couldn't
Under the chin: Because it loves me so much
Collar bone: I feel so grateful to my body for doing that!
Under the arm: I love and appreciate you body

Top of the head: Sometimes though I feel angry with my body
Eyebrow: And betrayed
Side of eye: It doesn't always do what I want it to do
Under the eye: It doesn't always look the way I want it to look
Under the nose: What if I expressed how I felt
Under the chin: Instead of stuffing it into my body
Collar bone: My poor body is stuffed with unfelt, undigested emotions and experiences
Under the arm: No wonder it feels …

Top of the head: Whatever I can't digest or haven't fully experienced
Eyebrow: Goes into my body
Side of eye: But my body finds it hard to digest and assimilate that stuff too
Under the eye: And it's nearly impossible to eliminate what hasn't been digested
Under the nose: Because it's stuck
Under the chin: And that makes me feel ...
Collar bone: How can we help each other?
Under the arm: To let go?

Top of the head: When I think of all my body does for me and has done for me
Eyebrow: Tears come to my eyes
Side of eye: Tears of appreciation
Under the eye: My heart swells
Under the nose: With appreciation
Under the chin: For my beautiful body
Collar bone: I can honestly say, with my hand on my heart
Under the arm: I love my body

Emotion always has its roots in the unconscious and manifests itself in the body ~ Irene Claremont de Castil

Tapping script for depression

2010-12-09T10:52:00.002Z

His high endeavors are an inward light

That makes the path before him always bright

~ William Wordsworth

Tapping on the karate chop (side of hand) or rubbing the sore spot, say the following set up statements. Be sure to customise this script for you and how you feel. Listen and tap along to the audio on depression.
EFT Shortcut diagram.

Even though everything is such an effort, I acknowledge how I feel

Even though … feels like it's pressing down on me, I acknowledge how it makes me feel

Even though … feels hopeless, I acknowledge how I feel

Top of the head: This feeling
Eyebrow: It feels …
Side of the eye: It's heavy
Under the eye: It weighs a ton
Under the nose: It's weighing me down
Under the chin: … is pressing down on me
Collar bone: I feel …
Under the arm: And that makes me feel …

Top of the head: This heaviness
Eyebrow: This effort
Side of the eye: This weight
Under the eye: ... takes so much effort
Under the nose: … takes all my energy
Under the chin: … is sapping my energy
Collar bone: And zest for life
Under the arm: I've no zest for life

Top of the head: And that feels …
Eyebrow: I'd love to feel light
Side of eye: I'd love to feel buoyant
Under the eye: But don't know if it's possible
Under the nose: Because there's too much weighing me down
Under the chin: I can't get rid of this weight
Collar bone: That's weighing me down
Under the arm: And sapping my energy

Top of the head: What exactly is weighing me down?
Eyebrow: What's making me feel this way?
Side of the eye: I'm open to knowing
Under the eye: I'm open to feeling
Under the nose: I'm open to allowing
Under the chin: I'm open to healing
Collar bone: This depression
Under the arm: I'm willing to feel

Top of the head: And sort through
Eyebrow: What's depressing me
Side of the eye: I'm willing to get clear
Under the eye: On what it is
Under the nose: That's pressing down on me
Under the chin: So I can feel light again
Collar bone: So I can feel free
Under the arm: Of this weight

Top of the head: I'm willing
Eyebrow: To express
Side of eye: How I feel
Under the eye: Even if only to myself
Under the nose: I'm willing to feel
Under the chin: All of my feelings
Collar bone: I'm willing to accept
Under the arm: All of my feelings

Someday perhaps the inner light will shine forth from us, and then we'll need no other light ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The Rush to Reframe

2010-12-03T14:31:00.001Z

Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world

~ George Bernard Shaw

I believe we need to be aware of where we find it difficult to accept where we or others are in any given moment. In the rush to make ourself or others feel better, we can rush into reframing a situation and how we feel about it, too early. And we lose a healing opportunity as a result.

Rushing to reframe can have the effect of feeling like we're being shut up, once again. Even worse, is the intimation that these feelings are somehow unacceptable, ugly, or horrible and therefore that makes us unacceptable, ugly or horrible for having them, never mind expressing them. Two of the most damaging ways people can be shut up or shut down is to be shamed for feeling a certain way and/or to have their feelings and experiences minimised. Very often, if not always, the resulting beliefs are:
Shaming: I am wrong.
Minimising: I don't count.

The holy grail in the reframing world seems to be forgiveness. There is a lot of emphasis placed on forgiveness, so if you don't or won't forgive, what does that make you? An angry person? A resentful person? An unforgiving person? Or maybe, just maybe, it makes you a person that hasn't yet healed their hurts. If we put the cart before the horse, we're creating yet another shaming or minimising device with which to punish ourself. Guilt always seeks punishment. My preferred reframe for forgiveness is acceptance, and acceptance is a process or state of mind, it's not a step or steps we have to take to get somewhere or become something to be more acceptable or pleasing to others, or to ourself for that matter. When we can honestly say that we accept ourselves, others and life exactly as we and they are, we probably won't even need to forgive.

I have found from working with people that the very best reframes always come from them, when they are ready. My role is not to push or force them. When their experiences, beliefs and feelings have been witnessed, validated and heard they will start making shifts in how they perceive themselves, others and life. These are deep, lasting and authentic changes from the inside out.

Tapping script for sinus issues/irritation

2010-11-30T13:25:00.003Z

Do you have bunged up sinuses? Do you have a post nasal drip causing you to cough? Do you feel irritated a lot of the time? Try this script to free up your sinuses and your irritation. In my experience congested sinuses and post nasal drip are very often caused by irritation and anger. What do you think is underneath the irritation? Tap along to the mp3 recording or read the script below.

Even though I feel irritated at/by ... I accept myself

Even though ... is really getting up my nose, I accept myself

Even though my sinuses are all bunged up, I accept how I and they feel

Top of the head: This irritation
Eyebrow: Is really irritating
Side of eye: I'm irritated
Under eye: I feel irritated
Under nose: And it's showing up in my body
Under chin: My body is speaking my mind
Collar bone: Because I feel irritated
Under arm: And my sinuses are expressing that irritation

Top of the head: I can let go of this irritation at ...
Eyebrow: Can I?
Side of eye: Do I want to?
Under eye: If they'd only stop irritating me!
Under nose: Or If I chose not to let them irritate me ...
Under chin: Do I have a choice?
Collar bone: Yes
Under arm: No!

Top of head: I'll feel the irritation
Eyebrow: So my sinuses don't have to express the irritation for me
Side of eye: Why do they get under my skin?
Under eye: And up my nose?
Under nose: The irritation is not flowing
Under chin: It's getting stuck
Collar bone: In my sinuses
Under arm: I can let it flow

Top of head: Literally!
Eyebrow: I can let it all out
Side of eye: I can eliminate all this crap
Under eye: That I don't need
Under nose: I can let it all flow out
Under chin: Of my sinuses
Collar bone: That feels better
Under arm: That feels more freeing

The Art of Attention

2010-11-22T13:49:00.000Z

If you pay attention, you're always learning. And if you're always learning, you're always in grace, and grace will fill in the cracks in your understanding ~ Richard Bartlett

This is a lovely interview by Dr Mercola with Richard Bartlett, creator of Matrix Energetics, on the art of paying attention.

We are basically just patterns of light and energy ~ Richard Bartlett

Tell the Truth

2010-11-18T10:59:00.001Z

Tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth ~ Sheryl Louise Moller

Have you ever found yourself “performing” in a session when you're the client? Have you ever downplayed how you feel or where you find yourself to gain approval, or for any other reason? Some part of you senses and knows that the therapist/practitioner wants you to make THEM feel good about their skills, or whatever else, and you go along with it out of fear. Fear that if they really knew your true circumstances or how you really really felt, they'd disapprove in some way or another?

Unless it's completely safe to open up in an authentic way, and to be able and to be free to express exactly how we feel, the therapy is an absolute waste of time in my opinion. The practitioner gives tacit permission for us to do this, it's unspoken but we know when we don't have that permission. All we have to do is trust that knowing. What I find sad is that many of us will blame our self, we don't trust that if the therapist cannot handle our emotions in all their multi-coloured glory, it says more about them than it does about us. So it comes down to trusting our self and our inner knowing. We know, so pretending that we don't know, doesn't serve us well and neither does it serve the therapist or practitioner. Wherever we find our self reveals a healing opportunity for us and for the other person if they wish to accept it.

Unwanted moments introduce us to parts of ourselves that would otherwise never get healed were it not for the difficulties that first reveal them and that lead us to release their pain ~ Guy Finley

The theatre of the body

2010-11-12T11:09:00.002Z

Emotions play out in the theatre of the body, feelings play out in the theatre of the mind ~ Antonio Damasio

This is an excerpt from the brilliantly written book by Peter Levine, Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma: The Innate Capacity to Transform Overwhelming Experiences. This book is a must read for anyone who has been traumatised.

Arousal becomes chronic as a result of overwhelming sensations and emotions that have an internal source. This is the reason that trauma can and must be transformed by working with it internally. In re-enactment the world may be our stage. In remaining external, it also remains unchanged. Hence, re-enactment rarely accomplishes its intended task.

It is to our detriment that we live in a culture that does not honour the internal world. In many cultures, the internal world of dreams, feelings, images, and sensations is sacred. Yet, most of us are only peripherally aware of its existence. We have little or no experience of finding our way around in this internal landscape. Consequently, when our experience demands it, we are unprepared. Rather than negotiating it skillfully, if we attempt it all, we are more likely to re-enact it.

With patience and attention, however, the patterns that drive traumatic re-enactment can be dismantled so that we again access the infinite, feeling tones and behavioural responses that we are capable of executing. Once we understand how trauma begins and develops, we must then learn to know ourselves through the felt sense. All the information that we need to begin renegotiating trauma is available to us. Our bodies (instincts) will tell us where the blockages are and when we are moving too fast. Our intellects can tell us how to regulate the experience so that we are not overwhelmed. When these brain functions work as one, we can establish a special relationship between the mainstream for our internal experience and the turmoil of trauma. Moving slowly and allowing the experience to unfold at each step allows us to digest the unassimilated aspects of the traumatic experience at a rate that we are able to tolerate. (Irish psychiatrist Ivor Browne calls trauma: unexperienced experience).

In the theatre of the body, trauma can be transformed. The fragmented elements that perpetuate traumatic emotion and behaviour can be completed, integrated, and made whole again. Along with this wholeness comes a sense of mastery and resolution.

Every trauma provides an opportunity for authentic transformation ~ Peter Levine

Creativity

2010-11-09T13:45:00.001Z

What does it mean to be creative? To create means to make something new, to bring something into existence or to cause something to happen. Doesn't it follow then that we're all creative? Many people infer creativity to mean being artistic or musical and while it is very easy to see the energy of creativity in these activities, we don't tend to think of creating a nice atmosphere at home or making a lovely dinner as being creative. The truth is we're (co)creating our lives every moment of every single day, so it's very important to get clear and create the life that we truly want and desire. Say, out loud:

I create

I am creative

I am creativity

Notice how you feel when you say them and where you feel these sentiments in your body. Write down what comes to mind and tap on anything that you feel may be blocking or shielding you from really connecting to and embodying the energy of creativity.

Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will ~ George Bernard Shaw

Energy and Intention

2010-11-03T12:21:00.002Z

In the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link

~ Carlos Castaneda

Wayne Dyer calls these seven faces of intention; Creativity, Kindness, Love, Beauty, Expansion, Abundance and Receptivity. We are a part of the energy that is called intention, when we feel connected to these energies we feel bright, we feel in the flow. Say the following sentences out loud and notice how you feel when you say them. Where do you feel the energy of these statements in your body? Maybe you can take the statement that appeals to you the most and tap on how it makes you feel. Notice if you have any blocks or shields around really embodying these seven energies of intention. When you're ready, you can move on to the next one that feels right, follow your intuition.

Intention is the perfect match for the energy system, it is the "energy screwdriver" ~ Silvia Hartmann

Deepak Chopra on the Law of Attraction

2010-11-01T15:16:00.001Z

Energy Nutrition

2010-10-22T19:21:00.002+01:00

One of the most important concepts I learned when doing my training in EmoTrance was the idea of energy nutrition. In practical terms, what that means is to be able to open ourselves up, without blocks or shields, to every energy and to allow that energy to charge and brighten us up, so we can evolve, learn, grow, be nourished by it and realise our full potential. To be able and to have the skills and resources to allow any energy to flow in, through and out and to have that same energy nourish you, is life changing and really powerful.

I don't believe that there is any such thing as a positive or negative emotion. Many of us haven't yet learned to move energy properly so we're emotionally and energetically constipated. Energy can feel dense or it can feel light. Feeling lighter feels good. Feeling dense energy because it's slow, thick and sluggish makes us feel stuck, it feels uncomfortable because we can't handle it! That's because we're afraid of it or we've judged it as "bad" or "shameful" so we deny it, bury it and most of all, hold onto it. Which of course is the last thing we say we want to do! So, dense energy can't move and stays stuck.

We're doing the opposite of what we were designed to do; allow energy to flow in, through and out of our energy systems. How many people hang onto the so-called "positive" emotions for dear life and for fear of losing them, and don't allow new stuff to flow in as a result? And how many want to get rid of the "negative" stuff? Instead of thinking in terms of high/up and low/down, as in the popular emotional guidance scale, I prefer to think of energy in terms of being dense or light. It makes a lot of sense to me, energy is designed to move, moving energy is light, slow energy or energy that has come to a standstill is dense. Learning how to allow any energy to move in, through and out will make us lighter so we can really shine as we're designed to do! http://emotrance.com/

How can we heal what we're trying so hard to avoid?

2010-10-18T14:16:00.002+01:00

How about we reframe "negative" emotions and feelings into feelings and emotions we can't handle YET.

We tend to label what feels uncomfortable as "negative". But imagine becoming comfortable with feeling all of your feelings? Wouldn't that be great?! Imagine if feeling your feelings, is what helps you digest them, assimilate them and discharge them so they don't become STUCK? Allowing them to flow in, through and out of our bodies and minds ...

Make a list of the feelings that are really uncomfortable for you to feel, the ones you want to avoid like the plague. And start tapping on allowing yourself to feel them.

Even though I can't handle feeling hopeless, maybe I can allow myself to feel 10% of that feeling and it'll get easier and easier to feel it

Even though I can't feel ... YET, I accept myself anyway

Even though I'm afraid to feel ... because ... I accept myself anyway

EFT tapping script for feeling stuck

2010-10-15T12:38:00.002+01:00

Even though I feel stuck, this stuck energy doesn't move no matter what I do and I'm tired of it, I love and accept myself anyway

Even though everything seems to be sticking to this stuck energy and it makes me feel ...I'm trying to accept how I feel about this

Even though this energy feels as hard as a rock, it's like as if it's been stuck there forever, I don't think it's possible that it will ever move, but I'm open to the possibility that I can move this energy with all the resources available to me right now

Even though it feels difficult to change my mind about this and how I see it, it feels like I can't find the solution no matter how hard I look, that's okay EFT Short cut diagram

Photo by Mike Lutz

TH I feel stuck

EB I feel stuck

SE It won't budge

UE No matter what I do

UN It's useless

UC It's hopeless

CB This energy just won't move

UA It's going to be here forever

TH No it isn't

EB Yes it is

SE No it isn't

UE Yes, it is!!

UN No it isn't!!

UC YES IT IS!!

CB When did it get stuck?

UA I don't know

TH If I did it wouldn't be stuck!!

EB Some part of me knows

SE All I have to do is help this energy move

UE And I can do that with my intention

UN Am I willing?

UC It feels really uncomfortable

UN Because it wants to move and can't

UA What's holding it there?

TH Maybe a conflict?

EB Maybe a belief?

SE A block?

UE A shield?

UN It must be subconscious

UC Because if I knew

CB I'd do something about it

UA Or would I?

TH Maybe some part of me doesn't want to let this go

EB Maybe it doesn't feel safe

SE Maybe there's some reason for holding onto this stuck energy

UE I'm open to knowing the answer

UN I'm open to receiving

UC Whatever it is I'm ready

CB Whatever it is I'm willing

UA I'm willing to heal

Discharging tension from the body exercise

2010-10-11T11:10:00.001+01:00

I have been using this exercise from the book Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul by Deepak Chopra with great success. It really works in discharging (or releasing, letting go of) body tension. I've found that the more I can help my body to release tension with easy exercises like this, the easier it becomes for me to do energy work with myself and others because I've loosened up or released old stuck energy.

Discharge tension

Awareness, like water, is meant to flow easily, without interruption. When awareness becomes stuck, tension is created in the body. Cramps, pain, tightness, and stiffness are the most obvious symptoms of this, but at a deeper level your body is storing the memory of old stress. Yoga or deep energy work are great ways to release these body memories. Yet everyone's body has a natural mechanism for discharging tension, and you can take advantage of it immediately.

Lie down before you go to sleep at night. Assume a position flat on your back without a pillow; spread your arms and legs at your side. Draw in a deep, slow breath, then release it through your mouth in a sigh, as freely and naturally as your body wants. Some sighs may be quick, almost like a gasp; others may be as deep as a sob. You may feel a sense of relief, sadness, grief, elation, or any other emotion. Be aware of the emotions as they arise; you are not just releasing physical tension; you are accessing bodily memories at the same time. The natural discharge of tension bundles thoughts, feelings, and sensations together, so let them all go at once. Do this exercise for no more than ten minutes, because it can be intense; allow yourself to fall asleep if your body wants to. That is also part of the discharge process.

Intuition

2010-10-04T15:55:00.006+01:00

I had the most wonderful EFT session today with a fantastic and compassionate EFT practitioner, Ruth Maier. I had a huge 'AHA' moment, the kind I've been hoping for, for a long time! I read a quote by Neale Donald Walsch yesterday on facebook, “The more that you act on your intuition fearlessly, the more your intuition will serve you. Intuition is the ear of the soul”. This quote really really resonated with me. I have felt the times I haven't listened to my intuition, or my gut, have been the times when I've been too afraid to do so, and as a result chaos and confusion ensued in my life. I was conflicted about listening to my inner voice, particularly in my own life, because at times it felt like the scariest thing to do and I didn't feel confident enough to follow through on it. When we're not clear and congruent, it shows up in the people and situations that come into our lives.

The implications of me not listening to my intuition and following it, have had quite a big impact on my life. I would get angry with others for “walking all over me” or taking advantage of me or my kindness and then I'd get angry with myself for having allowed it when I knew better. This is quite ironic as one of the biggest patterns and themes in my life has been not feeling heard or listened to, by others! It was easy for me to listen to my gut when it came to others, in fact I'd feel unkind if I didn't, but I found it difficult to act on it for myself, selfish even. I'd hear what it was saying but I would often override its message, so my body had to do my talking for me instead. The person that I was being unkind to was myself.

This is what I wanted to work on today with Ruth, listening to and following my intuition, all the time. All sorts of stuff came up, but the biggest blinker lifter for me (which might sound obvious to everyone else) was my intuition IS my power. I've heard how important it is to take your power back in the healing process, but I was abdicating my power many times by feeling too afraid to listen to my gut and act on it. I've had health issues with my gut and solar plexus areas in the last few years, indigestion, bloating, a general feeling of discomfort, symptoms very like IBS. My body was speaking my mind, but guess what, I wasn't listening or I wasn't hearing the messages clearly, because I wasn't clear. I really do believe that our intuition or inner voice is how God communicates with us. It is our direct connection to the power of God. Many times I have felt power-less and dis-connected, and the person I was most disconnected from was myself. Very often I wasn't listening to me or my gut. I wasn't plugging into my power source; my intuition, which is really just another way of saying how God, Source, The Soul, The Universe, talks to us. I'm definitely listening now!

Thanks for your kindness, compassion and allowing Ruth!

I digest life easily, effortlessly and joyously

2010-09-29T17:59:00.001+01:00

How easy is it for you to fully take in what is happening, or what happened in your life? What signs are you getting that some experiences and feelings just haven't been digested, assimilated and eliminated by you? Are you feeling stuck, blocked, overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, angry? Do you have IBS, Fibromyalgia or are you overweight? Try tapping on these statements, make sure to customise them for you. Tapping diagram.

Even though I can't stomach what's going on/went on (detail it and be specific) I completely accept how I feel about this

Even though it's all stuck and I just can't seem to let it go, I love and accept myself anyway

Even though I just can't take it in, it sticks in my gullet, I love and accept myself

TH I can't take it
EB It's too much
SE To feel
UE Or understand
UN Or accept
UC It's stuck (are you getting any emotional/physical signs, such as indigestion or repressed rage?)
CB I wish it would just go away
UA But I can't make it!!

TH It's really hard to accept …
EB I don't see how I can
SE It's just not fair!
UE It's easy to accept that it wasn't fair
UN I can sort of accept how I feel about that
UC Though I don't know what to do about it
CB That's why I feel stuck
UA And angry!

TH I'd love to let all of this go
EB But I just don't know how
SE I can breathe
UE And tap
UN And become aware
UC Of how I'm feeling
CB What I'm experiencing
UA And stop denying it in all the ways that I do

TH So I can feel it
EB And take it in
SE And digest it
UE And let go of what I don't want or need
UN I can trust myself to know what to keep and what to let go of
UC Because I know
CB I just need to listen
UA To how I feel

To be free, you must find a way to let go of all the stuck energy that keeps sending out the same old messages ~ Deepak Chopra

The most important aspect

2010-09-24T00:00:00.002+01:00

For me, the most important aspect in a memory is the associated feeling, or feelings. As Antonio Damasio writes in The Feeling of What Happens, “we experience because we have the ability to feel”. That's how important emotions and feelings are. The feeling(s) we experienced, or not, as the case may be, when something happened in our lives, laid the foundation of how that memory became imprinted in our brain, body and beyond. Whenever that feeling arises at a later stage, certain memories can be triggered.

If the feelings we felt at the time of the event were too overwhelming, we may have dissociated from them, or stuffed them, or buried them. Or maybe we were able to feel the feeling but when we expressed how we felt to others, we were shamed, so whenever we feel the beginnings of that feeling again, feelings of shame take its place instead. We may develop the belief that we are a bad person for feeling that way.

That's another thing about having the ability to feel and experience, we come to conclusions about our self, life and others as a result of these experiences, and these conclusions or beliefs become the foundation of how we live our life and experience life from then on. I believe that unless and until we connect to the original feeling, however painful (and this is why we usually avoid feeling the feeling at all costs, because we are too frightened to feel it again, so it's very important to work on uncoupling the feeling of fear from the original feeling) we won't be able to fully dissolve the charge on a memory or belief. Tapping diagram.

Whatever is rejected from the self, appears in the world as an event ~ Carl Jung

EFT tapping scripts for safety

2010-09-20T12:32:00.002+01:00

Every exit is an entry somewhere ~ Tom Stoppard

Try the following set up statements for tapping on safety, then use whatever reminder phrase that feels right for you on the points. Tapping diagram.

Even though it's not safe to feel this feeling, I'm afraid … will happen, I love and accept myself anyway

Even though it's not safe to express how I really feel, even to myself, I might have to do something about it then and I'm just not ready to act, I accept myself anyway

Even though some part of me believes it's not safe to let this go, I accept how this part feels

Even though I've had this … for so long, I can now safely release it and let it go (watch for any tailenders -objections- here and tap on them if they come up)

Even though this part(s) has kept me safe for so long by not feeling … I now choose to lift the burden from this part and help her/him feel the hurt and pain

Even though some part of me feels safer hanging on to …I love and accept this part

Even though I feel protected and at the same time unsafe, I accept how all parts of me feel

Even though I feel stuck because I'm afraid to move, I love and accept myself anyway

Every breath is an opportunity to receive and let go. I receive love and I let go of pain ~ Brenda MacIntyre

Willingness and Safety

2010-09-16T14:42:00.000+01:00

All you need is your will to even flow ~ Silvia Hartmann

If someone were to ask me what are the most important themes to tap on, I'd say willingness and safety. Not being willing will sabotage any effort to love and accept our self, life and others, exactly as we and they are and if we don't feel safe or feel that we belong in this world, it will be difficult to realise our inherent and infinite potential. State, out loud:

I am willing

I am/feel safe

Rate the truth of these statements from 0 to 10, 10 being true and 0 being false. Tap on the 'evidence' you have of these not feeling true for you.Tapping diagram.

Even if ...

2010-09-12T17:52:00.002+01:00

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change ~ Carl Rogers

I came across this song by Alanis Morisette and thought it was made for tapping along to!

One way to find core beliefs/issues is to ask your self what do you feel you have to get rid of or make go away in order for you to accept and love your self? Can you love and accept your self exactly as you are right now, even if nothing changed? If not, why not? Then, tap on your answers. Tapping diagram.

Even if

… I never lose weight, I can still love and accept myself

… this … never goes away, I'll still be able to accept and love myself exactly as I am

… I remain sick, I'm a good and lovable person

… I won't accept myself exactly as I am, I am still a good person

In the film, The Living Matrix, Arielle Essex talks about developing a brain tumour, and after 8 years of doing all she could to make it go away, she finally gave the tumour permission to stay, and when she did that, it disappeared. She says:

“When I finally let go of needing my tumour to disappear, when I finally accepted its presence and gave it permission to be with me to the end of my days, when I recognised it as my friend, guide and teacher, when I felt gratitude for the motivation it had given me to change my life and my thinking, when I had forgiven all the people I had grudges with, my tumour no longer had a purpose and it melted away!"

Panic, Biology, and Reason: Giving the Body Its Due

2010-08-30T14:49:00.002+01:00

Article by Peter A. Levine, Ph.D., Director of the Foundation for Human Enrichment, www.traumahealing.com

The Substitute Tiger

My interest in the essential role played by bodily responses in the genesis and treatment of panic anxiety began quite accidentally in 1969. A psychiatrist, knowing of my interest in “mind/body healing”-a fledging arena at the time, had referred a young woman to see me. Nancy had been suffering from panic attacks for about two years. She had not responded to psychotherapy, while tranquilizers and antidepressant drugs gave her only minimal relief. The referring psychiatrist asked me to do some “relaxation training” with her. My attempts were equally unsuccessful. She resisted; I tried harder. We got nowhere. Since I knew almost nothing about panic attacks at the time, I asked her for more detailed information about the ‘how and when’ of her attacks. Nancy revealed that the onset of her first attack occurred while she, along with a group of other students, was taking the Graduate Record Examination. She remembers breaking out in a cold sweat and beginning to shake. Forcing herself to complete the test, Nancy then ran out, frantically pacing the streets for hours, afraid to enter a bus or taxi. Fortunately, she met a friend who took her home. During the following two years her symptoms worsened and became more frequent. Eventually she was unable to leave her house alone and could not follow through with graduate school even though she had passed the exam and was accepted by a major university.

In our conversation, Nancy recollected the following sequence of events: Arriving early, she went to the cafe to have a coffee and smoke a cigarette. A group of students were already there, talking about how difficult the test was. Nancy, overhearing this, became agitated, lit another cigarette, and gulped a second coffee. She remembered feeling quite jittery upon entering the room. She recalled that the exams and marking pencils were passed out and that she wrote vigorously. She became almost breathless at this point and quite agitated--I noticed that her carotid (neck) pulse was increasing rapidly. I asked Nancy to lie down and I tried to get her to relax. Relaxation was not the answer. As I naively, and with the best of intentions, attempted to help her relax, she went into a full-blown anxiety attack. Her heartbeat accelerated further to about 150 beats per minute. Her breathing and pulse rate then started to decrease. I was relieved, but only momentarily. Her pulse continued to drop, precipitously to around 50 beats per minute; she became still. Her face paled and her hands begin to tremble: “I’m real scared…stiff all over…I’m dying…I can’t move…I don’t want to die…help me…don’t let my die.” She continued to stiffen, her throat becoming so tight that she could barely speak. Nancy forced the words, “Why can’t I understand this…I feel so inferior, like I’m being punished…there’s something wrong with me…I feel like I’m going to be killed… there’s nothing…it’s just blank.” (We had rather unfortunately co-discovered, some years before it was reported in the literature, “relaxation-induced panic syndrome.”) Read on

EFT and Safety

2010-08-23T10:34:00.002+01:00

We must not forget that what Emotional Freedom Techniques does, is to discharge a short circuit in our energy systems. How we call up or evoke that energetic disturbance so it can be released, varies, we can do it with imagery, smells, sounds, music, metaphors, body sensations or some other representation of the disturbance. To dissolve the disruption effectively and thoroughly we need to be tuned into it as best we can. Being tuned in means to be associated with or to feel the energy of the feeling that caused the initial energetic disturbance in the first place. It's always about how we feel about "X" that causes our energy to short circuit. While sometimes it is necessary to go gently, the most important ingredient for someone to be able to tune in and fully associate with their feelings, is to feel safe enough to do so. We will not tune in or we will refuse to feel feelings that cause huge disruptions in our energy systems if we don't feel safe. So, if our feelings are causing the short circuit, let's use our feelings in a safe way to dissolve the short circuit.

What creates the safety that we need to feel those feelings? Someone being fully present with us, which has the effect of us feeling heard, understood and accepted and also having our feelings and experiences witnessed and validated. This experience is something we can fully place our trust in because it just cannot be faked. We will know whether or not we feel safe with a therapist or practitioner even though we might question our self, we'll know whether the person has created a safe place for us to open up and connect with our hurt and vulnerability.

The solution to the problem of the day is the awakening of the consciousness of humanity to the divinity within ~ Hazrat Inayat Khan

Getting all parts on board

2010-08-18T13:08:00.003+01:00

All YOU need to do is to have the WILL to Even Flow
~ Silvia Hartmann

You can make life a lot easier for your self if you're willing. Willingness is probably the most important ingredient when you embark on a healing journey. You can do a lot when you're willing. Being willing means wanting to do something, not forcing yourself to do something, that's willpower, not willingness. Willpower takes effort, a lot of effort, it's sort of like swimming upstream, against the current with a big sack on your back, it's exhausting! And that struggle and effort are some of the most important reasons why we don't follow through on a lot of things that we say we want. When all parts of us aren't willing, we'll do all sorts of things to sabotage our healing efforts. Not being willing will manifest as:

~ Procrastination
~ Self sabotage
~ Conflict, particularly conflicted parts that want different things
~ Avoidance (denial, burying, stuffing, distraction, dissociation, suppression, shutting down) of the issue and the related feelings
~ Not feeling safe. Safety is one of the most important core issues to tap on, it underlies many if not all issues and is a primary reason for not being willing to heal

One of the most important things to tap on therefore, is being willing or wanting to heal. Try some of the following set up statements. Tapping diagram.

Even though I'm not willing to heal because … I completely accept how I feel right now

Even though a part of me is not willing because … I accept and understand how that part feels

Even though I'm not willing to feel … I accept how I feel about that

Even though one part is willing and another part isn't because … I completely accept and understand this conflict

Even though all of this feels forced, maybe because it's not what I truly want, I am now open to what my heart truly desires because I know it will be effortless

Even though I just don't want to make the effort, I accept how I feel right now

Even though I don't feel safe moving forward, I accept how I feel at this moment

Two sides of the same coin

2010-08-16T11:11:00.004+01:00

golden waterfall, originally uploaded by paul (dex).

Resistance and Willingness are two sides of the same coin. Willingness will help you heal, resistance will stop any healing in its tracks. Willingness is an essential, and probably the most important, ingredient in the healing process. There's no bargaining to be done here, if you're not willing, you're going to find it exhausting struggling to do what you say you want to do. It will be uphill all the way. You will resist and fight every hurdle and obstacle you encounter which will drain your energy. You will hide, avoid, refuse to take responsibility, refuse to feel, want to be right all the time, project your stuff on to others, you'll do anything and everything rather than just start!

Do your self a favour at the start of the healing process, ask your self how willing you are to heal. Rate the truth of how willing you are from 0 to 10. Be completely honest. You can tap on all the reasons as to why you're not willing which will make your healing journey a lot easier and less painful. You might be surprised at the answers you come up with.

To heal we need to be willing to:
1 Look at something
2 Acknowledge it and
3 Feel it.

Willingness is not the same as willpower. Willingness is being open, being receptive and aware of what needs to be done. Willingness is effortless when all parts of you are on board.

What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life

~ Leo Buscaglia

Emotional Flashback Management in the Treatment of Complex PTSD

2010-08-10T10:53:00.003+01:00

This is a fantastic article by Pete Walker from http://www.psychotherapy.net

Early in my career I worked with David,* a handsome, intelligent client who was a professional actor. One day David came to see me after an unsuccessful audition. Beside himself, he burst out: "I never let on to anyone, but I know that I'm really very ugly; it's so stupid that I'm trying to be an actor when I'm so painful to look at."

David's childhood was characterized by emotional abuse, neglect and abandonment. The last and unwanted child of a large family, his alcoholic father repeatedly terrorized him. To make matters worse, his family frequently humiliated him by reacting to him with exaggerated looks of disgust. His older brother's favorite gibe, accompanied by a nauseated grimace, was, "I can't stand looking at you. The sight of you makes me sick!" David was so traumatized by the contempt with which his family had treated him that he was easily triggered by anything but the most benign expression on my face. If he came into session already triggered, he would often project disgust onto me, no matter how much genuine goodwill and regard I felt for him at the time.

I have come to call these reactions, typical of David and of many other clients over the years, emotional flashbacks—sudden and often prolonged regressions ("amygdala hijackings") to the frightening and abandoned feeling-states of childhood. They are accompanied by inappropriate and intense arousal of the fight/flight instinct and the sympathetic nervous system. Typically, they manifest as intense and confusing episodes of fear, toxic shame, and/or despair, which often beget angry reactions against the self or others. When fear is the dominant emotion in an emotional flashback, the individual feels overwhelmed, panicky or even suicidal. When despair predominates, it creates a sense of profound numbness, paralysis and an urgent need to hide. Feeling small, young, fragile, powerless and helpless is also common in emotional flashbacks. Such experiences are typically overlaid with toxic shame, which, as described in John Bradshaw's Healing The Shame That Binds, obliterates an individual's self-esteem with an overpowering sense that she is as worthless, stupid, contemptible or fatally flawed, as she was viewed by her original caregivers. Toxic shame inhibits the individual from seeking comfort and support, and in a reenactment of the childhood abandonment she is flashing back to, isolates her in an overwhelming and humiliating sense of defectiveness. Clients who view themselves as worthless, defective, ugly or despicable are showing signs of being lost in an emotional flashback. When stuck in this state, they often polarize affectively into intense self-hate and self-disgust, and cognitively into extreme and virulent self-criticism.

Numerous clients tell me that the concept of an emotional flashback brings them a great sense of relief. They report that for the first time they are able to make some sense of their extremely troubled lives. Some get that their addictions are misguided attempts to self-medicate. Some understand the inefficacy of the myriad psychological and spiritual answers they pursued, and are in turn feel liberated from a shaming plethora of misdiagnoses. Some can now frame their extreme episodes of risk taking and self-destructiveness as desperate attempts to distract themselves from their pain. Many experience hope that they can rid themselves of the habit of amassing evidence of defectiveness or craziness. Many report a budding recognition that they can challenge the self-hate and self-disgust that typically thwarts their progress in therapy. Read on.

Repairing injuries

2010-08-04T11:14:00.000+01:00

Making friends with a condition or issue is the same as making friends with your self. It might be easier for us to believe, and more true, that instead of having created these issues, they are the manifestations of how we reacted and responded to life events that we had no control over. I don't believe we have 100% control over life's events, what we can control and choose is our ability to respond.

But don't we need the resources to be able to do that? Does a three year old have the resources to choose her reaction or response to her father sexually abusing her? I don't believe so, she can't do anything about it except to cut off her pain in whatever way she can so she doesn't feel it, because it's too overwhelming. This cutting off or shutting down, can take the form of dissociating, acting out, becoming subdued and compliant and so on. I like the way traumas and conditions are described in Emotrance as “injuries to our spiritual or energetic body”, because that is exactly what they are. They hurt just like an injury hurts, but often these hurts are hidden and invisible. These Injuries need to be repaired so our energy can flow again. We can't repair what we are fighting and resisting, we are just making our injury bigger and sorer. We think we are resisting what happened or what was done to us, but in actual fact, mostly we are resisting feeling our own pain. We are fighting our self and our pain. Feeling our pain, making friends with it, is the way to repairing these old injuries.

That idea is fundamental ~ to feel pain and not to resist; to go towards it. It is an incredibly spiritual practice ~ Christy Turlington

Why do we find it so difficult to feel certain feelings?

2010-07-29T14:11:00.000+01:00

It is not enough to think about feelings. It is essential to feel them so as to gain the ability to feel. Feelings are our humanity ~ Arthur Janov

Why do we find it so difficult to feel certain feelings? We hang onto the “good” ones for dear life and avoid the “bad” ones for dear life!! Neither approach creates ease and flow, the first creates stagnation and the latter, blockages. When we feel good, others usually don't have an issue with it, but if we feel less than good, others can find it hard to handle and we can feel judged or criticised. We think this is about us because of our baggage, but most likely they are being triggered by our feelings, usually because they have disowned those very feelings. We, on the other hand are triggered by their judgements and criticisms and feel bad and wrong for feeling the way we do, which most likely is a pattern that we keep repeating. We will try and distance our self from feelings that feel bad and uncomfortable and feelings that seem to invite criticism from others. What this adds up to is a denial of our humanity and our ability and gift to be able to feel anything and everything.

If, when we were young, certain feelings were not accepted, criticised and shamed, we will suppress them, we will do anything to feel safe within our family so as not to feel/be rejected or abandoned. Many of us carry these fears of feeling certain feelings into adulthood, associating them with the danger of not being loved, accepted or safe. We will find it really hard, if not impossible, to give a voice to these feelings, we'll deny them, bury them, avoid them, distract our self from them, do whatever we have to do to not feel them. But life won't let us get away with this, we'll eventually be called upon to make our true feelings known, even if only to our self. If we refuse to feel our feelings, our bodies will do the talking and feeling for us, our bodies never lie. That unfelt energy has to go somewhere and it's our bodies who usually take it on for us. Without the priceless feedback from our emotions and feelings we would find it very difficult to navigate through life. We wouldn't be able to feel touched by beautiful music and we wouldn't fear going near the edge of a cliff. Feelings give our life meaning and context, how could we attribute meaning to anything without being able to feel?

In his book Ageless Body Timeless Mind, Deepak Chopra describes hurt “as the most basic negative feeling”. He goes on to say that:

Coming to the moment by putting your attention on the pain allows you to release the pain as soon as it occurs. This release occurs naturally- it is what the body wants to do- and attention is the healing power that triggers it. Putting attention on your feelings gets you closer to the state of witnessing; you observe the pain without getting wrapped up in all the secondary blame, avoidance, and denial that usually follows. As you learn to say, "I feel hurt", and really be with that feeling, more openness will develop. the emotions that frighten us are the complex ones, because they overwhelm the natural release mechanism. You cannot simply release guilt or depression. They are secondary formations that arose once you forgot how to release hurt. The more hurt you honestly feel, the more comfortable you will be with pain, because the ability to release it will grow. As this happens, you will feel easier about all your other emotions. (To a blocked mind, feeling 'positive' emotions such as love and trust is often just as difficult as feeling 'negative' emotions such as hate and distrust. Both are elauded by old unresolved hurts). Feeling easy with your emotions means that you won't get entangled in other people's.

Another fantastic read on the subject of feelings is, Biology of Love, by Arthur Janov, he writes:

Ideas cannot change feelings. Only feelings can. This seemingly simple notion has profound implications. For if we are trying to regain our humanity, we need to regain our feelings; and we cannot do that through the mode of ideas alone. To regain feeling one must fully experience all the hurt blocking it, and bring the pain to conscious awareness. Then an "idea" can make changes, when it flows out of feelings. Conscious awareness strips the unconscious of its power to direct behaviour. Ideas and feelings reside in different places in the brain. We must not try to make one level do the work of another level. We must not attempt to use ideas to replace feelings. The feeling of feeling involves specific structures in the brain such as the hippocampus and amygdala. Ideas about those feelings are processed in the top-level cortex, specifically the left hemisphere, forward part of the brain. If we use the frontal cortex alone to feel, we are in trouble. The most we can expect is a crying "about", an adult looking back at childhood, instead of a child actually feeling her hurts.

Reacting and Responding

2010-07-26T12:00:00.000+01:00

When we react we are not in the present moment. We are re-acting/acting again/back or against something. As Albert Einstein said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." We react when we're triggered, and very often it's a knee jerk reaction where we return to an old conditioned state which needs healing and resolving.

The first step is to be aware. When you're mindful you notice, in the moment, that you are re-acting, which is when you move into responding instead. This brings you immediately into the present moment, where you can act from a position of clarity and authentic power.

A feeling about a feeling

2010-07-22T14:20:00.004+01:00

dominos, originally uploaded by greg westfall..

When you have a feeling that leads to another feeling, that leads to another feeling and maybe even another feeling, tap on the feeling(s) you have about the original feelings first. In practice this might look like you experience anger, the minute you feel angry you start to feel guilty and then you start to feel disloyal. This can lead to confusion, overwhelm and not knowing where to start so we end up not tapping at all!!

The feeling to start with, is the last feeling, in this case, disloyalty. Disloyalty will act like a block or a fence around the original feeling that is causing you disturbance. You'll find tapping on disloyalty, and all its aspects, will naturally lead you, like dominoes falling against one another, to the next feeling and the next and so on. This way, you'll be able to collapse and dissolve the energetic charges certain feelings cause you, much more easily.Tapping diagram

Emotional Honesty

2010-07-20T11:27:00.003+01:00

Excerpted from In the Meantime by Iyanla Vanzant:

Emotional honesty begins with being able to acknowledge what you feel. It is the way by which we honour the fact that we are emotional beings and that we do have feelings. This is something adults often fail to realise about children, that they are emotional beings. Consequently, as adults, we fail to recognise it about ourselves. It is not always necessary for you to announce to others what you feel. You must, however, allow yourself to feel it. Only through the experience of what you feel are you able to stay in touch with your inner self. Once you are in touch you will realise that all feelings are neutral, and that they derive their meaning from the energy that we give them. In essence, there are no good or bad feelings unless we tell ourselves they are good or bad. The actual conflict or confusion we experience is knowing the difference between acknowledging what we feel and the appropriate expression of that knowledge. Being able to identify and acknowledge what you feel is a sign of emotional health and stability. It empowers you to choose the appropriate response. When, on the other hand, you get stuck judging the right and wrong of your emotional experiences, to the degree that you deny having them, you are painting yourself into a very tight corner, an emotional tight spot that can often lead to inappropriate expressions.

Whether or not you are involved in a love relationship, emotional suppression, which is a form of self-deception, does not honour you, nor does it honour those with whom you interact in any way. Self-deception is failure to acknowledge the truth about yourself or others. If you cannot accept truth, you are in denial. When you are involved in something as powerful as loving yourself and others, the attempt to deny the depths of your experience creates what you know as pain. In the meantime, while you don't have this figured out, you are prone to do everything in your power to deny what you feel, believing that denial will keep you from speaking the painful truth. Important love rule here: acknowledgement and expression are not the same thing! Acknowledgement means having the courage to admit to yourself what you are feeling. Expression means having the presence of mind and the courage to let someone else know. They are two active reminders that love does not strip you of your decision-making faculties or the power to make a choice.

Say the unsayable ...

2010-07-12T12:36:00.003+01:00

... even if only to yourself. The very thing you don't want to say, admit to, or face, is one of your greatest healing opportunities. By naming it and tapping on it, you will dissolve the huge disruption it is causing in your energy system. Tapping diagram.

Inside my empty bottle I was constructing a lighthouse while all the others were making ships ~ Charles Simic

Momentum

2010-07-09T11:30:00.002+01:00

We can lose momentum easily if we don't feed our spirits as well as we feed our bodies. We need to look after what is important to us. Try the tapping script below to keep you connected and tuned in. Tapping diagram.

Enthusiasm is the energy and force that builds literal momentum of the human soul and mind ~ Bryant H. McGill

Even though I lose momentum, I accept myself

Even though I can't seem to stick to things that I really like, I accept where I am

Even though I sometimes forget what's really important to me, I accept myself

TH I'm losing momentum
EB With important things
SE Why?
UE I don't know
UN I need to keep feeding my spirit
UC With things that matter
CB I need to surround myself
UA With reminders

TH Of what's important to me
EB I want to dissolve
SE All resistance
UE To my good
UN I know it's there
UC I just need to connect
CB And stay connected
UA To my source

TH Of energy
EB Because it's who I am
SE I am that
UE I know it
UN I feel it
UC It is me
CB We're connected
UA Even if I forget sometimes

Hear

2010-07-07T09:43:00.001+01:00

Excerpted from Until Today by Iyanla Vanzant

If you really want to hear someone when they trust you enough to talk to you, don't listen to the words, hear how the words are spoken. All too often, we cannot hear the words because we come to the conversation with our own ideas about who people are. At the same time, we are determined not to let them see who we are. In order for effective and valued communication to occur, you must believe that you are safe, and you must offer that same safety to the other person.

If you want to communicate with another person, you must hear their fear and not dismiss it. You must hear a person's pain and not overlook it. It is important to hear a person's guilt and not buy into it. You must be ready to hear a person's anger and not fuel it. Most people need to know that they have been heard. Listen to their body. Listen to their eyes. Listen to colours they are wearing, they way they touch their hair. Listen to the volume. Listen to the tempo. If you really want to hear someone, open your heart and listen to their soul.

Until today, you may not have been able to hear what people are saying to you. Just for today, close your eyes when you are in a conversation. Hear every word that is spoken through the centre of your heart.

Conflicted parts

2010-07-04T14:11:00.005+01:00

A conflict begins and ends in the hearts and minds of people, not in the hilltops ~ Amos Oz

Conflict is very often at the core of an issue. One part of you wants, feels or does something and another part is in conflict about that. Any conflict has the effect of stalling any progress or resolution of an issue, so it's very useful to ask yourself whether you have any conflict about the issue and tap on the conflict itself. For example, if you learned at 4 years of age that not only was it not acceptable to express anger, but you did not even have the right to feel angry in the first place, you most likely will have conflict about anger later on in life. As a result, you may suppress anger, feel guilty when anger arises which compounds an initially simple issue of being able to feel anger and express it. Learning how to fully feel and express a feeling, engages our natural release mechanism for resolving painful emotions.

Some sample set up statements you could try are:

Even though a part of me feels angry about ... another part feels disloyal for feeling angry and I completely accept how both parts feel

Even though I feel conflicted about ... I accept that's how I feel right now

Even though I don't like the part that feels this way, I choose to understand what is behind that feeling

Constriction and Expansion

2010-06-23T10:51:00.003+01:00

There's no limit possible to the expansion of each one of us ~ Charles M Schwab

Scan your body for signs of constriction and tap on the constriction. Notice if the contriction changes in quality as you tap, pay attention to the smallest and biggest of signs. If your breath becomes constricted if you meet with resistance to feeling any constriction, breathe through it and keep tapping. Tapping diagram.

Using EFT with the body and breath

2010-06-21T10:43:00.006+01:00

We can feel and process through the body and breath. Becoming aware of our body, its sensations and our breath, helps us engage our natural release mechanism for stress. If we begin to feel frightened and want to avoid or distract our self, EFT helps dissolve any energy disturbances so we can continue our release work.

Further resources
Somatic experiencing
Body psychotherapy
Constricted breathing technique
German New Medicine
John Diamond M.D., Your Body Doesn't Lie: Unlock the Power of Your Natural Energy!
Robert Scaer M.D., The Body Bears the Burden, Trauma Dissociation and Disease